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the violent sun rays hit your face as you buried your toes in the sand. one hand was also buried in the sand but the other was attempting to block the sun from penetrating your eyes. it was actually quite soothing, the waves crashing on the beach shore, and the bright blue sky. all of it seemed just perfect to you. 

and maybe it was because it became your thinking place after you and renjun broke up. you clearly hated renjun for what he had done to you, but you hated yourself more for what you had done. 

you gently closed your eyes and everything came back to you. that night, and everything else that followed.

"are you sure you want to go to this party (y/n)?" renjun asked with downward quirked lips.

you applied one layer of lip gloss while leaning forward towards the mirror. you shrugged and turned your back towards him, "can you zip up my dress?"

you assumed that he nodded because he swiftly placed your hair to the side and zipped up the dress. you were actually surprised that he didn't say anything about how tight the dress was or about how he wanted to slide the dress off you rather than zip it up.

you turned back towards him and smiled, "are you ready?"

renjun's blank expression caught you off guard. once he realized what you said he just nodded and led you out the door and into the car. 

the drive to jaemin's place was kind of long, but nevertheless a soothing one. one of renjun's hands were on the wheel and the other placed innocently on your thigh. he'd take his hand off of your thigh when he needed to use both hands to drive, but when he didn't there it was to give you warmth and comfort.

and that's when you had to take a deep breath. because anything during jaemin's party was a blur. the only thing you could remember was greeting jaemin and losing renjun in the crowd. 

your hands were clamming up when you searched around for renjun. the kitchen, living room, and all three bedrooms had not once trace of renjun. but you did run into a lot of people trying to hook up, one of them being jaemin and jeno, which was slightly disturbing for your eyes. 

the only place you could think of was the backyard. squeezing through the hot bodies and the chaotic atmosphere was no joke, it was kinda gross. you looked out the window and didn't see anyone but a guy and some random girl. when you saw something familiar and shiny on the girl's wrist you did a double-take.

it was the charm bracelet you had been missing for three months. you chastely opened the back door and stormed over there. when you saw renjun and the girl with your bracelet kissing you gasped, "what the fuck huang renjun!"

renjun whipped around and all emotion in his face was drained, "(y/n)..."

you looked up at the night sky to prevent any more tears from falling. you took a deep breath and glared back at the girl who was starting to stand up and get ready to leave. "stay there!" you growled

she immediately sat down out of pure fear. 

"how long?" you asked renjun and maybe even his mistress.

"five months." renjun whispered in defeat.

you groaned and then you sobbed.  you fell to the floor and started crying so hard. you didn't care how bad you looked anymore. you just let out gasping wales. you held out your hand and choked in between sobs, "give- me back- my bracelet- whore."

the girl quickly shook off the bracelet on her wrist and scurried away from the complete mess. renjun tried to come near you but you took off your shoe and tried to throw it at him, which completely missed and landed in jaemin's pool. 

now that you think about it. you were so loud that jaemin and jeno came from inside and went to go see what was going on. 

you didn't let anyone touch you except for jeno because he was your older brother twin brother. he bent down to your level and extended his arms. you threw yourself in them and sobbed. "what's wrong?" he cooed.

"HIM! THAT BASTARD IS WHAT'S WRONG." you said yelled attempting to throw another shoe at him but ultimately jaemin stopped you. 

jaemin glared at renjun, "i thought we told you to fucking drop seunghee."

renjun looked down at the floor, "i did. and then she asked if we could give it another try."

jeno's eyes were filled with rage, "so you didn't break up with my sister first? that's fucked up. get out."

renjun scoffed, "this isn't your house. and you can't protect your sister from everything."

"that's it!" you screamed. you pushed yourself away from jeno's embrace and pushed renjun into the pool. 

again, everything after that was a blur. but when it came through and through you were worse than renjun. after you cried and sobbed to your mom she told you that it's okay to be resentful towards him. 

however, you were a little too resentful towards him. you sent pitiful texts asking him to go fuck himself or that he shouldn't be allowed to breathe. you thought you only gave him love and laughter. so you don't want the kind of pain he gave you, so you always wondered 'so why did you give it to me and leave?' and times without him felt like hell but you endured through them. 

now you finally knew that renjun was hurt even more by your words. so when he appeared in front of you and blocked the sun from reaching your eyes right now.

so the first thing that spilled from your lips was. "i'm sorry."

didn't know me ; huang renjunWhere stories live. Discover now