Reasons & Roses

Reasons and Roses

She should've opted for the all girls dormitory.

Seriously, she should have chosen those pretentious rooms with petty girls wondering about what they should wear tomorrow, talking about boys, squealing and shouting at some noontime show with guys in drag and a girl who won't talk but keeps on smiling at that bedimpled guy.

But who cares about those? Not her. In fact, she hates those girls with passion. Sobrang aarte, my goodness. Mas pinoproblema ang ganda kaysa grades.

That's why she's stuck here in a small dorm with Psych freshie, an assistant professor, and the VetMed major who is currently packing her things and leaving before the sem starts. May friend daw na naghahanap ng roommate sa bahay at dun nalang daw siya.

Technically it's just her and Psych freshie here. The assistant professor spends a whole lot of her time at her boyfriend's house, doing lessons. Let's leave it at that, lessons.

She hates her Psych-freshie-dorm-mate-slash-bunkbed-mate, and it's not just because he's bedimpled. No, she has her reasons why she hates RJ.

(Put another sentence that leads to this list. I suggest)

I. RJ can't cook.

First day during her dorm transfer, this is what she discovers.

It's always up to her to create meals for them. He did try to help one time, and both regretted it. RJ is a disaster in the kitchen, not even being able to fry a simple egg or hotdog properly. He knows how to boil water, though. And makes noodles, cup noodles. He'd probably live on those if she wasn't here.

He's always the one to wash the dishes though. And Maine is thankful to be off from the chore she hates the most.

Maine thinks, if he won't cook, then he might not kill them both after all.

II. RJ is stingy.

In payment for her cooking services, RJ decided that he buys the groceries. Maine joins him since he doesn't know anything about fresh meat and veggies. For a straight guy (she asked, for adjustment and all that) he's got a grocery list. Ang lakas maka-nanay bes! Sinong nag-gogrocery ng may listahan? He follows it religiously as well.

Yun talaga kase yung nakakainis. Wala daw sa listahan yung Mikmik at Hawhaw.

But he ends up buying a pack of Nips, because it's in the list. She may or may not end up shouting at him in the candy aisle. It was early in the morning, no college student in their right minds (in their own abnormal way) would wake up for a grocery run. Good thing there was no staff near them as well. Nakakahiya.

Maine buys her own Mikmik and Hawhaw, and contemplates on whether she should add poison to his meal that she's cooking.

III. RJ is patient.

Cheret, ako ang may sakit.

Three hours after the first week of exams ended, Maine decided to de-stress. Her way of de-stressing includes a gallon of ice cream, venti frappe and her version of chicken and beer. Only her version is a Crazy-good Cheesy Chicken-nuggets (as RJ named it) and some cheap beer. Of course it included a marathon of Assassination Classroom, to which RJ complained because she was laughing so hard at 1 am but ended up watching with her.

It was a new day when they slept, then boom, the sickness hit her like a bullet train when she woke up. It was the worst combination ever:: Trangkaso x Dinosaur.

Nightmare bes.

Yung sakit ng ulo niya di niya sure kung dahil sa sipon or puson or dahil nga kase nawawala si RJ sa tabi niya.

"Jaaaayyy. Huuug."
"Teka yung mainit na tubig mo."
"Mamaya na yaaan. Huuug na please."
"Masusunog 'to."

But he turns off the stove and comes to bed. Hugging the pain out and massaging her stomach.

"Inom ka na ng gamot."
"Ayaw."
"Kain ka muna oh."
"Noodles na naman?"
"Hinde ah, sopas to."
"Nagluto ka?"
"Ininit ko lang. Binili ko yan kanina."
"Ayaw pa rin."
"Maine kain na. Para maka-inom ka na ng gamot."
"Ayoko RJ. Ayoko naa. Ang sakit. Gusto ko nang mamatay. Ayoko na tanginaaaa."
"HUY!"
"RJ! AYOKO NAAAA."

She kept on whining and whining but eventually he made Maine eat, drink her medicine and lull her back to sleep.

He didn't even get mad when she asked him irrational questions and made some out-of-this world requests.

"RJ."
"Ano?"
"Tao ka ba?"
"Ah oo naman. Bakit?"
"Wala naninigurado lang."
"Okay."
"Para ka kaseng marshmallow."

I think he looked at me funny but I was really making sure. He's too good to be true.

"RJ"
"Meng"
"Bakit ka nagpsych?"
"Sabi ni Mommy magaling daw akong bumasa ng tao. Saka gusto ko rin yun."
"So nabasa mo ko?"
"Huh?"
"Anong basa mo sakin nung una tayong magkita?"
"Yung totoo?"
"Hindi yung joke lang. Syempre yung totoo anuba."

I didn't hear what he said. He just whispered it in my hair. Hello iisa-isahin ko na bang iinterviewhin yung mga hibla ng buhok ko?

I may have already been feeling fine after two days. But he doesn't know that. Yet.

"RJ."
"Oh."
"Buhat."
"Ha?"
"Buhat mo ko dali. Parang superman."
"Ambigat mo eh."
"Sige naaa. Buhat gang banyo."

He didn't make me fly, but his bridal style made the butterflies in my stomach did.

