dear johnny,

the day i saw you after all this time

dear johnny, 

i saw you today. in person. it felt unreal the moment we locked eyes after not seeing and talking to each other for almost 11 years. your mom and i planned the gathering of so many people who have supported you since day one to show you how much you are loved and adored back home. it took my breath away and made my heart swell with how happy you looked when you walked off the bus and saw everyone waiting to see you. you looked so happy.

i missed seeing you happy. sure you are happy and giggly on camera, but this is the authentic johnny happiness that i grew up seeing all the time and came to love. 

i may be imagining this, but after you hugged your mom, i could have sworn you were looking for me. you looked at everyone in the crowd until the moment our eyes locked. you dropped your bag and jacket and ran full speed at me. i was already a crying mess seeing you so overwhelmed with happiness, but seeing you being excited to see me, made me cry even more.

you basically tackled me in the biggest bear hug imaginable and we almost tumbled to the ground because of how much force you came at me with. it was so nice to finally be able to wrap my arms around you again. the last hug we shared was the day you left. i missed you so much. i missed the way you pick me up and twirl me around while giggling. i miss the way we sway on our feet after you twirl me. 

we probably stayed like that for at least 10 minutes. people were staring but at that moment, nothing else mattered. i'm pretty sure your mom took photos of us. i'll have to ask her to send me those later on.

after everyone saw you and went their ways, your dad came out to say the food was almost ready so we made our way into your house. you introduced me to the other members of your group and it was cute how mark said you never shut up about me and the other guys chimed in about it as well. when your mom was talking to you, mark came over and told me that you ask your mom how i am all the time and wish to talk to me. he says he's caught you in the act several times and that you get all embarrassed and say you miss me. mark really exposed your ass, suh. 

but it's okay. i love hearing that you think about me and miss me. i miss you everyday. i just miss you. 

your mom had all of your photos out so the boys could look at them and even get them caught on the jcc cam. i've seen them all though, thousands of times. she even had the photos out of us two growing up. 

it was so wholesome seeing you back with your family after all this time. it was like the old days again. me always at your house, just hanging out with you and your parents. 

after we ate dinner, you, mark, and doyoung decided to go on a target run. i decided that it was time for me to go back home since it was getting late and i had classes the next day. 

you offered to walk me home and i accepted. 

the walk home was nice. i'm pretty sure we both took the shortest steps possible to enjoy the time we had. it was nice just being with you. it brought back so many memories of you walking me home from school everyday. 

we finally reached my house and we hugged goodbye. you started walking backwards and i gave you a funny look. you said it was because you don't want me to stare at your ass the whole time. what can i say its america's ass? or in this case nct's ass? not funny? well i tried. 

i can't wait for the concert tomorrow to see you perform your heart out. i'm so proud of you.

with love,

taylor xx