Back Alley Boys

Otto

"I was 12, barely old enough to really know what I was doing. His name was Owen, and there was just something there. I wouldn't even know how to describe it. I'd known him for years and I'd always catch him looking at me at school. I invited him round one afternoon and we ended up in this old scrap car lot. Everyone knew it was hookup territory, so in reality, there must have been a small part of me that knew why we were going there. Anyway, long story short, my Dad found us. He grabbed me by the hair and punched me up pretty good. I told Owen to make a run for it and he did. I never saw him again actually. Probably couldn't pick him out if you put him in front of me. We all look different now."

He wasn't crying. He was too tough for that. Tough Tommy. Tough Tom. We had skipped class, a first for myself, and found ourselves in the old scrap car lot. I suppose he came here to tell me this story, or maybe it was a place he didn't think we'd be found.

"What happened with your Dad? I mean, are you guys close now?" I murmur.

"Christ no. He kicked me out that night. I lived on the streets a few months before Harley found me and took me in. I suppose I still do live on the streets, but it doesn't feel like that. I feel at home with those boys."

"Did you ever see him again?"

"He still lives in town. He never could leave after my mamma died. But I don't see him much, and if I do one of us walks the other way in good time."

"Do the boy's know you're g... you know..." He looks down at me as I stumble over my words and he leans into my ear.

"It's not a bad word you know. You can say it." A shiver runs down my spine.

"If it's so good why don't you tell anyone?" He leans back and looks down. 

"You've gotta understand. I'm all for being proud and everything, but reality is I live in an alley, in a town full of crime and gangs, and even though I want to, I could literally die. Now I love the boys, and I don't think they'd be all that bothered... But if word got out, much worse would happen to me than just what happened to Ajax." 

"So you are scared of the word."

"Not in front of you." He says as he looks at me. My eyes lock with his for a fleeting second before I give in and look down. 

"And that's why you aren't like the others." He laughs.

"What?"

"You look away every time someone looks at you. Even before we were talking, you would look at our group and look down instantly. Not at all confrontational like the rest of your group... I always thought you didn't belong in a group like that." I looked up at him in defiance, I could tell my harsh look was doing nothing, I could see his laugh bubbling to the surface. 

"What do you mean by a group like that?" I asked instead.

"Oh come on... you know what I mean." He reasoned. I did know what he meant. 

"They aren't that bad." I reasoned back.

"The only reason this whole feud started was because of The Riches. We were happy to mind our own business until James, Zak and Finn beat up Grey for going out with a girl from your side of town. He was 14 and never came back to the alley. We found him half dead out at the park." 

"Surely that wasn't us. Finn isn't like tha..."

"It was before they 'initiated' you into their little group Otis." He said solemnly, "They might have changed since then... but your brother and his friends used to do some dark shit to us. They've backed off a bit recently until whatever they've gone and done to cause Ajax's situation." 

"But Finn... He's not like that. I can see maybe James and Zak if James strung him along but..."

"I don't know Otis, talk to your brother if you want to. Just don't believe everything you hear. Sure we aren't innocent either, but ours started as self defence." 

"Only my parents call me Otis." I murmur.

"Otto then." 

"But that's so ordinary. Everyone calls me that." he laughs. 

"Otter? You are cute." He laughs and I bury my head in his chest in embarrassment before I start laughing too. 

"You cannot name me after a mammal."

"It's a cute mammal. You're a cute mammal." My blush was hidden in his shirt luckily.

"How has our conversation changed so quickly?" 

"I guess it's a defence mechanism. Movement away from the serious stuff." He says as he cups my cheeks and lifts my head up.  All my body wants to do is lean forward and kiss him again like I did what seems like years ago in the corridor. How could less than 2 hours seem to be a lifetime ago. His hair looked so soft and perfect as it waved down and a single strand fell over his eye while the rest seemed like it had been purposefully styled back without looking like he had styled it at all. He probably bloody woke up like this. 

"You wouldn't expect a boy that lived in an alley to look like this." 

"Oh sod off." He laughed. It was the most amazing sound in the world and all I wanted to do was keep hearing it. Moments passed before my mind seemed to start working again.

"What are we doing?" I muttered sadly as I looked down again and his hands fell away dejectedly from my face. Nothing could ever really come of us. It wasn't even the gay thing. No one would allow us together, even if  one of us was a girl. I mean, he basically just confirmed that with what he said about what happened when Grey got with an uptown girl. 

"Please don't do that now." 

"Do what?" I muttered as I walked a few steps away from where we had been sitting against an old car and crossed my arms sadly.

"Please. Can't we just pretend for a few more moments." He sighed as he pushed himself up from the car ever so elegantly and took one long stride up to me. His legs were so long in the best way possible. I looked up quickly. 

"That's the point though. Pretend. I don't want to pretend. If this can never happen I'd rather not even start it."

"You already did start it little Otter."

And then he kissed me, and for a fleeting moment I forgot every worry that had just entered my scrambled mind.