Roisa is endgame, no matter what

Relapse

Luisa's eyes were filled with tears but she tried to keep them back-Push her intimidation, fear, and grief aside to be with the person that loves her most and that she loves most. Her throat tightened and she could barely breathe but she didn't want Rose to realize that. So she gasped and hardly pressed two words out of her mouth 'Rose I' - as she felt her heart jumping and herself losing her consciousness. She fell onto the ground and buried her face in her hands. Luisa had never really healed from the depression and insecurity and anxiety as well as panic that drove her into alcoholism but she tried to suppress it for her family's sake. But this time she couldn't- she didn't know what to do because losing the last family she had left.. it just felt like a piece of her heart was ripped out of her chest and could never be returned. She suddenly felt the void again.. it couldn't be filled if it wasn't for alcohol. Rose had stared at Luisa on the ground for ten seconds as she caught herself crying. Her voice kept cracking but it had reappeared. 'Lu, Lu? What's wrong baby?'
Luisa couldn't answer. In fact, she didn't even hear Rose screaming in panic. Both hadn't panicked in about 6 years. Luisa sobbed loudly while Rose just stood there not knowing whether to pull Luisa into her embrace and rock her till she finds her calm again or to leave her alone because it's been all her fault.. she was the reason Luisa felt this void again. For Luisa, it felt like someone poked a hole into her heart that only alcohol could fill and Rose was aware of that but she didn't wanna be vulnerable once again she just couldn't let the emotions come through. But nevertheless Rose couldn't help it anymore. She pulled Luisa closer and petted her arms and rocked her. Luisa didn't resist melting into Rose's embrace, she just sobbed and cried and bawled her eyes out. As she became conscious again she felt her breath normalizing a bit, her heart began to beat slower but she couldn't stop sighing nor longing for something to fill the void. She didn't wanna hurt Rose because she loved her more than she loved her life but Rose couldn't make her feel fulfilled at the very moment. Rose gently caressed Luisa's face and Luisa couldn't resist melting into Rose's hand once again she just couldn't resist the attraction of Rose... but she still felt empty. 'Rose, I'm sorry but I need to be alone now, do you think anyone could drive me to the closest village?' 'Excuse me Lu, did I get you right? You wanna leave me?!' stuttered Rose. 'NO Rose I ain't gonna leave you ever again- I just wanna take a quick walk and feel civilized again' she mumbled. Luisa was an excellent actress. She was lying and deep inside Rose knew she wasn't gonna take a quick walk but nonetheless she called the two bartender bodyguards from the bar to protect Luisa, back when fake Rose met Luisa. In addition, she called her driver to pick Luisa up and bring her wherever she wants to go. 'Luisa.. please don't go- please come back. Lu-' 'sh' interrupted Luisa Rose's bargaining. She tucked two hair strands behind Rose's ear and gave her a loving kiss on the forehead. Luisa was capable of tricking Rose. Rose was a complete sucker for Luisa. She believed everything she said. But Luisa only thought about how to fill the void. ' Take the mask' commanded Rose. 'Yes ma'am' replied Luisa. Luisa took the mask and was picked up 5 minutes later. She couldn't look Rose in the eyes. It just hurt. Rose stole her heart and she lost control every time they touched. Me and my addictions she thought as they arrived in the first village. Luisa told them to only pick her up when she tells them to and sent them away more or less aggressively. 'I got my phone, I'm an adult and you can now leave me alone' she angrily said but at the same moment, she already felt bad for what she said. Luisa strongly longed for something as soothing as a glass full of wine. This village was tiny but it had had two small bars. She entered the first one and sat down next to another mid-age woman. Her hair was blackish and extremely curly, her skin reminded Luisa of the glistening snow which Rose and she had looked at just about some hours ago. In this village, there wasn't any snow at all but it was cold. Luisa had put on a black jumpsuit before she left. She turned towards the woman to examine her. Her eyes were a  deep dark shade of green and she wore a wine-colored lipstick. She wasn't Luisa's type and she'd never flirt with any woman but Rose but there was something about that woman awakening Luisa's curiosity. I can't throw away all the years of work I put into not drinking and remaining sober she reminded herself but her chest began to tighten up and the hole in her heart began to feel bigger and bigger. Luisa swallowed..' I'd like a glass of wine' she stuttered. A half-minute later she sipped her wine as it felt like the wound was slowly healing again. The good old times she joked in her mind... Four more glasses of wine later she felt like she had crossed the line way too far already but she felt so well she couldn't stop drinking. She turned around the same time as the woman next to her did and they looked into each others' eyes. 'You got some pretty eyes' mumbled the apparently pretty tipsy girl. 'Thank you too' said Luisa, not realizing the mistake she just made. The girl burst out laughing. 'My name is Claire' she explained. 