IV. RJ sleeps and wakes up early.

"Marathon tayong Shoukugeki no Soma?"
"Maine, may pasok bukas. Anime nanaman?"
"Osige yung gusto mo nalang. Ano, Harry Potter nalang. Kahit alin dun. Dali andun love of your life."
"7am ka pa bukas Meng. Wag mo na idamay si Hermione Granger dito."
"Ayoko pang matulog. Samahan mo kami ni Emma dito."
"Iisa lang sila. Wag na kase. Bahala ka dyan. Goodnight."

It's 8 in the evening. That guy. Ah, ohwell. Yukihira Soma and his cooking awaits.

"Di ka pa natutulog?"
"Ha?"
"Alas kwatro na."
"Ah. Good morning!"
"Sira ka. Timpla kitang kape sige na awat na yan. 2 hours nap, gisingin kita mamaya, dali na pahinga na."
"Last episode."
"Meng."
"RJ."
"Meng isa."
"Meng dalawa." She replied.
"Sige na Meng pahinga ka na. Aantayin niyang si Soma. Dun ka na sa kama ko kung gusto mo."

And Maine obligies because his bed smells like heaven. Seriously, she knows they had availed of the same laundry services but his smells better everytime. Not that she sleeps here when he's in class, no she doesn't do that. Their room doesn't have cctv cameras for evidence.

V. RJ is an eyeturner.

It was one symposium lecture they both needed to attend. She needed it for one subject (you never knew how much additional points you might need to pass) and he's required to attend because it was a Psychologist that's speaking and that's kinda what he's supposed to be in the future. She thanks the heavens there are no seat plans. Her bad luck in those get her beside sleeping seniors or snobbish sophomores. But even if there's no seating arrangements, there's RJ.

Who freakin chose to sit in the middle, right where the speaker can see him. Maine dragged him out and sat them at the back. You're with me, my rules. I tell him. He just smiles, albeit confused.

Ngumiti ka nanaman, may namatay nanamang bituin sa langit at napunta sa mga ngiti mo. Konti pa mauubos mo na sila, lagot ka sa NASA.

Maine regretted bringing him at the back the moment class started. Or just sitting beside him, really.

Model student. That is what he is. Literally and figuratively. While she may have just wanted to doodle the three hours of torture, he spends it exercising his hand and throat muscles. Reciting, participating, being perfect. Gwapo na nga, active pa.

And every time our professor asks a question, everyone turns to them. Him, rather, I'll just be a little potato sitting beside him. Most girls don't even return their eyes to the presentation.

They even crowd him after class.

"Anong ulam lulutuin mo mamaya?" He asks, unaware of the women coming right at us. Juskolord, sana makawala pa kami mamaya.

"Hm. Ano ba gusto mo?"
"Fried chicken tayo. Buffalo wings. Yun."
"Una sa lahat wala tayong ingredients ano po? Tsaka hello di ba tayo busy?"
"Dali na. Tara sa supermarket."

We almost got free. Almost.

"Ay hi Mr. Faulkerson." Ay beh, tatay niya yun.
"Ay tatay ko si Mr. Faulkerson."
"Funny ka ha. Edi hi Richard."
"Hello."
"Naglalaro ka ba?"
"Ng ano?"
"Ano. Ng ano." Hala, tawa pa siya. Beh, college na tayo ane? Harot harot. GWA bago jowa uy.
"Hindi ako player eh. Sorry. Sige ha."
"Ay may orientation kami mamaya sa org, punta ka ha?" Hala? Eh soro kayo ah?
"Try ko. Medyo busy eh."
"Punta ka na. Free food naman. Tsaka drinks. Masaya yun. Ha?" Excuse me, mas masarap ang luto ko sa free food niyo.

Sasabat na sana ko't sasabunutan ang kehaharot na mga babaeng ito kaso hinila na niya kamay ko. Nakalimutan ko na lahat. Sino nga ulit ako?

"Huy san tayo?"
"Supermarket. Buffalo wings. Tas Hunter X Hunter marathon. Nakabili akong freshmilk kanina. Ayos ba?"

Hindi ko alam kung gusto ko nang mamatay o pakasalan ang lalaking to. Pakaperfect.

"Dabes. Bes."
"Besbes?"
"Ampanget RJ. Nakakahiya ako."

Trivia about RJ, he laughs with his body. As in parang lahat gumagalaw. And since hawak parin niya kamay ko, ayun, kawawang braso. Kawawa rin ang puso ko.

"RJ iho!" May nadaanan kaming Lola, na apparently bff ata netong si RJ. Kaloka.
"Lola! Hello po."
"Bili na kayo."
"Ano po yang natinda niyo Lola?"
"Ay yema. Sing tamis niyong dalawa ng gelpren mo."
"Hala Lola!"

Bitaw. Ang hybrid ng sitaw at bataw. Channeling my inner Spongecola right now, WAG KANG BIBITIW BIGLA WAG KANG BIBITIW BIGLA-A-AH

Ganoin.

VI. RJ goes home on weekends. Sometimes.

It is sad, because his home is like a bus ride away (malapit na yun, in probinsya terms) and hers is just a plane throw away.

