Rebel Red Carnation {Kiribaku}

XV

Wrong place, wrong time.

That's what I fucking want to think as I'm sitting on the cold floor of the tiny ass cell I'm thrown into—not the same as the one I was in before, but probably the one right next to it. I want to think that if I'd gone to Ochako's or just fucking stayed home, or gone down to the shed, they wouldn't have found me. They'd have given up searching for me after a while and left me the fuck alone.

But I know that's a lie. They'd have torn apart The Outskirts and done whatever the hell it took just to find me, and I don't doubt that would mean injuring or even killing innocent people, destroying their homes or their belongings. With the way they handled me when they did find me, tearing the knees of my jeans with the force they pushed me to the ground with, hauling me like a ragdoll to the car, and then manhandling me into this shitty cell where they finally removed the blindfold—but not the gag or the handcuffs—it was clear they were desperate.

So being where I was, as much as I fucking hate to admit it, was more convenient for both of us, even if it put me back here for hell knows why.

Not a word was said on the drive back unless these fuckers used some shitty sign language, or did something to take advantage of my hearing loss (assuming they even know about it). When the blindfold finally came off and they dumped me into the cell, the guard who slammed the door and left my eyes watering from the pain in my head at the sound didn't say a damned thing, so as I'm sitting here on this cold fucking floor, all I can do is wait and ponder.

It has to do with Eijirou. Has to do with him and all his bullshit about helping me and my people, with how he was very obviously going behind his family's back to do it and breaking rule after rule for us despite risking his own ass in the meantime. There's no fucking way it's anything else.

It was only a matter of time before he got caught, though. Not once did he tell me how he was obtaining the shit he sent, and whether it was supplied directly from the palace or if he used money to buy it, someone was bound to notice something missing eventually. I knew it all along, but because the people around me were doing so much better than they would've had it been a normal winter, I turned a blind eye.

Dammit! So why me? Wouldn't they just bomb the fucking place, put us all out of our misery? Or do they have to have some sort of shitty sacrifice, maybe make a video of my execution that they can later show my friends and have my mother listen to so they'll know better than to take what's not theirs or whatever? So they'll stay away from the capital city, and hate the palace and the royal family more than they already do?

Or are they going to torture and execute me to teach Eijirou a lesson, since they don't fucking believe we're soulmates? Even if they looked right at the proof, the doubts I have that they'll spare me run deeper than the rooted anger I've always held within me for them.

There are so many fucking things I don't know, things I can't even begin to try and predict. As I'm sitting here in this shitty cell, seemingly completely alone, my anxiety continues to rise. My mouth is dry. My ears hurt. My head hurts. My back is sore. And my heart seems to have forgotten how to slow to a normal pace.

The only relief I feel is in that shitty, heavy ache that's been sitting within me for weeks from being so far away from Eijirou. It's still there but it's so much more muted than before, so much easier to ignore. He's close. I'll probably be seeing him soon.

That thought alone is the only thing that keeps me sane while I'm trapped in this cell.

———

Taking an educated guess, I'm down in that basement for what feels like half a day or so before anything happens and when it does, it's loud. The same guards as before come down to drag me back out of the cell. While this time I've got a better grip on myself, I don't fight. The last thing I need is to make this shit worse than it already is because apparently, I'm hoping deep down that they'll show me some sort of mercy or at the very least leave my friends and family down in The Outskirts alone. They don't deserve to be punished for my stupidity...