Falling For The Other Guy

3.

I woke up, mouth dry and my hair a mess. I could seriously use some water right now. My back felt sore as I realised I was lying down on the bathroom floor, dried up blood surrounding me.

Did that really happen? Did I really cut myself with a razor?

I stood up, wincing as I accidentally touched my cut. I can't really blame anyone for what i did to myself. Ignoring the sting of my cut, I quickly took a shower, feeling weird cause of how many tablets I took.

"Why did I take so many?" I mutter to myself, examining myself in the mirror.

I never thought I ugly but I never thought I was pretty either. I considered myself just below average when it came to looks. I guess you could I was lucky I had a boyfriend to begin with...but now I didn't.

I didn't see what Will saw in me. I was 5'5 with brownish black hair and an average body. The only thing I liked about myself was my eyes. They were two different colours: one blue and the other brown. Some people liked it and some people thought I looked weird with it. I didn't mind.

I skipped down the stairs, trying to put myself into a good mood. Today I was meant to go roller skating with Will since we hadn't ever been before, then after we'd grab some Mac Donald's and snuggle on his couch watching Netflix.

Now as i went downstairs, it hit me really hard that things have changed. It's not going to be that way anymore. I'd have to get use to making my own plans.

My mum entered the room looking scruffy like she usually does. She had booty shorts with sequins all over it. She also had a hot pink crop top on which didn't leave much to imagination. Sometimes I wished she could dress her age and maybe, just maybe...act her age.

"What have you been up to?" She asked me, looking like she had a hangover. Instead of pouring herself some coffee like normal parents do, she went straight for the vodka, pouring it into a tea cup.

"You promised me you'd at least stop drinking mum." I say in a quiet voice.

She rolls her eyes, "I'm only having a little bit, don't act like you kids don't drink as well." She says, gulping the entire cup down.

"Mum, could you please listen to yourself! You're not sixteen anymore, you can't keep doing this." I say.

I loved my mum but hated her at the same time. I just wished she would quit drugs and alcohol so I wouldn't have to worry if something happens to her one of these days.

"Why can't you just leave me to it, it's not affecting you." She pours herself another cup as I stood there fuming with anger.

"It's not affecting me?! You don't think I don't wake up everyday wondering whether your home or if you're drunk out of your mind on the streets? You think I don't worry whether you've overdosed on those stupid fucking drugs you take everyday?! You don't think it's affected me that the fact dad left was because of your stupid addiction?!"

I take in a deep breath, feeling like I would cry any second now. Mum stays silent for a bit, her face not giving anything away.

"I thought we agreed not to talk about your father again Rachel." She says quietly, looking at me straight in the eyes.

I scoff, not wanting to speak to her anymore. "I won't be back tonight." I hiss, slamming the door shut.

I didn't know why, but my feet were leading me towards Will's house. I didn't know what I was going to say or do but it felt right.

I stopped in front of his door, memories of us being here rushing back. I shook my head, gaining enough courage to ring the door bell, so I did. The noise echoed through my ear, making me feel very nervous all of a sudden.