More like, ikutin mo muna ang mundo and magkandaligaw-ligaw sa mga bansa hanggang mahanap mo ang mga magulang mong lagalag at nagsesecond honeymoon around the world.

So she ends up catching up with her marathons alone while he's at home with his family. But she gets to sleep on his bed so she can't really complain.

"Sara mo yung pinto pag aalis ka na ha." She reminded him as he packs his bag.

"Sama ka kaya?"
"Ha?"
"Sama ka sa bahay."
"Hala siya."
"Dali seryoso ako. Birthday kase ng kapatid ko ngayon. May swimming kami, sama ka na."
"Ano ko party crasher?"
".. Ayan oh tinext ko na si Mommy. Sige na dali."

In the end, he packs my bag and brings me to wherever he's supposed to go.

VII. RJ = OA

"Meng meng meng bakit ka ba natutulog?"
"Inaantok ako anuba."
"Meng ang ganda ng view dali."
"Hhmm. Maya na."

RJ brought her to paradise and she wasn't prepared. Para bang aksidente kang pinatay tas wala ka pang last will and testament. Okaya yung gyera tas wala kang baril. Ganoin.

"Bakit di mo sinabi! Wala akong damit!"
"Luh. Ano to?" He showed her backpack he carried on his left shoulder.
"Di mo naman sinabing pupunta tayong beach. Beach to! Beach!"
"Birthday nga ng kapatid ko diba? Tsaka -"
"Tsaka ano? Wag mong sabihing sainyo to?"
"Osige hindi nalang."
"Paampon. Please."
"Meng ano ba wag kang naluhod dyan. Lika na, andun sila mommy sa loob."

Meeting his family was a blur. Everyone was busy and whatnot. The birthday celebrant's a little kid who got real happy when she gave him a Happy Meal toy - I took the Hotwheels toy out the plastic and wrapped it in a box. I ate the chicken nuggets meal tho. He doesn't need to know that, madami na siyang handa.

Mostly, Maine's mind is outside. The beach is calling her. The waves are so inviting, the sun shines and all she just wanted is to run towards them. But alas, RJ had his hand at her back.

Dapat kinikilig ako kase ang intimate ng gesture, all gentlemanly and such pero puro beach lang nasa utak ko.

beach beach beach beach

Ang natatandaan ko lang marami siyang kapatid. As in sampu? Sipag beh. Tas may 3 pa siyang half-sibs dun sa unang asawa ng tatay niya na namatay. At may plano daw silang magampon.

Ako nalang po pls. Dito ko titira lilinisin ko ang bahay ipagluluto ko kayo. Ampunin niyo na po ako.

"Happy family ah. Paampon nga."
"Wag. Ayaw kitang kapatid no. Kadiri. EW."
"Maka EW ka ha!"
"Wag na Meng. Di naman masaya ang malaking pamilya."
"Drama. Di mo sila close?"
"Parang ganun. Laging nakakaligtaan. Kaya nga kita sinama dito eh. Kung hindi malamang nagmumukmok nanaman ako sa kwarto neto."
"Magbabasa ng Harry Potter?"
"Oo."
"So ano ko ngayon dito, entertainment mo? Kailangan ba sasayaw na ko?"

Pinagtawanan lang yung dance moves ko. Hoy. Pinakuluan yan sa pressure cooker langya to.

"Oh ayan tsinelas." We entered a beach store. Hay salamat may tinitindang swimwear.

"Huy. Ano yan?"
"Bikini RJ. Ano sa tingin mo? Baro't saya?"
"Wag na. May rashguard si Ate kasya sayo yun."
"Ha? Una ayoko manghiram. Pangalawa, rashguard? Ew no."
"Yan lang isusuot mo?"
"De magjjogging pants pa saka turtleneck. Syempre ito lang. Beach nga eh. Beach!"
"Two piece talaga?"
"Ikaw nga trunks lang eh. Oh one piece lang yun."
"Two piece din. Tshirt and shorts. I don't swim."
"Hello anong ginagawa mo sa beach? Nagbabasa nanaman ng Harry Potter jusko."
"Hoy grabe makainsulto ha. Si Hermione yon. Mahal ko yon."
"Beach to RJ. Respeto naman. Mahal ko to. Tsaka saka mo na ko sabihan ng ganyan pag naampon niyo na ko at kuya na kita ok?" I pinched his cheeks for emphasis.

He mumbled something I didn't catch but let me buy a new pair of bikini.

"Sa bahay ka na magpalit. Kain daw muna tayo bago magswimming."

VIII. RJ is a HUGE fan.

I first thought that this house was just for family reunions and gatherings but RJ really spent his younger years beside the beach.

And he doesn't care.

All he cared about is this room. His room. Or more accurately, his shrine to everything Harry Potter. Maine have read the books and watched the movies and she loves them but she has never been as dedicated as he is.

There's another hardbound set of all the seven books, which is different from what he has in their room. Dalawang hardbound bes. Set bes. Set.

His wall was hand painted with Harry Potter quotes, he did that himself, he proudly proclaims. A huge poster from the WWOHP serves as his curtain. There's also a framed photo of him and Hermione's wax figure like the freaking fanboy he is. Beside it is Hermione's wand in a glass display case.

