Lili's Uncanny Undertaking (Belarus x Liechtenstein)

Chapter 3: In Which I Find Myself In The Wrong Place, At The Wrong Time

~Lili's POV~

The next day, I walked through the doors of my high school to find Natalya smiling. I grinned, relieved that her brother had not eaten her liver with a side of fava beans (Don't ask where I got that from, big brother watches VERY weird movies at 3 a.m). "Hey Lili" she greeted me "Nice to see that your brother didn't turn you into fondue!" I gasped. "Big Bruder would never do that!" Natalya facepalmed. "I'm joking, Lili." she said, a hint of amusement in her voice. It was right then and there when the bell rang, signaling that we had five minutes to get to class. "Race ya" Natalya snickered. I ran to my locker, grabbed my stuff, and slid into my seat just as the bell rang. Natalya jogged in one minute later, earning her an angry glance from Ms. Braginskaya.

After the teacher had taken roll, I grabbed a book. I was about to begin reading chapter 2, but Natalya had a better idea. "Why don't we just chat?" she asked, her blue eyes glowing. I was, however, reluctant to go along with this idea at first. Natalya only smiled. "Don't worry," she said, grinning "I read my sister's lesson plans, and there won't be a test until chapter 10. So we'll be ok if we just read the chapters online." I was still a bit skeptical, but decided to go along with it.

"Anyway, what's your brother like?" I asked. "Well, he may appear creepy, he's actually kind of nice." Natalya replied "He has a bit of an obsession with pipes, though." She noticed my questioning glance "Water pipes. He carries one with him everywhere." "Really? I didn't see one in the car yesterday." I interjected. Natalya grinned "Believe me, he always keeps one somewhere. My sister even had an exorcism conducted." Her face suddenly darkened. "I was five at the time, and it kinda emotionally scarred me. Poor Ivan." She stopped for a moment. "Anyway, Big Sister is very religious. She has us go to church every Sunday." I smiled "Big Bruder is kinda religious, too. But not really." Suddenly, Ms. Braginskaya yelled at us to stop talking, causing us to both giggle and begin chapter 2 at last.

~Time Skip Brought To You By Ivan's Secret Pipe Compartment~

It was finally lunch, and Natalya and I walked into the cafeteria together and got in line. Today's special was chili, courtesy of the poorly chosen cafeteria manager, Mr. Kirkland. "Nooooo!" semi-yelled Natalya "I can't die! I'm only 17! Not here! Not now!" I giggled. "You're so funny!" I said in a flirty tone of voice. Whoops, that sounded better in my head. Natalya, however, didn't notice. She was judging which two plates of chili were the least likely to give us food poisoning. She finally settled on a couple of semi-edible looking ones, and passed me one with an 'If you die, it's not my fault' look. We promptly moved through the lunch line and headed towards a table. Elizabeta tried to wave me over to her table, but Natalya nudged me over to an empty table. We ate and chatted about school for the entire lunch hour, before I had to go to history and she had to go to PE.

~Time Skip Brought To You By The History Of The World ~

I walked into 6th period science and took my seat. "Alright, everyone" began Mr. Adnan "Today we are going to dissect frogs!" I groaned. Between the frog dissection and Mr. Kirkland's "chili", I felt gas pains in my stomach. I raised my hand. "Mr. Adnan, I really need the restroom." I whined. Mr Adnan rolled his eyes. "Ok, but make it quick." I shot out of the classroom so fast, I didn't see that I was being followed.

