Blind | Sana

Blind

There was a time, long ago, when Momo walked into the practice room. She thought she would have been alone, but Sana was there, sitting in the corner, organising her music for an extra hour of practice alone while she had time. When Sana heard the door creak open and the sniffles of a person in tears walk through, she stood and turned to come face to face with Momo.

At first Sana didn't know what to think. The members often went through mood swings and rough patches when the workload built up like it had been recently. Twice were preparing for a comeback, learning the choreography and getting ready for a long day of music video filming and photoshoots. Sana was struggling with the chorus choreography, so she had taken in upon herself to use her hour of free time to catch up with the others. It was a bit weird to see Momo so shaken up about it though. She was always the first to catch onto the choreography and was consistently complimented. Sana didn't understand why she would be upset. There was nothing else occupying their time until the music video shoot.

When Momo made eye contact with Sana, she looked surprised and started to wipe her red, swollen eyes immediately. She laughed shakily.

"I didn't think anyone else would be in here." She said, placing an item she had in her hand into the band of her workout tights. Sana wondered what it might have been.

It may be a surprise to some of you, but Sana isn't a comforter. She never knows what to say. And then was no exception. She had no idea in hell of what to say to Momo. Should she go to hug her? Maybe not since she was pretending to be fine. That might make it worse. Should she ask her what was wrong? No. Again, Momo would probably just dismiss her like nothing was wrong. So, instead, Sana went for the third option. Play along.

"Oh." She said, shifting slightly on her feet. "I just came in here to practice the choreography that I'm struggling with."

Momo paused for a moment, the muscles in her neck contracting and releasing several times and her jaw working away, grinding her teeth. She was holding back a sob, but she was unable to reverse the single tear that rolled down her cheek. She let out a gasping breath as she tried to reply normally.

"M-me t-too." She replied, her voice straining against the need to cry out in pain. Sana was disturbed by this, but still had no idea of how she should help.

"Y-you know what?" Momo began, her breathing jagged and harsh as she tried to speak. "How about... I h-help you?" She plastered a smile on her face. Sana thought it was ugly. Why would she try to smile when she so obviously needed to cry? It didn't look legitimate at all. Did she think it did? All Sana could see were Momo's straining eyes, her furrowed brows, her flushed cheeks, her runny nose and a mouth with what seemed like too many teeth.

But she still played along.

"Yes please." She replied, smiling eagerly.

There was a time, long ago, when Momo didn't reply to Sana's texts for a week. Sana didn't think much of it, after all, it was a little strange that they texted despite seeing each other at all hours of the day. Sana would usually text Momo what had happened in her day that she had thought was funny or memorable. She liked to have these things physically written down. Momo also liked to text back, saying that she needed more practice than just texting with Nayeon all the time.

They liked to have emoji conversations, trying in vain to figure out what the other meant. Even if these conversations on LINE weren't long or particularly meaningful, Sana held them in a special place of her heart.

When Sana had tried to strike up a conversation with Momo via text, she didn't reply. For one week. Sana would never admit it, but she had been on the edge of her seat, waiting eagerly for her friend's reply. When they would see each other throughout the day, she was tempted to ask her to check her messages or to ask her what was going on, but she didn't because she knew that it was probably nothing. They conversed in person all the time anyway.