Muslim (Islam)

Chapter 1

PROLOGUE

Kawthar tightened her hijab as she consistently checked herself in the mirror touching each of her dark brown features.  She pulled on her jilbaab and finally hooked her backpack across her shoulder. Before her mother could call out her name; she ran out of the door. The walk to school was short but tedious and along the way Kawthar had pulled off her hijab and her jilbaab and stuffed it in her back mingling with the body of students. She quickly packed her poetic justice braids into one, smoothing out her jeans and long top and gave herself a one over in the giant school windows. Katie Evans bumped her shoulder playfully linking their arms together.

"Mason Montgomery has been asking of you." Katie winked but Kawthar didn't reply in fact she pondered why the guy was suddenly interested in her. He hadn't noticed her the whole year despite the fact she was the only black girl in the entire school.

"I don't like him like that." Who was she kidding everyone knew Mason was good looking, including herself but she has only ever looked at him once by mistake after dropping her books on the floor and he had picked it off the floor. She kept her gaze lowered at all times even in the presence of others, sometimes others mistake it as being rude but it was something she's been practising since she witnessed her sister Tawbah doing so. Kawthar may not act like a Muslim around school but she still practised the Sunnahs and tries to perfect her deen as much as possible. Now the guy made it is goal to talk to her every time to the point of fascination. The more she tries to blend into the background, the more it doesn’t go unnoticed by Mason which makes him more determined to speak to her.

"Are you crazy?!" Katie droned on flapping her arms in disbelief. She was tall, lean and of a Czech Republic descent with short, blond pixie hair. She was average looking in terms of what society considered average anyways, with beautiful eyes one green, the other hazelnut. Kawthar believed Katie was a rare jem only found in exquisite rock. The girl had latched onto her from the first day of school and had not let go. Kawthar knew Katie had a good heart but couldn't bring herself to tell her, she was a Muslim. For some reason since the 9/11 it seems her community were hostile towards Muslims, but funnily enough not just Muslims but black and she just happens to be a combination of the two. What’s worse no minorities in her town would ever step foot into Crossfield High which made her wonder why in the world did her parents send her here? She stood out like a goat in a swamp of angry crocodiles, very angry crocodiles.

She still didn't understand how she pulled it off, going this far with the secret. She didn't understand whether she was embarrassed to be a Muslim or whether it scared her, what her school mates would think but in all, Kawthar didn't want them to find out.

Behind the school walls her secret was safe, she was protected, Kawthar kept herself to herself besides Katie, no one knew she was a Muslim and no one asked. No one knew who she was and she was fine until that very day it all changed. It wasn’t a gloomy day like the movies like to create before dropping the inevitable and it wasn’t a pathetic fallacy as such, but it was a day of change- a bad one. Change never tells you before it arrive; it just slaps you hard in the face and tells you to deal with it.

Kawthar already had a hard time being the only black girl in school. She had faced prejudice numerous of times but things was different now, she had a friend. Once in a while someone still uttered the N word or called her a monkey but she ignored it. She learnt the hard way to keep her mouth shut than say a word. Kawthar wasn't physically weak but she preferred not to draw attention to herself.

"... Those Muslims are scum; my dad had to employ one over the weekend.” He shook his head. “Makes me sick that they mingle in our society." Kawthar's ears caught on to what Joseph Lee saying to John Hewitt; her heart sped as she progressed towards her locker. His dad was the head of the big bank in town and was considered a huge figure in their community. Sometimes people never fail to voice their sickening opinion, no matter how ghastly it is. Her school had a ‘No racism’ policy but it still deeply existed in the roots of the school especially in her town where minorities was small and is dominated by patriotism. As the school motto goes- God bless America, God bless Crossfield. She knew the society they lived in wasn’t as kind as they like to propose and in a school like hers, it was important to keep hush.

Kawthar continued her day as usual and it was a Wednesday and every Wednesday she went straight from school to Madrassah. Two blocks before her Quranic school She wore her jilbaab and hijab entering the Masjid (mosque). She felt this was the one place she could be herself. Kawthar loved her religion; she loved listening to surat ul Yusuf on repeat. She loved learning about signs of the last day, she loved reading the Qur’an with a calm and soothing voice and most especially she loved watching Islamic short films on YouTube. For some reason today the atmosphere in the mosque was different. The girls all seemed agitated and Kawthar didn't like it. She quickly went and sat with the gossiping girls and joined in the conversation.

"Did you hear Bin Yameen's brother was killed?" Kawthar gasped, her eyes widened. It couldn't be true Bilal couldn't be dead. It was impossible; she had spoken to him yesterday asking about his day, it was just over a month ago when he had graduated from Med School, she didn't believe it.

"Which Bin Yameen?"

"Bin Yameen Williams." Lulu answered and Kawthar felt bile forming in her throat, she felt angst and pain clenching onto her heart in desperation. She was in utter shock; she didn't notice the lazy tear than ran down her face. Bin Yameen was a close friend of hers and the Williams a close friend of the family. She and Bin Yameen had drifted apart once she moved to Crossfield high but they still talked once in a while especially Bilal who was like an older brother to her and a close friend of her own brother-Ilyaseen. The chatter continued and their teacher umm Khadija ushered the girls to stop.

"I know you've heard the news by now and it would be nice if you all made dua for the family and the deceased. Pray Allah forgives his sins and admits him to Jannah Al Firdaus. Pray Allah forgives your sins and make you the people of paradise, pray for a long life, pray that you die a Muslim and most especially pray we don’t face this kind of tragedy in our community ever again ." inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun (Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return) they all repeated. The girls bowed their heads and prayed in hush tones even umm Khadifa did so, a couple shed tears as the news and reality of the matter sank in, especially in Kawthar’s mind. She will never see Bilal again, he would never get to tease her or call her Kool Kaw. The Muslim community would get through this loss she knew they would after all they were tight knit and everyone knew each other.

When Kawthar got home, she ran to her mother hugging her tight, sobbing uncontrollably. Even her mother shed a tear or two. Her father had gone round to the Williams to offer his condolences. That night for the first time, they turned on the local news to listen to the report but there was no lead no nothing.

Kawthar had a bad feeling that seems to be festering with each passing minute. It was a strange feeling that seems to be eating at her worry and she was right to be worried because the following week another body was found, this one hit closer to home, this time it was her own flesh and blood: her sister.