Did I mention his Quidditch sheets? It's green though, so Slytherin. Huh, thought he was a Hufflepuff. But I can understand, always too good to be true. He can easily fool you. Also irresistibly charming.

"Ikaw na ang goals."
"Huh bakit?"
"Look. Most guys our age, or younger, have posters of cars, basketball players or even nude women. Hindi si Hermione Granger. Ang mahal ng luho mo."

I tried to explain as clear as I can from the other side of his bathroom door. At habang nagbibihis narin ako. Oha, multitasker kaya ako.

"Pagsalitaan mo pa siya ng ganyan di ka makalabas dyan kala mo."
"At talagang ipagtatanggol mo pa siya RJ ha."
"Walang basagan ng trip Meng. Hindi kita inaano sa mga asawa mo dyan ha."
"Inaano inaano? Yung mga asawa ko, tanggap kong fictional. Anime characters sila. Madami. Hindi ko sinasamba tulad mo. Wala rin akong malaking picture ni Hermione sa kama."
"Isang picture lang yon."
"Mosaic yun ng lahat ng screenshot mo sakanya sa buong 8 movies RJ. Ang tyaga mo at ikaw pa gumastos magpaprint. Grabe ka hoy."

Kala ko nagtampo na yun pala may kausap sa may pinto. Kamukha niya ng very light, pero hindi tisoy. Eto halatang nagbebeach.

"Sinasabi ko sayo RJ. Kakain na sa baba, sa dining. Birthday na. Mamaya na kayo magkainan ng maganda mong girlfriend. Tiis tiis muna."
"Oo na kuya. Bye! ... SUSMARYOSEP."

He waved at me and left. That's when RJ turned and immediately took his Quidditch comforter and wrapped it around me. What. The. Hell.

"Ano ba RJ. Magsswimming ako hindi matutulog."
"Eh jusko naman Meng. Di ka pwedeng bumaba ng ganyan dun. Andaming tao."
"Sinasabi mo bang panget ako-"
"Hindi ah. Medyo yung ibang kamag-anak ko, basta. Eto."

He hands her a wizard's robe.

"Kay Hermione yan."
"RJ floor length to RJ. Tsaka hello alam kong mahal to at sinasamba mo yan baka pinapantulog mo pa. Wala ka bang malaking tshirt? Yung hindi Harry Potter related sana ano?"
"Eh kasi naman eh. Teka. Oh yan."

He hands me an old white shirt that says CU. It also has his faded name at the back, RJ Faulkerson, and the number 02.

"CU. Copper?"
"Third year section. Tara na. Baka kung ano nang naikwento ni Kuya Sam."

I can't help but ask him as we make our way to their dining area. Kelaki naman kasing bahay neto. Infairness, malaki namang pamilya.

"So, sino palang shiniship mo kay Hermione? Ron? Harry? Or Draco? Teka baka si Snape or Voldy ha."
"Hmm. Ganito kase yun no. Ron is the canon choice. Medyo pang hopeless romantic with the whole arguing best friends thing. Harry is more sensible, since they have quite similar qualities pero minsan nakikita as siblings. Draco naman, pang matapang ganun..."

He continues his vast wisdom with Hermione's ships until we reach the dining room. Grabe, I have never heard a more passionate explanation about ships. Kumakain na kami nageexplain pa siya. He covered everything, pati sila Ginny at Luna. Ibang klase.

"... Pero ang pinakabagay kay Hermione ay si RJ."
"Ikaw?"
"Yep. Bagay kami."
"Tara swimming nalang."

IX. RJ is honest. Way too honest.

He brought a drawstring bag on our way to the beach. And Maine can tell it has a book in it.

"Alam mo kung hindi lang mahal yang librong yan lulunurin ko na yan sa tubig." She comments and he just made a subukan-mo-lang face.

"Bahala ka na dyan. Basta ako, magsswimming!" She proceeded to remove her cover - his tshirt - but a hand covers hers.

It's RJ. She scowls.

"Gusto mo bang magaway tayo dito RJ?"
"Pwede. Basta di mo aalisin yan."
"Jusmiyo naman RJ. Halos lahat ng babae rito nakasuot ng ganito. Pati nga mga ate mo oh."
"Ate ko lang yang mga yan."
"Eh ano mo ba ko?" Maine challenged RJ, who remained muted but his gaze never left hers.

Ano mo ba ko ha RJ? Kase ano kita eh. Hihi.

Not getting any response, Maine simply sighed.

"So ano feeling mo di ko kaya sarili ko? I've gone swimming to France RJ. Topless. Please. Kung nagwoworry ka, samahan mo ko."

And join her he did. They've spent hours playing and laying under the sun. No guy or girl came to interrupt them, it was only his family that was here and everybody's having a great time.

Until RJ tells her they'll go home after the bonfire.

