emotional

two.

-lucas, february 3

"he didn't show that much emotion, sir, im not sure what you mean. it was hard to preten-" the pain in my head became almost unbearable. i try to lie down, but he's so strong that i cant.

"it didn't seem so hard for you to eat like a pig and for you to enjoy all that attention."

"isn't that a good thing?! you said i needed to catch tyler's attention, and i did. he still doesn't seem like a good match." shit. fuck. why'd i disagree again?!

"and you know so much? if you know so much why don't you just lead this exhibition on your own?"

"no, no i trust you. i will always trust you. it just hurts so badly. i need someone, soon." he finally lets go and i can take a deep breath.

"that part is all reliant on you. i can't do everything for you, you know."

"yes sir. is tomorrow too soon?"

"not at all. the sooner the better."

finally my head clears and i can see straight again. i rub my temples and slowly wander to the bathroom to take some advil.

i open the medicine cabinet above the sink and pour out the last two pills in the bottle. great. immediately, they're slammed in my mouth. i turn on the faucet, cup some cold water in my hand and toss it back.

dear god, tyler, please be home tomorrow.

it's supposed to make no sense i swear it'll become something!!1!!