Things I Wanted To Say But Never Did

It's Been Years Yet I'm Still Hung Up On You (4)

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I still have no idea why am I so hung up on you. I give perfect advice on how to move on but I'm unable to move on myself. I missed you and it stings every time I want to say it but I can't, my mind stops me from doing so because it is sure that's the wrong thing to do.

"But maybe he misses me too?" -The heart says to my mind.

"Silly girl, why would he? He's got others to keep him company." -The mind chuckles lightly in sarcasm.

"But he'll choose me because he knows I'm the only one who loved and still do love him truly with no regrets or remorse." -The heart cried.

I still cannot picture the idea of you not being in my life, I need you and my heart is hungry for your existence. I'm struggling to share my feelings openly into this white sheet of paper, I'm struggling to write how I feel without feeling guilty about myself about it. Why didn't he give me a chance, though? I would've made him the happiest in the world with my love.

I keep on daydreaming about him through each and every situation, creating him in my mind is one of the most securing feelings in the world; I could feel his presence around me. When reality hits me and I can no longer feel him around, I feel devastated; I'm unable to tell him how I truly feel because I'm sure he doesn't feel the same way. He made me emotionally sick, my mind isn't in the right place anymore ever since I fell head over heels for him. I'm sick with the love I have for him and his heart is the only cure.

I missed him and I still love him, I hope one day he wakes up and just realizes that he wants me as much as I want him too.

Yes, I may sound selfish but you're everything I needed to feel like myself again, to feel loved and valued for who I am. Yes, I may be stupid for letting a guy decide my self love and worth but what could I do? I'm unable to love myself, even he doesn't love me back, how should I?