Wind

Chapter 2

Time to move on from my teenage life. Being eighteen since a few weeks, i had taken a few resolutions. I was heading to university and thus, had to follow this huge step in my life by changing myself. Even though I loved my friends with all my heart, we would all be separated after highschool. I decided to make new ones, to try to fit in university by not letting my lonely side get the best of me.

Also, i wanted to emancipate from my family's grip, which has been way too important my whole life. I put up with shit i shouldn't have but i know I'm not capable to tell them all the things i have on my heart. My brother had always been in the light, being outgoing, confident and basically liked by anyone he talked with. It also made him a difficult teenager to deal with, always starting fights with the parents anytime he would feel like it, coming home at 4 in the week and making toxic friends. He had almost never had to be the family's punching ball. That was my role.

I had always been the one we take out our anger on. Wether it was my mom, my stepdad, my dad, my stepmom or my brother. I had to be the stable one, the one my parents could lay on, who never went out of the tracks. Until this year i had never realized how much it had ruined me to never speak up when i was mad, to keep everything for me. Until my breakdown. This previous year had been the worst of my lifen going through depression and chronic anxiety. All i needed now was to start a new life. University would be my entry to this.

I shoved the photos in my « memory » box, putting it in the back of my dressing. For campus, i'll have taken only my favorite clothes with me, tossed the rest aside. I planned to do a lot of shopping in California.
Considering we live between Los Angeles and San Francisco, we have a two hour trip to campus. In one week, it will be the official start of the year. Although i'm not as driven as others, i intend to get good grades in order to be able what i want to do later on, which i have no idea. I give one last glance to the bedroom i grew up in and head downstairs. My luggage is rather small considering i'm supposed to move out definitely and not come back for at least the entire year. Once i've finished stomping over the staircase, i reach the hallway almost dead, begging for my feet to give me a chance to live. I take my phone out of my purse and unlock it to discover 3 missed calls and 2 texts. The 2 first missed calls are from my father. I can't help but feel guilty to not be with him for this important step of my life. I feel so much more closer to him after this year than ever before. We now have a bond I don't share with my mother. I scout closer to the kitchen so that my mom and brother can't hear the voice message he left me,i don't even know why. I press the button listen and sit down on a chair.

«- hi honey » His voice is hoarse but seem to hold a smile.
« - just calling you to know if everything's okay. i hope you're well organized and prepared for this. I'm so proud of you honey. If i can tell you anything, it's have fun. Wether it's in your work, in your day-to-day life, with your friends, have fun. Enjoy things as much as you can and take every little moment of pleasure as an achievement and a goal to reach. Be happy with the little things, don't aim too high like you usually do honey. Just go in there and have fun, no pressure. We...I don't expect you to be the first of your promo, even though i'd be really proud if you were, but i do want you to enjoy as much as you can. You've come to this huge step in your life and my little girl is now an adult...Well, not going to bother you any longer, you must be very occupied. Call me back when you can, alright ? Good, bye honey ».

I sigh once the voice disappears. My father and his speeches. I giggle a the thought of his serious face but playful smile trying to give me a deep lecture about life. If Auré would've listened to this we would've joked about his need for grandiloquence. However, his speeches touch me more than i like to show, when i hide behind an awkward laugh or make a joke to enlighten the mood. I note in a corner of my head to remind myself that i'll have to call him back, give him news and gently mock him for his dramatic voicemessage. The last missed call is one from Joe, who's supposed to come with me to campus and help me move in my dorm. It's already ten but it's no big deal, we still have twenty minuts before going. I knew she'd be late as always, so i had her believe we had to go for ten in order to have here by 10 :20. I glance up my phone to check if she has arrived but my mom and my brother are alone by the porch, having an animated talk by the look on their faces. I decide to not give a shit as i search trough my phone for the 2 texts I have received and still not opened.