"Di tayo iinom?"
"Maine di ako umiinom."
"Nakatikim ka na ba?"
"Hindi."
"Allergic ka ba?"
"Hindi rin."
"Siraulo ka ba!"
"Medyo?"
"Corny mo naman RJ eh."
"Corny di pa nagjojoke."
"Weh. Inuman yun RJ."
"Wag na. Tsaka kailangan na natin bumalik. Group meeting bukas. Asa nanaman sakin mga groupmates ko eh."
"Ikaw ang bait mo talaga. Edi kaya nga sana tayo iinom para di ka aattend bukas kase hungover ka."
"Ayokong uminom Maine. Ayoko ring umabsent."
"Ano ka baaa RJ?"
"Sayo ko Maine. Sayo."
"Ha?"
"Sabi ko tao. Bingi lang?"
"Ikaw bumulong ako sasabihan ng bingi. Kung di lang talaga RJ." Kung di lang talaga kita mahal.

They made their way outside to his family and seated with the children. He has three younger siblings, two girls and the youngest boy, who are all playing with their cousins. RJ seemed intent on sitting here rather than together with those of their age.

Must be because they're drinking already

Maine just shrugs the fact that she can't drink now, because these children are way too cute. Oh and his older relatives seated beside them as well.

"Oh bakit di kayo sumama sakanila?" She is RJ's Lola, Maine recalled.

"Lolaaa"
"Ah eh, dito nalang po kami." She fibbed.

"Lam niyo naman yung mga yun Lola eh. Tsaka di naman nila pansing wala kami dun." RJ explained.

Hindi ko lam yun RJ, di mo ba ieexplain saken?

"Ate girlfriend ate girlfriend" A boy tugged at Maine's sleeves. Everyone within earshot focused their attention to them.

Girlfriend? Luh.

"Sinong nagturo sayo niyan Max? Si kuya Sam ba?" RJ asked as Maine refills the kid's' stick with marshmallows.

"Opo. Sabi niya po."
"No baby. Di ako si ate girlfriend. Ako si ate Meng ok?"
"Ok ate Meng. Thank you po."

"Hindi mo ba siya girlfriend iho?" Lola asks and Maine just wants to bury herself under the sand. Like literally under it and unable to get out.

"Nako Lola. Hindi po. Masyado pong perfect si Maine para sa isang hamak na tulad ko."
"Ay iho, kaya nga nanliligaw eh. Ipadama mo ang nararamdaman mo."
"Hindi naman po sapat yun Lola."

Maine watches the exchange with a ghost of a laughter, since RJ speaking like this feels like he's joking. Or she just couldn't accept the fact that he's indirectly confessing his love for her.

She just raises an eyebrow at him in disbelief, laughs, and they return her focus to the kids playing.

"Sali ka ate girlfriend?" A cute girl, his cousin asked.
"Baby ate Meng ako okay?"
"Okay ate Meng girlfriend."

"Ate Meng girlfriend uwi na tayo." RJ approached her and the kids went to tease her.

"Kuya RJ siya girlfriend mo diba?"
"Ganda niya no?" RJ pls wag kang ganyan marupok ako RJ pls

"Kuya RJ wag na kayo uwi" Ang cute, paano humindi huhu
"Di pwede baby eh."
"Di niyo ba ko love?"
"Love ka namin baby. Diba Meng?"

Maine just nodded because she still cannot get over the cuteness overload she's witnessing right now.

"Eh si Ate Meng Girlfriend, love mo ba siya kuya?"
"Ha?" Langyang batang to, showbiz reporter.

RJ just laughed and ruffled her hair.

"Ang tanong baby, kung love ako ni Ate Meng niyo. Kasi lab na lab ko siyaaa." His cousin started squealing because RJ carried her and ran all the way to the sea, leaving Maine to bear the teasing of his relatives and contemplate if he's telling the truth.

Before they left, RJ's lola told her this:

Sabi ni RJ, ikaw daw yung tipong hindi ginigirlfriend.

X. RJ is clean and organized.

Maine has always hated the way his things are organized. It's way too neat like no one has touched it even if he just took a white shirt from his white shirt pile, the next didn't have any crease or sign that there was something on top of it.

Or the fact that he has three laundry bins - for whites, colored, and underwear. When they brought their laundry, hers was just a bag with clothes stuffed on it but his, his was like something that came out of a boutique or a department store.

It was in deep contrast to her cabinet, which is a cross between a treasure chest and Pandora's box. You can find a bill in her socks or a biscuit wrapper in her jeans. There may or may not be a few hair clips with her bras and papers with her tshirts.

His bed is so perfect, sometimes she even wants to marry it. It smells so nice, so him, and it's freasjfdsfking clean. Unlike hers that has a pen or two underneath and probably a couple of coins.

But the real deal is his planner. They say that you need one in college but Maine never heeded that advice. She almost suffered on her first sem.

Almost.

There may be those sold planners, premade, some that you can get online but his own self planner is the bomb. He created his own, a minimalist design he got from the internet and the planner works for him. It has blocks on what he should do for the next few hours, with blue ones for school and everyday activities (sleeping, eating, exercise) and red for emergencies. Green is for leisure while orange is for family and friends.

Her time blocks are the same as his so she just refers to his for her schedule. RJ found out that month so he placed her subjects in parentheses underneath his.

Real life saver, that what RJ is. Maine decides that is he does continue placing her whole sched with him, she is so cooking him buffalo wings everyday.

