the end of the f*****g world || nomin

Chapter 1

      I remember the first time I killed an animal, a grey squirrel I had managed to capture in my backyard. The power that I held in my 9 year old hands gave me a rush of adrenaline, it gave me the sense of entitlement, knowing I had been the one to end it's life. I was thrilled, my mum flipped when she saw the red liquid from the squirrel dripping from my hands unto the white carpet that covered the living room my family home.

"Jesus Christ Jeno, you're going to stain the carpet." She exclaimed, "why are you covered in blood?"

"I killed a squirrel."

My mother shook her head as she grabbed a damp paper towel and wiped my hands, the red liquid leaving behind a red stain.

"You shouldn't joke about that sweetheart, people will think you are some sort of a psychopath."

Psychopath is a word I use to describe myself I guess. The final thing that clicked in my head that would cement that label, was when the day my mother died almost a year later and my father told me, I didn't even really care. His tear filled eyes, puffy face and crackly voice didn't even make a dent in the steel wall that enclosed my brain. At the funeral people patted my head and turned to my dad to say how brave I was being. It's not hard to be brave when you don't feel anything.

Animal killing had sustained me for a bit, killing anything I could get my hands on eventually got boring. I have set my targets on something bigger and better. The hum of the cafeteria I'm sitting in is blocked out by the music flowing through the AirPods my father got me on a random day in the summer. Having a dead mother really comes in handy when guilt tripping you're father. It's not like I care about school, why would I when I already know everything I need to know. However I don't want any suspicions raised and no one ever notices the quite kid in the back when trying to solve a murder. I don't really have any friends and never cared to, they will only get in my way. I almost made it another day without drawing any student who is trying to be the school hero and befriend the sad looking kid when a lanky boy in a red cardigan stops in front of the table I'm sitting at, his hands crossed over his chest.

"Are you one of those people who think listening to The Beatles makes you superior to everyone else?" He says once he sees I've removed an AirPod.

"I don't think so?"

"Good," he paused for a second and looks at the skateboard in the seat next to me, "I've seen you skating and I think you're pretty shit."

"Excuse me?" Who is this kid and why does he seem like he's trying to pick a fight?

"I said you're pretty shit at skating but I guess I'll just have to deal with it because you're my only option right now."

"What do you mean?"

The kid standing in front of me breaks into a small grin, he looks like a good enough person to kill.

"Well you see, while you were sitting over here I just smashed my phone in front of that cult over there." He motions his head to a table where a group of preppy dressed girls were sitting, texting away on their phones.

"So you don't have a phone?" Him not having a phone would make it one step easier on disposition of his body.

"Not anymore," he sat down in front of me, "is that an issue?"

I shook my head before holding up my iPod touch that I only carried around to play music. The boy smiled and the bell rang to dismiss us from lunch. He rolled his eyes before jumping out of the uncomfortable cafeteria bench and throwing his backpack onto his back.

"I'm Jaemin by the way."

"Jeno."

He nodded his head before turning on his heels and starting the walk to his next class. Definitely a good target.