One is from Max and says «  its gonna be lit Drea' » which is suprising considering he's stoned 24/7 with the boys and not used to showing affection. I go up my notifications and press on the last one. My heart skips a beat when I see the familiar « G ». I don't want to open it. I'm afraid it'll ruin the first day of my nnew life. Deciding against it, i press the button open and read « have fun ». Well, yes. I do intend to have fucking fun G. Thanks to you ? I have no idea what to answer him. If only we could speak eye to eye it wouldn't make things so difficult. But he's the one who gave everything he had to be the best asshole he could be. I really should've handed him a medal. Anyway, for now, the least i want is to dig back into the past. Not fucking happening. I'm gonna leave it all behind and live my best life in university. I shove my phone back into my purse and head to the porch where my mom and Auré are waiting for me and Joe. I throw my luggage and my bag into the trunk, not even trying to place it right and step inside of the car, on the passager seat. I text Joe, taking a piss at her for being late again. I realize how stupid it was from me to get into the car because i'm gonna have to get out to help Joe and say proper goodbyes to Auré. Even though, i don't really give a shit about proper goodbyes, i know that's how it's supposed to work. I guess I'm just not emotional on that level. Unfortunately, i just sat there, confident and now i have to get out of the car. I'm gonna look like an idiot. Should I just find an excuse like « haha the fuck i forgot my watermelon in the fridge, guess i'm gonna have TO GET OUT of the car haha. » i don't even care really about all this, i just hate feeling silly and unconsistent.

While i keep overthinking, i hear someone shout. I break my neck to give a look at who's currently making goat noises in the middle of the neighborhood. Her blond hair is curled and a bit thick, stopping above her shoulders, surrouding her round tanned face. As Joe gets closer, i can see she put a light touch of makeup as she usually does. She especially focuses on her baby blue eyes, wearing mascara, eyeliner and eyeshadow? I don't fucking know one thing about makeup about lipsticks. With the weather being hot and moist, i was convinced she would wear the outfit i'm seeing right now. Joe has on her favorite skirt, long, smooth and yellow with a cut between the legs. She wears a simple dark green tee tucked above her waist and her white converse. She's still yelling once she arrives next to the car.
I can finally begin to understand what the screams were about.

-Mlle Lluis ! Get out of that car and come say hi ! She starts, encouraging me with her hands to get out. Thanks Joe, thats all i needed.

-Oh cmon cmon don't get over yourself you devil ,  I joke back using the mid 40's tone.

We laugh stupidly and highfive each other and make our way to my mom and brother.
He's the one i have to say bye to. I try to find something to say but i can't manage to.

- Don't do crap out there, call me if you have a problem, i mean it. »He threatens, balancing from one feet to the other.

-Yeah yeah jesus.. will you stop with the death threats.. » I sigh and giggle.

He gives me a sweet kiss on the forehead, which is unbelievable seeing in the family we're really not fond of display of affection. I end up standing there awkwardly like a stupid stick. Should i kiss his forehead back? Is that even a thing ? That would be the most weirf exchanges to ever exits. Who the fuck communicates in forehead kisses, like one after the other. I grin as i picture it in my head and realize everyone is still rather awkward with what just happened. Shit, great, gonna have to enlighten the mood. I could get naked and pretend to do my sport session. That would certainely work but there's no way I'm recycling the weirdness. Auré can juste keep it.

-Okay, well i think we have to go if i don't wanna be late to get my keys for my room » I claim, trying to end the situation. 

Who the hell kisses one's forehead and get back in their position silently like some sort of fucking robot..

-You're right, let's go ! Aurelien i'll be back late, you're twenty anyway do what you want. » She tells him cheerfully pinching his nose.

He groans and give one last goodbye to Joe before going back into the house.

- I love him » I hear Joe confess for the hundred time.

- He told me he was considering taking you on a date. He's not sure though, his bedroom or .. his bedroom? » I joke back.

- This is more than i ever dreamt of.. » She trails of, smiling ironically.