I ran through the halls at the speed of light, and finally saw a sign pointing to the bathroom. I felt so nauseous at this point, I ran into the first bathroom I saw. Nothing could have prepared for what I saw next. Ludwig, the most popular boy in the school and also the quarterback for our football team, was kissing Feliciano, that one nerdy kid that literally no one likes. And I mean not a soul in the universe can summon any sort of sympathy for this kid. He can't do anything right. And Ludwig, well, he has a girlfriend. They both looked up, shocked to see that someone had entered. I laughed awkwardly. "Hehehe... um, wrong bathroom, gotta go!" As I tried to leave, a blinding camera flash filled the room. As soon as my vision returned, I looked for the photographer, but all I could hear was the perpetrator running away, laughing. I looked back over at Ludwig and Feliciano. Feliciano has passed out from fear, naturally, and Ludwig was just standing there, shocked. Finally, he opened his mouth. "Did you orchestrate this, girl?" he snarled. "No, I would never!" I replied. The jock grabbed the collar of my shirt and lifted me into the air. "Give me one good reason why I should believe you!" I whimpered, unable to think of anything. Ludwig cocked back his arm, ready to punch my delicate little face. Nooooo! I thought to myself, This can't be happening! As I braced for impact, another voice sounded out: "What in the name of all that is sacred do you think you're doing?!"

Ludwig dropped me in shock as Natalya enters the room. "This little girl had someone take a picture of vee when I wasn't expecting it!" Ludwig snapped back. "What sense would it make for her to have someone take a photo of the boy's restroom while she is in it? You see, going into a restroom for a gender you don't identify as is against school rules. How would it be logical for Lili here to get herself in trouble?" Natalya rationalized calmly. Ludwig took a moment to process this. "Ohhh, sorry..." he finally said, blushing. "Veh~" said Feliciano, who had finally woken up. His phone buzzed. As Feliciano looked at the screen, his eyes grew wide as he passed out again. My own phone soon buzzed, and my own eyes grow wide. New post by Eaglelhero74 on Instatalia the message read. I unlocked my phone and opened the post. Someone had posted the photo of Ludwig, Feliciano, and I with the caption Looks like our football star isn't everything that he seems! Also what is that little girl doing there? #trustnoone #creepystalker #darksecrets. Natalya was looking at her phone, too, as was a panic-stricken Ludwig. "Who would do such a thing!?!" whimpered Ludwig in a high-pitched voice. Natalya groaned. "Think, ідыёт. Who has an eagle as their favorite animal, thinks they are a hero, and 74 would mean something to them?" Ludwig gasped. "Not him! We had an alliance! Besides, what does 74 mean?" "That's his birthday." Natalya answered, a hint of annoyance in her voice. I began to understand. "Alfred?" I asked, remembering how rude he was, "Yes, Alfred." said Natalya. Ludwig looked like he was gonna destroy something. "When I find that dummkopf.." He was unable to finish his sentence, as Feliciano suddenly regained consciousness and latched on to his leg, sobbing incomprehensibly. Natalya decided that this discussion was over. "Come on, let's get back to class, there's nothing we can do about it."

~Time Skip Brought To You By A Crying Feliciano~

I walked out of 8th period, still depressed. Most of the school had seen the post by now, so everyone had a reaction to me walking by. As I made my way to the staircase that led downstairs, I heard an obnoxious voice in the background: "So, how's your new fame?" I whirled around to find myself face to face with Alfred, the brat that got me into this mess. Suddenly, all my anger at him breaks loose. My mouth becomes a crooked smile. "Rethink that choice." Alfred laughs. "And why should I?" I grinned, knowing exactly who was nearby. "Because you are starting to get on my nerves." Alfred snickered. "Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?" He didn't see Natalya coming until it was too late.

~A/N~

Chapter 3 is here! I know that Lili's personality is different from Hetalia, but I was aiming for more of a daring version of her for this. Also, I don't know how she figured out so much about the social hierarchy in 2 days. Natalya probably told her. (*^▽^*)

Finally, the reason Lili only uses "Bruder" once is because she only has an accent when she talks.

Extra Note: A moment of silence for all the students that fell victim to mr Kirkland's chili. (⌣_⌣)

Appendix:

Character Names:

Ivan-Russia

Mr. Kirkland- England

Mr. Adnan-Turkey

Ludwig-German

Feliciano-Italy

Translations:

Ідыёт-idiot

dummkopf- dumb head/idiot