But when she saw RJ blocked off a time (color red) without placing what it should be, Maine wonders what kind of emergency that is.

XI. RJ is a saint.

The first person RJ solely brings to their dorm is of course, a girl. Maine pretended to be asleep but she's actually watching them from her top bunk.

Maganda naman si ate girl. Keri na.

She watched as that girl practically threw herself at RJ but he was way too focused on getting some work done.

And when she left, Maine pretended to wake up.

"Kanina ka pa gising Maine. Sinong maloloko mo?"
"Sungit. BV ka ba dun kay ate girl? Sayang ba?"
"Sayang ang alin?"
"Dude bet na bet ka ni ate gurl di mo ba pansin? Jusko hinaharass ka na di mo pa nararamdam?"
"Nararamdaman kooo."
"At wala kang ginawa? Jusko RJ kung lalaki ako -"

"Magpaparebound ka?"
"Ha?"
"Kakabreak lang nila ng ex niya kanina. Kamukha ko yung ex niya."
"O tapos?"
"Hay di pwedeng bitin ang kwento sayo no? Edi yun na nga. Odd yung bilang ng klase so dapat ako yung magisa pero since break na sila I doubt na magagawa nila yung pair work so sabi ko pair nalang kami."

Maine clapped her hands and made worshipping gestures.

"Ikaw na. Ikaw na ang santo. Dakila ka."
"Ewan ko sayo Meng. Bumaba ka na dyan at magluto ka na."
"Di ka lang marunong magluto perfect ka na sana eh."
"Ikaw."
"Ako? Ano ako? Perfect?"
"O - uh marunong magluto. Magaling."
"Kaw ha RJ ha. May gusto ka ba sakin? Na ipaluto?"

RJ shouted Sinigang as she made her way to the kitchen. May bangus belly naman. Keri ang sinigang.

"Ano bang tanong mo Maine kanina mo pa gustong ilabas yan eh." RJ sighed after eating. He has Maine's expressions memorized and now, she has this curious one and won't let it go until she has an answer.

"Eh kase ganito na nga yun. Wala ka ba talagang gusto kay ate gurl kanina or kahit konting pagnanasa man lang?"
"Grabe sa pagnanasa. Pero wala."
"Wala ka bang hormones?"
"Ano bang klaseng mga tanong to meron syempre. Look Maine, kung di ko naman gusto yung babae kahit maghubad pa siya sa harap ko walang mangyayari."
"Solid. Santo ka talaga. Last na, may gusto ka ba ngayon?"

RJ first took a chocolate bar from the fridge.

"Huy sagot."
"Meron."
"Sino?" Tagal sumagot. One, two, three, fou -
"Emma Watson."

She took the bar from him.

"Yung reachable naman. Dito lang sa campus ganun."
"Meron din."
"Sino?"
"Ayaw."
"Ayaw ang pangalan o ayaw mong sabihin?"
"Yoko sabihin."
"Daya. Course?"
"Secret."
"Hate u. Tagasaan?"
"Um currently residing sa puso ko."
"Ayaw na nga kitang kausap."

"Kilala ka ba niya?"
"Kala ko ba ayaw mo na kong kausap."
"Sagot nalang RJ."
"Feeling ko we've known each other for a long time. Pero kilala naman niya ko."
"Alam ba niya?"
"Na ano?"
"Na crush mo siya?"
"Di ko siya crush."
"Seryoso nafall ka sakanya? Mahal mo na?"
"Di niya alam." He said forlornly.

"RJ naman. Di ka lang santo, martyr ka pa. Paano kung may iba siya?"
"Single pa naman siya ngayon. Based on my sources."
"Eh paano pag hindi na? Jusko make your move. Pag ikaw naunahan nako sayang."
"Sana nga walang mauna sakanya."

"Maganda siya, if you're wondering." RJ told her before going to bed.

And Maine may or may not have let a few tears roll down her cheeks. She knows she isn't beautiful, and he has fallen for someone who is.

And RJ may or may not spent the whole night staring, not at his Hermione poster on the wall, but his ceiling. The top bunk where the woman he loved lay, and cursed himself for not being able to say everything he feels.

But there's no CCTV in their room, and both are too afraid to lose each other that they're almost losing their chance.

Almost.

XII. RJ has this weird fascination with paper roses.

And he'd rather make some than jog with Maine.

The first night here in their dorm, Maine found him making one. And he has been religiously doing so, every single day. Yes, he has a box of it, all different colors and it's so beautiful.

For the last time, Maine asked him to go jogging with him.

"RJ, graduation na mamaya. Bukas aalis na tayo dito. Dali na last bonding na to."
"Busy." He pointed to the paper roses he has been making.

Grabe talaga. Pinagpalit ako sa rose. Aamin pa naman sana ako.

She wanted to tell him everything. That after four years of being best friends, she felt more than that. Way more than that. That Maine was happy cooking for him, and even if he's such a Hermione-tard she doesn't care.

Maine loves RJ so much that she always wanted to kiss his dimple. And she wouldn't mind sleeping early as long as he's beside her.

And really, she just hates herself for hating him the first months because really, truthfully, honestly, she's just head over heels for him.

