Brainwashed

Ch. 2 Mom

I don't remember my mom being in my life a whole lot as a child. After the divorce I guess it was too painful to look at me and to know that she had made a mistake by having me. I would see her maybe once a month, but most of the time she would take me to her friend's house so they could watch me while she went out to party. If her friend couldn't watch me then she would just take me along with her to the parties and put me in a room with a bed and tell me to go to sleep. I couldn't have been any older than 7 years old at this point. I remember that one time I left one of those rooms she put me in to go use the bathroom. I could smell smoke and beer. It was so foggy in the house. I thought it might have been on fire, but the house didn't smell as if it was burning. It had this weird smell that I couldn't describe. I saw mommy sitting in some guys lap kissing some stranger. I never seen this man before. "Mommy?", I said in a high squeaky voice. "Nichole! What are you doing up? Go back to your room!" She yelled. I stood there, just looking around at everything. Everyone at the party was staring at me. Some could hardly stand up straight, while the others were passing something around to one another. Next thing I know my arm is being grabbed and I fell down. I started to cry. "Get up! Stop being such a titty baby and go back to bed!" , my mother shouted at me. When she got me back to the room I was still crying. There was a red mark on my arm from where she grabbed me. It hurt really bad so I started crying even harder. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about," she said. Of course being a small child I did and she slapped me across the face. After that she slammed the door and left. I remember laying down on that bed sobbing for what seemed like hours listening to everyone at the party. When my mother returned to the guest I remember hearing people shout. It sounded as some glass as broken as well and next thing I know I'm being pulled out of bed and thrown into a back seat of a car. "Put that seat belt on," she yelled. I did as I was told and I looked out the window. It was dark I had no idea where I was. I saw my mom light something up. It had that funny smell to it, like the one at the party. She put it to her lips and inhaled deeply then blew out a ton of smoke. I started coughing. " Shut up!" She yelled," you have always been a problem for me. I can't ever do anything without you fucking it up. I was having fun tonight and you had to come out and ruin it! You are nothing but some stupid mistake I made years ago, but you soon won't be a problem for me anymore. " A tear fell down off my cheek as she said those words to me. I was just a little girl what did I do that was so wrong? What did I do to cause her to hate me so much?

I woke up the next morning in my warm soft bed. No one was around. I was at my grandparents house and my mother was no where in site. My grandma was cheerful and I didn't dare to ask where my mom was. I didn't know that would be the last time I would see my mom.