Heartbeat

Twenty-Two

Second Sunday Update!

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EMMA

The drive home from the hospital seemed like one of the longest of my life. I’d managed to convince Dad and Logan that I was well enough to go home, although I had to promise not to go to school in the morning, and I said goodbye to everyone who had waited at the hospital with me as Jordan led me to his father’s car.

We drove slowly through Newport and I suspected that Jordan was only doing it so he could spend more time with me, not that I minded, of course. I loved spending time with him, and now that almost all my secrets had been spilt, things were more comfortable between us.

“Can you pull up here, please?” I ask Jordan as I point to a parking lot near the outskirts of town.

Jordan gave me a skeptical look from the corner of his eye and I knew that he was already breaking his promise to my dad, but he still followed my directions and soon enough we were parked in the parking lot that led up to the walking trail that runs around Newport.

We sit quietly for a moment. I watch him as he starts to wring his palms together, sweat dripping down his forehead and his face red, almost looking like he was having a panic attack himself. I laughed involuntarily, gaining a worried look from Jordan in the process.

I bit my lip, not knowing exactly where to start with this conversation. I was on unfamiliar ground having a boy love me, and I had no idea how to approach things. Did I just assume that we were dating, or did we have to make it official? I look at Jordan and it occurs to me that we’re both inexperienced when it comes to relationships.

“So,” I began, letting out a long sigh while trying to fill in the silence. “You love me, huh?”

Jordan turns to me, his lips quirked up in a bright smile. “Yes, I do.”

I process his answer, before finding the words myself. “I love you, too.”

Another smile.

“What exactly does this mean?” My voice shakes as I ask, and I’m sure that I sounded like a four year old. “I mean, where do we stand?”

Jordan’s face contorts and he looks away from me. Crap, I’ve said the wrong thing. Or doesn’t he want to be with me? Oh, my God, that’s it. He doesn’t want to be with me.

I feel tears sting at my eyes, and I fight to keep my emotions in check, but as I turn away from Jordan, I feel the droplets creep down my face, rivers weaving down to the corner of my mouth, the salty taste turning my stomach.

“Hey,” Jordan’s voice is barely a whisper, and I feel his hand at my face, turning me to look at him. “Why are you crying?”

“Because,” I mumble through the sobs. “You don’t want me.”