i love you||yoonmin

i love you.

i love you

i love you

i love you

-
Jimin's POV
-

its not true
he didn't

tell me i've been lied to
He knows you two don't do that. You aren't-

crying isn't like you
He's in the common room. I can hear him. I've never heard someone in quite that much distress. That's the worst part

what the hell did i do?
I cant believe I laughed at him. I laughed at him like he'd made a joke, not confessed his feelings...

never been the type to
let someone see right through
I knew the blood drained from my face when he said it. My emotional reaction was so instant, he must have read me immediately. I've never let that happen to me before.

maybe wont you take it back
say you were tryna make me laugh
I thought he was messing with me for just a moment, but it's Yoongi - He doesn't mess around about things like this.

and nothing has to change today
you didn't mean to say 'i love you'
God, he was serious. Ive never seen him or someone so serious before. It looked like he'd been working up the nerve for the longest time. I feel so bad for crushing him down.
What was it supposed to happen now? I wouldn't be able to live knowing that I hurting him but I already did. Plus, I have quite a while left on this miserable rock. You think i'd rather not spend it without him.

i love you and i don't want to
I tried to keep it cool. I am not going to cry. I dont want to feel my heart beating fast in my chest. I don't-
I don't feel very cool, at least not right now. Running away from Yoongi after he'd just spilled his heart to me didn't sound very cool at all. Goddamn, i am a real asshole, aren't i?
I am not gay, I can safely say that. I don't know why, but I know that. That's a constant in your life- Girls. Jennie, right? And Rosé is pretty, before she was, like, your mom. Yikes. And Chaeyoung, you liked her for a while. Yeah.

Who am I fucking kidding?

So maybe it's just Yoongi. But, fuck, I instantly imagine and just how disappointed he'd be.
Me? And another boy?
If Yoongi just had to go and say the one thing you didn't want to hear. "I love-"
Stop that.
Replaying it in my head won't do much good, will it? But one more time can't hurt.

up all night on another red eye
i wish we never learned to fly
I looked down at him, smiling a bit. "Hey their..." I mumble, sliding my arm down around his waist. I kind of want to kiss him like I did a few nights ago.I liked how he melted his arms when I  wrapped them around his back, his hands on my face. I liked how he'd moved just right like he knew what he was doing and-

I didn't need to think about that right now.

"Can I tell you something?" Yoongi asked, running his fingers through my hair. I nodded, pausing the movie.

"I, uh." Yoongi turns to faces me more directly. He adjusts his sleeves over his hands. "I think I finally get what you guys were talking about, about human feelings. I feel so shitty about how me, of all people, can't fucking figure out his own quadrants, but, like, at the same time I really think I know what I want now? And although all of this stuff that's been going on could just be so completely pale , my fucked up thinkpan wants it to be something else? And it's not red, no matter how badly I've wanted it to just fit in that box.I mean, like, I want some aspects of it. Like, you know." He paused.

"The... Concupiscent... Part. And I'm fairly sure you're reciprocating in that regard if some of the stuff we've been doing recently is anything to go by. And although you're absolutely insufferable, I, uh. I think- I do. I love you. Human love you, if that makes it make sense."

I'm not gay.

"I'm not gay," I try to laugh it off.

maybe we should just try
to tell ourselves a good lie
i didn't mean to make you cry
the smile that you gave me
even when you felt like dying
His expression was a strange mix of hurt and confusion, before deciding on a little smile. It looked so, so fake.

"It's okay. I, uh. Expected that." He said, his voice breaking. I felt my heart break a little, too. He sniffles.

"I- Fuck, man, I can't. Christ, you just-" Yoongi rambled.

I get off the couch.

"Don't do that to me, man. Jesus."

I left the common room and head to my room and slammed the door when I left.

God, what a fucking wreck it was.

And now here i was, listening to him cry from my bed, worrying so much about him. What the hell was I supposed to do?

we fell apart as it gets dark
i'm in your arms in central park
I have nothing to prove to anybody. Because i'm late im fucking late and anybody that would care is dead.

I think of what could have been if i'd just said it back, like a normal fucking person.

And not be a fucking asshole and tell him 'i'm not gay.'

The light from the TV fades to black. There's nothing in the room but me and him now, and the empty air around me. I pull him to my chest. He'd breathes against me, but that isnt true because i'm here thinking and imagining that i'm kissing the top of his soft head and having him in my chest.

there's nothing you could do or say
i cant escape the way, i love you
i don't want to, but i love you

I whisper, to no one, testing out the words on my tongue.

"I love you, too."

THE END.