But she can never be that unnamed woman he loved. She is never beautiful, nor funny, and she is not perfect like he said that girl is.

Maine didn't see RJ for the rest of the day. They have different ceremonies, as they're from different colleges. She got her diploma alone, only her batchmates clapping for her. Her parents are still around the world, but she's happy for them and they for her.

She thought RJ would bring his family back to the dorm, and wondered how many of those she had met will be coming.

That evening when he returned, holding a bouquet of yellow roses in his hands, he greeted her with a "Ay fail."

"Congrats." Offering him a smile. "So, aamin ka na sakanya?"
"Sana. Kaso fail eh." He pointed at her, sitting at the box. Oh, nauupuan ko yung box of roses.

"So ever since, you have been making her roses? Everyday?" His reply was a scratch at his red ear and a sheepish smile.

"Kilig na kilig ka naman. Mas mapula ka pa buffalo wings."
"Grabe siya oh."
"So sino nga siya? Do I not deserve to know? Best friend mo ko ah."

"Ah eh pano ba to. May surprise pa naman ako sayo. Marunong na kong magluto ng buffalo wings."
"Totoo yan?"
"Oo! Ganito. Why don't you figure out who she is, check underneath the roses. Then I'll cook."
"Okay."

First look at the box, and Maine couldn't find any yellow roses. She spotted the bouquet he left on the table. A dozen yellow roses.

She took the blue one first.

Your smile lights up my world

She thought about her corny jokes and how his body trembled while laughing. Maine smiled at the memory of a laughing RJ, it was priceless since he's serious most of the times.

I'm just so inlove with you sometimes it hurts

That made Maine scowl. She has been feeling the same for RJ but apparently he has been harboring those feelings for someone else, someone more beautiful.

Someone not her.

I see us having a family someday

And that reminds Maine of a question she forgot to ask him - seeing him holding that bouquet of yellow roses will make you forget even your name.

"RJ?"
"Bakit? Tapos ka na?"
"Ha hindi pa, dalawa palang nakikita ko. Naalala ko lang, sinong umattend sa graduation mo kanina?"
"Wala."
"Ha?"
"Wala."
"Seryoso? Andami niyo ah."
"Nakalimutan siguro. Or busy. Yaan mo na yun. Sige na nagcoconcentrate ako dito."
"Sira. Wag ka munang magpiprito di pa mainit yung mantika."
"Opo madam."
"Tse."

But she will miss them like this. Living together, sharing almost everything, she will miss being just a foot away from him - that when she turns, she can find him.

You got every heart in my family, not just mine.

You trip easily, and it's so cute.

Hindi ako naririndi kahit puro ka kwento. I can spend all day listening to your voice.

I held your hand today, and it fits mine perfectly.

Maine remembers, the night they had forgotten that power was supposed to be cut off, they were watching Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire. It was during that time when Hermione hugged Harry that everything turned black.

RJ found her hand in the popcorn bowl. Intertwined it and squeezed it, gently but firmly, like he didn't want to let go and confesses to her that he's afraid of the dark.

Di na ko takot sa dilim.
Basta nandyan ka.

I may have fallen in love with you the first day we met, the first I saw you.

You're crazy. Endearing kind of crazy.

Endearing na crazy?

Curious as to who this person really is, Maine stuck her hand inside the box, pulling out one of the paper roses he first made.

Mikmik at HawHaw pala ah.
Ok noted.

Maine wonders if she's the one he has been talking about. But she shrugged it off completely when she picked up the next flower.

You're sweating, just after an exercise, and you're the hottest woman I have ever seen.

Maine knows she's nowhere to be called as hot. And after she jogs, she looks haggard as hell. Like someone ran over her with a truck. Literal na Haggardo Versoza.

Sana beach nalang ako, para mahal mo rin ako.

Maine also wishes, upon reading this particular flower, that she's Hermione Granger. The love RJ has for that girl, she can't believe she's getting jealous. Of a fictional married character nonetheless.

We'll go around the world like your parents, and have our house near the beach like mine.

That was Maine's last straw. This is a university where most are not as well-off as she is. And she allows herself, for the last time.

Baka nga para sakin to. Baka ako to. Baka ako rin mahal niya. At kahit hindi, atleast ngayon maramdaman ko. Minsan lang. Hayaan niyo na kong magpakatanga.

She picks another just as RJ exclaims in pain.

"Uy anyare?"
"Wala tumalsik."
"Akina patingin. Kase naman magingat ka."

RJ holds the flower she picked while she inspects her hand. He could never get over the feeling of her hands in his. Having to be this close to her, able to feel the body heat, the happiness she's radiating, RJ has never let a day pass without thanking who made this possible.

"Bakit kaya ayaw mong maniwalang maganda ka?" He reads out loud. Maine stiffens for a bit, then tries to act as if nothing happened.

He remembers those times he told her she's beautiful and ends up getting a laugh or a sarcastic reply.

"Magiingat na ko Maine. Sige na. Oh."

Wordlessly, she took the blue paper flower and returned to their room.

You look absolutely stunning in anything you wear. My own Petrificus Totalus.

Maine smiles at his Harry Potter reference. Corny pero sweet.

