My Brightest Moon

She's my cousin. My bestfriend. My comforter. My shoulder. My protector.

Her dream was seeing me walking down the aisle while she's waiting there- at the altar, my maid of honor. And right now I'm walking in an aisle but not in a church but in a cemetery. Binibisita ko ngayon ang pinsan at the same time bestfriend ko. As I saw her gravestone, tumulo agad ang mga luha ko. Humiga ako katabi ng kanyang lapida at hinimas-himas ito.

Today is her death anniversary. I close my eyes and started to reminisce the memories that she left. The days when she's happy playing with her cat and dogs while I'm busy making our snacks.

She's a very wise person for me. A consistent honor student, but as they say a person who is wise at school is stupid and ignorant outside the school.

A talented person, she knows how to dance and sing but she doubted herself.

I remember how she smile in front of the camera holding her certificate but when the camera's lenses is out of focus, she cry.

I remember how we shared our dreams. How we promise to reach those dreams together.

"Ate, what's your dream?" She asked me while looking at the sky.

"Di ko na maalala eh, dapat tinanong mo yan kanina pang umaga." Alam ko naman kung ano yung sinasabi niya, I'm just trying to lighten up her mood.

"Gaga." She laugh. A laugh that has a mixture of sadness.

"To become a nurse someday. How about you, Yana?" Tumingin na rin ako sa langit.

"I want to be happy. I want everyone to be happy without minding others."

"Promise me I'm going to be you're maid of honor, okay?" Tumingin na siya sa akin.

"I promise." Tumayo siya't pinagpagan ang kanyang sarili.

"Ano kayang itsura mo kapag naka-nurse outfit ka na? Eh diba fit yun tapos, no offend ah pero mataba ka kaya, di ka na makahinga? At ayokong nahihirapan ka." Bipolar.

"Talaga bang concern ka? Bully. And I'm on reducing diet tomorrow, hello!"

"Tomorrow? Why not now?" I smile and started walking slowly away from her.

"Menudo ang ulam eh." Sigaw ko at tumakbo para maunahan ko siyang makarating sa bahay.

I remember the days when she cried under the rain just to cover her tears.

I can also remember the day that she told me everything that she thought is the start of her happiness but it is the opposite of her expectations.

She was sitting at her favorite spot, right next to a tree. The tree became her second bestfriend, she cry beside the tree, she hugs it, or even talk to it. She even named it Mr. Tree.

Naglakad ako papalapit sa kanya.

"Hindi ba sumasakit leeg mo?" Napalingon siya sa akin pero agad ding bumalik sa posisyon niya kanina.

"I don't know. I didn't feel anything at all." She look happy these past few months and it's much better.

"What's in the sky that prompted you to stare at it almost everyday?" Umupo ako katabi niya at humarap din ako sa langit.

"That sky is my dad. Those clouds are my friends. The sun that's our grandparents and aunts and uncles. The stars are my cousins. The moon is me."

"Why moon?"

"Have you experienced to stare at it? It has so many craters that made it imperfect but that craters made it more beautiful. I think every youth is a moon that needs a sun to light up the night and maybe someday we will become a sun." Tiningnan ko siya at inakbayan, ipinatong naman niya ang kanyang ulo sa aking balikat.