'I'm Luisa' Luisa felt immensely bad for even talking to another woman but Rose. Claire tucked a strand of Luisa's long and shining brown hair behind her ear. Luisa started back as she quietly screamed ' two sh-hots please' The girl smiled at Luisa and bit her lip. Luisa's mind screamed 'ROSE, ROSE... I need her. She's the only one I love.' Claire lifted Luisa's chin with one finger and pulled her closer. Their lips met for a second but Luisa gently pushed the girl away as she drank her shot. 'Sheers' said Luisa. 'Cheers' said Claire and swallowed her shot. She blushed slightly. ' So.. tell me something about you beautiful' she teased Luisa. She had to swallow one more time. She felt so bad that she longed for kissing this stranger girl. Luisa smartly changed the subject. 'It's your turn Claire.', she claimed. 'Bartender... we would like four other whisgey sh..ots' shouted Claire. They drank the other shots just as quickly but now Luisa couldn't stop thinking about Rose. She's been so loving, so caring, so beautiful and she gave up on crime just for her. Thinking about her, she bit her lip.
She could feel Claire's hand grabbing her face once again. Apparently she was sending out the wrong signals while she just imagined Rose was the one taking care of her. Why then, did Rose let her go? She knew she would secretly drink right? She knew she was gonna have a relapse because she's still been unstable. She had realized that but she didn't ask Luisa about it because they've seemingly been happy because she wanted to give Luisa what she had promised. As Claire's lips met hers she didn't fight her anymore. She lacked will power because she's clearly been drunk. Claire's hands moved up and down her back. The moment she felt a harsh squeeze on her butt, she realized what she was doing. 'Claire, I... I can't. I shouldn't have let you do this. Sorry, I'm.. -she sobbed- I'm not interested.. I'm drunk.. I' -shht- said Claire. 'It's okay Luisa, I get it. I'm not your type'
Luisa giggled 'You're right.. you really aren't but it's not that. It's me'
Tears ran down her face but she quickly wiped them away. She apologized once more as she stumbled out of the bar and slipped around the corner. She sank down onto her knees and yelled at herself while she nervously shoved from the left to the right. 'Why did I do this.. I messed up the llast and the only thinggI had. The only berson I love?!' Everyone could certainly realize she was drunk but no one's been around.
She only had a blurry vision but she still remembered her passcode. She tried twice until she entered 0407 in extra slow motion. Luisa's fingers slipped over her phone but she could still handle to dial Rose's number. She inhaled deeply and swallowed as Rose picked up. Luisa didn't say anything. -Silence- 'Rose?', cried Luisa. Rose immediately knew something was wrong. 'I'm already on my way babe. I love you!' Rose pushed the accelerator and rushed towards the village. It wasn't far away. She had been worried the whole entire time. She had already texted Luisa a thousand times asking her how she's been. She even called her and left a voicemail saying 'Luisa... I don't know where you are! I'm a concerned sweetheart. Tell me that you're ok!!' Rose was breaking down ever since Luisa left because it was all her fault. She should let Luisa go, let her be happy because she knew she deserved it and deep in her heart she knew that Luisa couldn't become entirely happy with her.. well at least she feared that.
Luisa fainted but luckily, Claire ran after her and took good care of her.
Well, she didn't know about Rose. If she did she probably wouldn't have held and squeezed Luisa's hand. Rose arrived and she looked like her eyeballs were falling out of her head. Claire let go of Luisa's hand immediately because she could see Rose's furious facial expression. 'I'm going to take care of my GIRLFRIEND.' She angrily emphasized the 'girlfriend'. 'She doesn't need you anymore. Thanks for taking care of her' she said still sounding extremely mad. She lifted Luisa up and carried her into the car. Furthermore, she hurriedly ripped off Luisa's face mask and gently shook her to wake her up. She smelled like whiskey and her mascara was smudged under her eyes. Luisa woke up and was immediately scared to death. 'C..c..can you please squeeze my arm Rose, I think I'm dreaming!' she yelled. Rose grabbed the steering wheel and pushed the accelerator. She drove another minute and then stopped the car near a parking spot in the forest. 'Lu, you're not dreaming. You were drinking.. again.. after you were sober for six years. A tear ran down Rose's cheek. She didn't wanna reproach Luisa. Luisa wiped Rose's tear away. Both were shaking. 'I start to believe we don't bring the best in each other out anymore. I don't want you to be hurt anymore Lu. I never wanted you to feel pain.
'It's not you' she stuttered. I never really healed from the depression Rose. It's alwaysh been there.'
Rose pulled her into her embrace and rocked her till she fell asleep and snored more or less peacefully. She took make up remover wipes and removed the mascara off her under eyes. As they arrived at the cottage she undressed Luisa washed her hair and body and put on a mint green t-shirt dress of Rose's. She even carefully brushed Luisa's teeth. She knew Luisa wouldn't wake up because she never does when she's drunk. She hoped Luisa wouldn't remember what happened and that's why she removed every small hint to what happened because she didn't want Luisa to feel bad nor to have her feel pain again.
She laid her onto the bed and covered her with two blankets cause she knew she would have cold sweats and feel extremely bad and hungover the next morning. She laid down next to her lover and hugged her tightly as her eyelids slowly shut.
In the middle of the night, Luisa woke up to Rose standing at the open window staring at the moon and quietly crying.

To be continued...