A Torn Journal - Noriaki Kakyoin - Universe

Never Again

     As the Stand drew closer, I began to panic. It was only a meter or so away from me now. Noticing a stack of books on a nearby desk, I picked up the top book and threw it at the enemy. It seemed to phase right through it. I threw another, but it phased through as well and simply landed on the floor behind the Stand.
     When it was close enough, I punched at the enemy in a desperate attempt to get it away from me. My fist went right through its torso. What's up with this thing? Why can't I hit it? There was nothing left for me to do but watch in horror as the Stand reached out its arm, grabbed my shoulder, and threw me to the ground halfway across the room. More of the mist stuck to me as I hit the floor. I could push myself upright, but it took a lot of energy and I couldn't get to my feet.
     The enemy turned to face me again, treading slowly to my new location. I felt like I needed to move, but the ooze that trapped me prevented me from doing anything. What do I do? And what did that Stand do to me?
     As if in response to my question, I felt a searing pain in my left shoulder. That's where it grabbed me... As I looked over at it, I was filled with horror. My uniform jacket was torn and there was a huge black gash that went far deeper than bone. This might sound gruesome, but it looked like my very skin was boiling in the black ooze. I threw up a little bit in my mouth.
     "Void, what..." I began. "What is this?"
     "That's the terrible power that this Stand wields," he said in his playful voice. "It can only be initiated with the Stand's hands, but once you're hit, that ooze eats away at your body until there's nothing left of you but a rotting corpse."
     The pain grew worse as every second passed. And if it hits me again, I thought with a shudder, the time I have left will be halved. I have to get out of here... I can't win this fight! I tried again to stand up, but to no avail. I couldn't get my legs out of the ooze on the ground, and the strength in my left arm was failing. The Stand had eaten through most of the nerves in my shoulder.
     I took a deep breath. Alright, focus! I told myself. There has to be something I can do... I thought on this for a moment, as the slow-moving enemy drew uncomfortably close. I can't hit him with anything. It seems like his only weak spots are his hands because they're the only things that make any kind of contact. But if I touch his hands, I'll be burned even more. Does that mean... I'll have to hurt myself to defeat him? I shuddered at the thought of getting another wound like this one. I couldn't feel my left arm anymore, which meant I'd have to use my right arm to punch. Both of my hands will be destroyed.
     But as the enemy came closer, I decided that I didn't have any other options. Just as it reached out it's arm, I threw the hardest punch I could. I had to punch hard enough to at least stagger it. I knew I couldn't just destroy it in a single punch, but thought that I might be able to keep it at bay for a while if I could drive its hand into its head with the force of my fist. That would buy me time to get out of the ooze and come up with a better plan.
     My fist hit the Stand's palm with such force that the sound of the impact echoed through the room. It was the hardest I had ever punched, by far. But to my shock, the Stand was completely unfazed. It simply grabbed my fist and threw me again. I hit the wall with a loud crack. The air was knocked out of my lungs and I was heaving for breath as I fell to the floor. More mist stuck to me, holding me down again. Not like I had the energy to get up, anyway. So I just sat there for a while, slumped against the wall.
My punch... I thought to myself, It didn't even budge him. Is this... Is this Stand really invincible? My hand had been absolutely destroyed. The impact alone had eaten away three of my fingers, and I couldn't feel the rest of the hand anyway because of the nerves being torn to shreds. I can tell you without exaggeration that it was the most disgusting and appalling thing I'd ever seen. It was like my hand was melting away with the blackness of the ooze.
     At this point, I barely had the strength to move, let alone try to fight again. I felt so helpless. Will this really be what my final moments are like? I thought I heard the sound of someone grumpily walking down the hall. Sounds like Kanna's almost here. It doesn't matter, I'll be long dead before she gets to this room. I wish I could call to her, and tell her to get out of here... I closed my eyes and almost felt comfortable in the dark ooze surrounding me. So this is it, my thoughts murmured. This is really how it ends...?
     Suddenly, I heard the quiet, familiar voice.
     "You can't give up so soon, Noriaki."
     It's you, I thought to him. Where have you been? I would've been angry if I wasn't so exhausted.
"I've been with your group constantly, but there's only so much I can do at once."
     This sentence worried me. Only so much you can do at once... Does that mean the others were attacked, too?
     "Yes," he said, "But they were able to fend off the Stand."
     I sighed. Seems like the others aren't having any problems in their fights. Maybe it's just that... I'm not cut out for this. I'm not cut out for being a hero. I can't fight. I can't think my way out of battle. I can't even lift myself to my feet right now. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be, me meeting my end here.
     "Don't be discouraged, Noriaki."
     I grew a little bit angry at the voice.
     "And what are you doing to help?" I barked into the misty room with a quiet, raspy voice, no longer able to keep my emotions confined to my thoughts. "What have you done other than talk to me? You keep telling me not to give up and to stay strong, but what do you know about pain? You won't even tell me who you are, much less give me a reason why! You're selfish, you're secretive, you talk like you know everything, and the only thing you've ever done for me is encourage me!"
"Do you understand the importance of encouragement, Noriaki?" His voice had hardly changed its tone at all, despite the series of insults. "I kept you from leaving your companions in the alley. I told Jotaro that you needed help with the electrical Stand in the dead of night. I repaired your journal when it was soaked at sea. I've drawn you and Hierophant closer to reuniting. You wouldn't know this, but I've helped to give Polnareff the solace she so desperately needs after the death of her own parents. I've done so much for you Crusaders, all in my attempt to keep you together. But this is all I can do. The universe has limited the power I have to help and I couldn't even show myself if I wanted to. I haven't told you my name because it's best for you to focus on the tasks ahead of you rather than think about me. Someday, this will all blow over, and then will be the time for answers. But right now, you have a battle to win."
