TREASURE PLANET 【CHASING STARS】

【3. The Accident】

【Song: you were good to me by Jeremy Zucker. This chapter involves mentions of death, loss, and neglected/unacknowledged grief... basically just sad. Also maybe kinda long. For what it's worth, I'm sorry.】

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After her conversation with her mother, Sophie climbed out the window and onto the rooftop, as she'd been doing since the age of maybe 6 or 7, trusting that no one would come up. At least not for now.

She carefully climbed onto the roof, taking a seat next to the chimney and leaning back against the brick structure, before she began to mentally count in between flashes of lightning from the clouds far off in the distance, the thunder beginning to rumble in from miles away.

The air was already getting colder, but Sophie didn't mind. She'd always preferred the cold anyway. She began to think about the day so far, what Sarah said, what the police said... what Jim said.

The names the police called her and Jim stung more than either of them would like to admit. And that wasn't the first time they'd been called names like "wrong choices", "dead-enders", or "losers", and she doubted it would be the last.

Of course they'd never hear it from Sarah or Theodosia, but the lingering fear that that's what they thought never subsided. Sophie knew that Jim always felt guilty for letting his mom down, but she never heard him say something like that.

If she was being completely honest... it even scared her a little....

Okay, maybe a lot.

As if on cue, memories of her past came flooding back. Everything she longed to have again, everything that was either taken from her or she had to watch fade away into memory. Even in the seven years that had past, she hadn't moved on. As if she didn't allow herself to. 

She and her father were so close, that was obvious to anyone who saw them together. Even though she had a close bond with her mother, what she and her father had wasn't exactly something you see every day.

Now that he wasn't around, she didn't know what to do anymore. It felt like suddenly finding yourself lost in the middle of nowhere. She knew that her mother worried, but she didn't want to burden her anymore than she already had.

Every day, she fought so hard just to keep her head above water, but it felt as though she was slowly dying. As she grew older, she just grew more and more tired.

Soon enough, Sophie hugged her legs up to her chest and she let herself begin to cry, too exhausted to keep her walls up anymore.

This was sort of a constant for her. It hurt like hell, but indulging in the grief had become her coping mechanism. A way to feel something when she felt like she couldn't feel anything. But she didn't want anyone to know about this. Not her mom, not Sarah, not even her best friend.

When Sophie finally lifted her head, the skies had grown darker. But she was too drained to be surprised by the fact that she'd been up there for hours.

Sophie sniffled, her tears coming to a stop. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, clearing away the evidence of her breakdown. Sophie then closed her eyes and hugged herself, leaning her head back against the chimney as a few more tears rolled down her face.

She felt as though there was nothing she could do or say at this point. She didn't even know what to think. All she knew was how she felt.

One final tear escaped her left eye and rolled down her cheek. Each beat of her heart sent a soreness through every inch of her body.