Sometimes I wonder if you like me too.

I saw you bite your lip today. Please stop it. It took every ounce of my self-control not to kiss you.

Ganda mo ngayon.

I'm not going anywhere.
I won't leave you.

She smiles sadly as she remembers one of their deep nights. Those nights when RJ was supposed to be reviewing and Maine joins him to help him stay awake and they end up talking about philosophical and personal things.

There was one night she told him about her fears.

"Ayoko nang maiwan RJ. Ayoko nang magisa. I'm happy for my parents, pero they were never there. Hindi naman nila ko pinababayaan pero hindi ko rin dama yung love nila. Or ewan ko, nagccrave ako ng tlc eh. Ayoko na lang na magisa ako, ang lungkot, wala kang kasama."

He lets her cry on his shoulders and repeat the same words she has read.

"I'm not going anywhere Maine. I won't leave you."

A tear drops on another rose. Maine picks it up and smiles.

Iyakin.

Ang ganda ng boses mo.
Kanta ka pa.

I'm thanking every single day I get to spend with you.

Do I really look bad in patterned polos? Tinawanan mo ko eh.

We'll learn playing the piano together. One day.

You and your love for fictional characters, hay <3

Bakit ang ganda mo parin kahit sinusungitan mo na ko?

Magaaral din tayo ng drums. Tsaka violin. Any instrument you want.

Gagawa tayo ng kanta. Or igagawa kita at haharanahin.

Your eyes speak volumes.
Kahit puro eyebags ka na.

I'll drop everything if you need me to be beside you.

Minsan iniisip ko kung kaibigan LANG kita, kaso di ko maisip eh.

Prinsesa ka, ako'y dukha
Sa tv lang naman kase may mangyayari

Parokya ni Edgar's Pangarap Lang Kita played on her head. It was one she kept on singing to her anime husbands, belting out "PANGARAP LANG KITAAAAHH~" at 2 in the morning.

Maine remembers how she forced RJ to sing this as well. Of course she disturbed his sleep by singing, but he likes the song and both of them had those kinds of love they couldn't reach. RJ ended up singing to his wall, to his Hermione poster.

Benta ng joke mo today. Everyday naman eh.

Second year, second sem.
Second time I thought you'll leave.

I'm stuck with cheesy love songs on my playlist because of you.

Every meal with you
feels like a date.

Can I just keep you in my pocket?
Cute mo.
(Hindi parang aso)

Sana before tayong maghiwalay, masabi ko lahat to sayo.

Ang kalat natin kumain ngayon, pero ang saya naman. Salamat.

You look beautiful, even in your sleep.

Maine cringes at what she just read. RJ spends time looking at someone sleep? That's stalker creepy, but they're the only ones sleeping together here. In separate beds, baka nasa gutter kayo.

If these roses are really for her, and Maine did feel so, this rose just ruined it. She isn't beautiful, especially not when she's asleep. Nakanganga na, ang likot-likot pa. Sabog sabog pa buhok niya kala mo may nasirang bird's nest.

Mahal na talaga kita. Totoo na. Seryoso na to, napatunayan ko na.

Paano ko sasabihin eh parang may gusto kang iba?

Ang sakit naman.

Naiinis ako sayo, pero ang ganda mo parin eh.

Mahal parin kita kahit may mahal ka nang iba. Kahit masakit.

I talked to your parents today. Alam na nilang may gusto ko sayo.

And that crushed her fantasies. First off, her parents are away and are very hard to reach. Minsan lang tumawag yung mga yun.

So if this is really her, how on earth did RJ talked to them?

Ang kulit kase eh. Hindi ka nga mahal. Best friend ka lang. Ibang tao to. Hindi ikaw.

She let out a deep sigh and picked another.

"Lalim naman nun."
"RJ! Nakaluto ka na?"
"Hindi ko pa hinahalo yung sauce. Di pa luto yung kanin."
"Marunong ka na talaga, pwede ka nang magisa. I'm so proud."

Maine wipes a fake tear and laughs with RJ. Hay, mamimiss niya talaga to.

"Malapit ka na ah." He observed, looking at the box and the flower in her hand.

Suddenly I can't imagine my life without you in it anymore.

I am scared to tell you, ayokong maawkward tayo.

I just love you too much I can't lose you by telling how much I do.

Natatakot talaga ko. What if you don't love me the same way I do?

"Nagtanong ka na ba?" Maine asked him, who was watching her read. She gave him the flower she just read.

"Hindi. Nakakatakot nga."
"Sino ba kase to? Kilala ko ba?"
"Teka masusunog na ata yung sinaing."

Maine eyes linger on where he just sat, as both of them have the same dilemma.

Mahal mo yung kaibigan mo pero mahal mo rin yung friendship niyo at ayaw mong masira yun ng pagiging selfish mo.

There were only a few left, and Maine can smell RJ's cooking. Aba mukhang marunong na ang loko.

Sobrang delusional ko para isiping may gusto ka rin sakin no?

Bumalik lang ako para kunin yung naiwan kong readings, nakita kitang natutulog sa kama ko.

Ang ganda mo talaga.

I don't know how I'll survive this without you.