Falling in love with two of her close friends wasn't what Blake expected for her first year in public school. She wasn't scared to tell Isaiah she loved him because he loved her back but she was scared to tell Dina about her feelings because Dina's...
I'm tired of being alone. I just want someone who will understand me and understands what i'm going through.
My mom is barely home and there's no one else here living with us. Im basically alone. I have no friends because i'm homeschooled so it's just me. The only thing i have is this notebook to write down everything that i'm feeling.
Sometimes i don't even know what i'm feeling. It's like i can't explain it but it doesn't matter though because i have no one to talk to. I'm always in bed doing nothing.
So that's why i decided to buy this book so i could write down everything and so that in the future i could look back and see how much i've grown up.
I'm hoping to make new friends if that's even possible for me. Tomorrow is the start of my first day in high school. I've never been in a public school so i really don't know what it's like.
This might be my first chance to meet someone who actually cares for me and understands what i'm going through. But my problem is i'm so awkward around people and i'm always scared i'm gonna say the wrong thing.
But anyways i can't sleep. It's now 3:15 am and i have to wake up at 6 am. But i'm used to going to sleep really late so that won't be a problem for me.
I've been going to this hill by my house and i just sit alone and watch the sky. I usually go late at night when i can't sleep which is basically everyday. I found it recently so i've only gone a few times.
I've never seen anyone around there but it's so beautiful. And right next to it is a park so sometimes i just go on the swing and look up. It sounds pretty boring but i enjoy it.
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2 hours later
"fuck" i said out loudly
It's almost 5 am and i still haven't gotten any sleep and i have to get dressed in about an hour. I have to go home and go to sleep so i could get at least some sleep even tho it's not a lot.
I walked home and i went to bed. It took me a while to go to sleep cause i don't go to sleep easily. But then as soon as i was getting good sleep my alarm rang.
5:00 am I got up and the first thing i did was go in my closet and pick out an outfit. I definitely wanna wear my fishnets like always. But what else.
I sat there for a while looking through my clothes and i decided on my white oversized hoodie and some black shorts with my vans. Simple but cute.
I got in the shower washed my hair and did everything i had to do. Once i got out the shower i moisturized my face and did my hair. I left my hair down the way i always do it. Then i put my clothes on and did my makeup.
I don't do much to my face cause i don't really care how i look. I just put winged eye liner and put some light freckles on my face. I checked the time and it was 6:00. I had an hour left to do whatever.
I decided to go back to the area i was at before. I grabbed my book bag with my phone and put my headphones in. I walked to the place and i played my music on soundcloud and watched the sun rise.
I decided to post some pictures on instagram that i took earlier. I had kind of a good following on there for some reason. I think people just like my aesthetic. I finally thought of a good caption and posted my picture.
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——————————————————————————— liked by wifisfuneral and 13,996 others blakehomie tell me baby have you ever seen a demon?
view all 230 comments wifisfuneral so now you quoting my songs? hmm 🙈❤️ blakehomie @/wifisfuneral that doesn't mean i like you tho
I knew he was gonna comment on my picture. He's always commenting flirty headass things on my post but i kinda like it. And he's not that bad looking. But i've never met him in real life but ik he lives around me.
I put my phone away and continued to listen to my music. As i was listening to music i see a girl sit next to the swing i'm on. I looked at her and i noticed how pretty she looked. She had big brown curly hair and she wore purple eyeshadow with black winged eyeliner.
She was wearing a black and white striped t shirt and black jeans. I really liked her outfit and i felt my face getting hot. But i didn't know why. Should i say something i thought to myself. I decided not to and i just continued playing my music but very low.
"hi my names Dina" she said
"hi um my name is Blake. I'm sorry i could leave if you want. I got up but she grabbed my arm.
"no it's fine i don't want you to leave. Sorry for grabbing your arm."
"It's fine" i sat back down and there was an awkward silence between us. I just went back on my phone and she was just looking at me.
"i've never seen you here do you come here often?"
"i recently started coming here but i only come really late at night when i can't sleep. Recently i've been going everyday."
"oh that's cool. I come here mostly in the morning before i go to school or sometimes i skip school and just come here to escape."
"i come here to escape too and because i don't like being home alone all day." this conversation is going good but i feel nervous around her and i don't know why.
"do you live by yourself?"
"yes but no. I live with my mom but she's at work all the time so it's basically just me all the time."
"same for me"
I looked down at my phone to check the time and it's 6:45. I should start walking to school because i don't wanna be late. But i really don't wanna end the conversation
"i'm sorry but i have to start going to school but it was nice talking to you."
"i have to start going too but what school do you go to"
"i just starting going to the one around the block" should i really be telling her where i go to school?
"i go there too i'll walk with you if that's fine with you"
"um yeah of course." We both started walking together and i was getting even more nervous
"so do you have an instagram"
"yeah of course i do it's @blakehomie"
"okay i followed you"
As we were walking to school we made some small talk but it was mostly just quiet with the two of us. We finally arrived at school and it just looked like a normal school. Nothing different.
Dina led me to the office and from there we got our schedule. For the most classes we had we were in the same class. This was good because i at least had someone i know in my classes even tho we just got to know each other.
But i have a big feeling that me and her are gonna become close friends.
~ this took me a while to write because i had no motivation but i stayed up one day and forced myself to do it and i finally posted it. hope you enjoy!
