Who's to Blame?

1

"Earth to Sheila... helllo" my mom says, waiting for an answer. "Do you need to bring your own pillow to the sleepover tonight?" Ugh, I forgot about my friend Ashley's party, the last thing I want to do is put on a fake smile and laugh my way through the pain, but I can't tell my mom that, she wouldn't understand. "Um yeah mom, I'll grab it in a minute." I continue to stare at my phone, reading the comments on her instagram photos, filled with "rip" and "we love you so much." Every single one of them seems fabricated, made by people that never knew her like I did. I hold back tears as I walk up the stairs to my room. An hour passes and my mom yells that we have to go, already halfway out the door. When I get in the car, I recognize her facial expression, her honey brown eyes are filled with worry, and her forehead creases. Great. Like I need this right now. Not one minute into the trip she asks me; "were you friends with that girl?" "No mom, I wasn't and I don't want to talk about that right now," I say defensively, trying to sound like a normal teenager. "You'd tell me if you felt like that right? I just keep thinking about that poor mother, I'll never understand why someone could do something like that... suicide is so selfish." I'm flooded with anger, and she wonders why I never tell her when I'm struggling. We pull up to Ashley's house and I get out of the car so fast that I slam the door in the middle of her shouting "I'm going out with Bryan tonight so don't call me or anything!"