Glasgow Kiss

Chapter 1

Day 1: 9.00 AM Edinburgh

It was a fucking job.

Just a job.

Just a stepping stone out of this mire of mediocrity and heap of steaming shit he currently called his life.

Yet as the cab pulled up to the curb in front of the dull nondescript looking headquarters that could have been mistaken for a fucking accountancy firm of all things Malcolm Tucker did his best to try and look on the bright side. He was at least going to be paid for shovelling this steaming pile of shit unlike the damn pro-bono work he had being juggling in a faint and distant hope of resurrecting his once glittering career.

That single bright spark lasted just long enough for him to step out of the cab into the drizzle and into the fucking biggest puddle Malcolm had seen since the pissing contest at the party conference.

Socks squelching as he stepped up to the building and buzzed for entry Malcolm tried his best to keep the disgust from his face. Yet he was no bloody bollocking saint and only a saint would find the strength to hide his contempt for these people. He was only here as a favour to Jamie, or was it more like as Jamie's favour to him?

There were times when Malcolm was able to forget for a moment just how far he had fallen, how his name that once left Politicians and News editors quaking in their polyester suits now was the butt of half of the joke's in Westminster. Well they would be laughing on the other side of their faces eventually, in the meantime Malcolm had to eat, had to pay bills and that human necessity had brought him here...

Feigning a smile as he was finally greeted, effusively even, all young bright eager smiles. And so they bloody well should smile. Malcolm went into automatic schmooze mode, handshake, joke, handshake, smile, earnest nodding.

These lowly bunch off pissants were once the political pond scum that old Malcolm would have wiped off his chin before breakfast.

Dear God even their bloody campaign material was enough to make his eyes bleed. Yet Malcolm somehow found it in himself to force a smile even though the edges were more than a little sharp.

'Just say Yes'

What sort of dumn fuck came up with that slogan? It sounded like the ad slogan for the pro-drug and sexual deviancy community. Well it didn't fucking matter how crap it was it wasn't like Malcolm was here to actually help them win now was it?

"Just keep an eye on them. Nobody expects them to win, the opinion polls say the No's have it in the bag but we could do without any nasty surprises." Were Jamie's cryptic instructions, "After all we all know the result people wish to see."

Which when ran through Tucker translation service equated to sink this bloody boat and make it look like a fucking accident. Suicide would be preferable of course and judging by this bunch of wet behind the ears muppets that should be the easier than giving out free wanks at a whore's birthday party.

It was kiddy stuff, well below a man of his many talents but fine if that's how the bumfucks at headquarters wanted to play it then Malcolm was not beyond a little debasing himself if it got him the payoff he was owed! He had already more than earned that job as global communications lead for said "anonymous" international news and telecommunications organisation. He had paid for it in years of blood sweat and tears given in service to the last bunch of bastards.

But fine if they wanted to jerk his chain one last time he would bend over the desk and take it.

Take it and fucking smile while they used him one last time, and it would be the last fucking time.

Yet as his jaw started to ache from the unnatural falseness of holding a smile this long Malcolm was finally ushered into an empty conference room and he could allow his smile to fade to the more natural scowl he usually wore. There was being used and then there was being used and never in his entire career had Malcolm Tucker be brought this low...