I Can See the Stars

Chapter Four

I have not been sleeping. I keep staying up all night and right when I start to fall asleep, my alarm goes off. I keep thinking about everything.

My mom lied to me about something very big and she still will not show me the photos. I just want to know who my brother was. But, why did she freak out when I drew a photo of him? What about it scared her so much? I saw her face. She was mortified. I have never seen her show so much emotion. When I woke from my coma, she was crying but she was only crying. She wasn't talking, she let the doctors explain everything. After a weeks months, she started telling me things about Matthew. Small things that, slowly, over time, made me able to image his personality.

About personalities, I do not want to have to go and live with my dad. I barely know one thing about him. The only thing that mom told me was that he works for some construction company—he's an architect. He has a new wife, he told me that when he called me. The only time that he ever called me. He told me that his new wife, Erica, is pregnant with twin girls. Perfect, two baby girls to replace me, his broken daughter who forgot everything. And I might have to live with him. All I can say is that if I do have to live with him, I'm staying at home when Erica has the twins.

I kept thinking about Brightly too. No, not about Brightly. I just kept thinking, why did he want my phone number? Why does he want to be my friend so badly? A part of me thought that he had a crush on me. But that couldn't be possible. . . Right? I mean, jocks do not get crushes on loners. That only happens in cheesy romance books. Besides, no one has ever had a crush on me. (That I can remember.)

I added shading to my newest drawing. I really like this one. I started it yesterday during ISS. (Secretly.) It is of a girl, a random girl, with a wire crown; it is almost a halo. On the crown, there are planets, all different kinds and sizes. I only colored her eyes, I colored them like a galaxy. I used blues, purples, and beiges. And her pupils were in the shape of stars. I also made black stars all over the paper. She was pretty.

"Stars and planets. I didn't think that you were that kind of girl" Brightly sat down on his desk and swung his legs over so his feet were on his chair. He was wearing his swim team sweatshirt, which was strange because it was quite warm outside. He also had some black aviator sunglasses on. "By the way, I still don't know your name."

I set my book down and looked at him "I guess that you have earned the privilege of knowing  my name."

"Oh, it's a privilege. Okay."

I held out my hand for him to shake. "It's Frankie. Frankie Sue-Ellen Finnegan."

He shook my hand. "Alright, Frankie-Sue. Can I see your drawing?" He sat down in his chair and beckoned me to give him the sketchbook.

"Right after you tell me why you're wearing sunglasses."

He pursed his lips and looked at the ground. "I'm just trying to be a cool guy." I could tell that he was lying but I don't feel like pushing him.

Quickly, I mentally debate whether or not I should give him the sketch. Hesitantly, I hand him the book. I've never shown anyone but my mom and Cora my drawings, and sometimes Ms. Goldwater.

He studied it. "What did you use to color the eyes?"

"Oh, I have these watercolor pens. My dad, who lives in Indiana, bought them because my mom and I couldn't afford them. It was a present for waking up. . . I guess."

"Wow, he came all the way from Indiana to give you pens?"

"No. He mailed them." She looked to the floor. "I don't even know my father."

"Right. . . Because of the accident?"

"Yeah. And now Mackenzie and her parents are threatening to sue me because I broke her ankle. And if they do and they win the case then I might have to go and live with him. And. . . And I can't—Ugh." I buried my face in my hands and tried to keep my tears from falling. Then I remembered myself. I lifted my head back up, wiped my tears away, and snatched my sketchbook back.