     I sighed. But, what if... I can't? I whispered through my thoughts. A dark kind of sadness filled my chest. It almost hurt, the weight of my own failure. It was painful to think about- Painful to feel. It was the overwhelming feeling that the universe had chosen me, but the universe had chosen wrong. Whoever you are... I said to the voice, you've misjudged me. I'm not fit to save the universe. I can't fight, I can't keep my mind straight during fights, I can't do anything right. Maybe the old me could've done it, but I'm not him anymore. I'm not the 'Crusader' you're looking for, I don't even know what I'm doing! I'm no hero. I never will be.
There was silence for a moment before I finally received a response. The voice came slowly and quietly, but its words were confident.
"A hero... Isn't someone who knows how to fight. A hero is just the one who's willing to do it. Willing to put their life on the line, willing to sacrifice everything, if only to save a single person. It's the honest belief that what you do in the here and now can make a difference for someone. It's knowing, yet not caring, that this could be your end. It's taking a risk, not because it will benefit you, but because it's the right thing. But most of all, it's being willing to die for the greater good without any regret. That is exactly what it means to be a hero." He paused. "Noriaki... I know you have that hero in you. You're here now, and that makes you the bravest person on the Earth. You've already shown me your faith in the fate you all share, now show me your faith in yourself. Show me your courage, Noriaki Kakyoin."
That phrase echoed through my head. Show me your courage, Noriaki Kakyoin. Over and over the words pounded at me until they seemed to dig into my very soul. My... Courage? That was the thing I had lost. The thing that the old Noriaki Kakyoin had. Not the 'old' Noriaki, I corrected myself. The real Noriaki.
I took a deep breath. Alright. Time to gather my courage. I'm defeating this Stand.
With a heart full of determination and all the strength I could muster, I was able to force myself to my feet. The Stand, which happened to be right next to me by now, tried to grab my healthy shoulder and throw me again to the side. I ducked beneath his grab and dashed behind him, making my way to the other side of the room. It took a lot of energy to move my feet through the ooze on the ground, but it was possible. The Stand jerked around to continue facing me, and began walking to my new location.
     I wonder... If it passes through everything, how can it walk on the floor like that? I thought on it for a second while I caught my breath. Its feet must be able to touch things like its hands can. Which means that its feet are another weak point. I wonder what will happen if I can trip it? But... How do I get close without being attacked?
     My visitor said something to me in a nearly silent voice.
     "I think you already know how."
     Suddenly, I felt something. I can't explain to anyone, much less to the reader, what it felt like. It burned in me- A passion, a determination, an anger and an excitement all rolled into a single emotion, a single sensation that was filling my body. This was the feeling of courage. This was the feeling of bravery that every true hero holds in their heart. The feeling that there would always be a way, even when I couldn't see it. We were going to pull through. And it didn't matter what happened to me here, as long as I didn't spend the last few moments of my life cowering in fear. It was at that moment that I swore something to myself. Never again, I began silently, Never again will I allow myself to be such a coward!
     And I felt the words I thought I'd never say again rise up in my throat, and I shouted them out into the room.
     "Hierophant Green!"
     Perfectly on command, my Stand was there next to me. We briefly shared an ecstatic glance, before turning back to the battle at hand.
     Alright, Hierophant, I started telling my Stand. Just grab his feet and pull him down. Don't back off if you get hurt, I want that Stand to hit the ground. Got it? My Hierophant nodded and quickly stretched himself into some kind of cord-like form. Been a while, hasn't it? I smirked. But he hasn't lost his touch.
     As Hierophant Green wrapped himself around the enemy's feet, I felt my sides get seared a bit. My arms were getting seared too, but I still couldn't feel them and I didn't entirely care at this point. My Stand threw the enemy to the ground. It fully materialized itself to avoid falling into the floor. Exactly the mistake I was hoping for. My Stand quickly followed up with the attack by wrapping his string-like body around the enemy's throat and tying him to the wall. If he tried to phase through Hierophant, he would phase through the wall as well, and it seemed like he really didn't want to do that. So we held him there, tying his hands down too.
     "H- How?" I heard Void's voice growl. "How... How did you get your Stand back? And who were you talking to?!"
     "As if I'd tell you," I sneered. "The tables have turned on this fight, Void. You're not going to be pushing us around anymore." I smiled at Hierophant. "We're together again. And because of that, we're much stronger than you'll ever be."
     "You fool!" The Void growled. "This doesn't change anything! All you've done is give yourself false hope. You'll see... Your worthless 'power' is nothing compared to me, Kakyoin!"
     I shrugged with a smirk. "Mine? Maybe not. But I can hear the fear in your voice when you think about what we can both do. You're trembling where you stand."
     At this, I had Hierophant whip the enemy Stand's head with one of his cords. The Stand was knocked out instantly and melted away into a black cloud of smoke. As soon as it happened, my hands, shoulders, and all my wounds returned to normal, with the nerves and skin intact. I smiled at Hierophant for a moment, speechless, until grabbing him and wrapping him in a hug- A gesture he gladly returned.
We're reunited.
     "I won't leave you again," I promised him. "Never again."