The Butterfly Keeper

23

TWENTY-THREE

OCTOBER CAME to a quick end. I've been keeping track in a small notebook I found in one of the drawers in the kitchen by drawing out a mediocre calendar. Today is the first of November, and I sketched a tiny outline of a leaf beside the box I crossed off with the number one in the corner.

I didn't realize being trapped in between four walls can make time pass through my fingers like water. I haven't seen much of Sebastian around during these last days. He's been keeping mostly to himself and being inside the shed, which I find weird because I expected him to act different, especially since I accepted what he had proposed. I thought he would be clingy or push me into sculpting again, but he's been so consumed by whatever is in that shed to my relief.

I do wonder what's inside but the idea of Sebastian being occupied with something not having to do anything with me, gives me enough closure to not prey.

Wedging a pencil into the inside cover of the notebook, I close it and slip it inside the pillowcase of the back pillow on the bed. There's really no point of me hiding it, but it makes me feel at confront knowing it's there for me.

I get up from off the floor and bend down to wipe off the mixture of sand and dust sticking onto my knees. A door opens from outside and I stand up straight, swift, and push the front of my hair back. I hear Sebastian's steps echo louder and louder as he nears me and watch how the doorknob rattles, obviously struggling to open the door.

It takes him a second, but once the door opens, Sebastian walks in slowly with his eyes sprinting all around before settling on me, and smiles.

"What are you doing?"

It's a innocent question, but I can't help but hear suspicion behind it. I'm standing in the middle of the room with hands placed beside me rigid and feet set awkwardly apart. I look like I have something to hide but there's no uncertainty on Sebastian, he looks unbothered.

Maybe, I'm just overthinking.

"Nothing," I answer. "Why?"

Sebastian's smile inches wider. "Good, come on."

"What?" Perplexed, I scratch my forearm and clench my stomach. He takes notice of my fiddly movements and dims his smile so that his face looks more at ease and mellow.

"Remember awhile back I said I was going to take you out to the water?" Sebastian pauses, waiting for me respond or at least look like I know what he's talking about. He continues when he sees nothing from me. "Well, today's the day."

He tilts his head at me and waits for me again to say something. I do remember, and I know Sebastian does too, but he wants some kind of approval from my part. I remain quiet and flicker my eyes to the door, signaling for him to walk out first.

Sebastian runs his tongue over his bottom and then nods, finally understanding, and walks out of the bedroom with me following behind. As he's about to step out of the house, Sebastian glances over his shoulder to reassure that I'm still there. He pushes the door and holds it open for me to walk out first, but I nudge my head for him to go first.

He mumbles an 'okay' under his breath and continues striding ahead. I really don't feel like being around him today, but I keep reminding myself eight months is better than forever. I have to, at least, attempt to keep Sebastian happy, even if it doesn't make me feel good. Going through with what he wants to do is the only way to make the days pass by even faster, and make things easier on myself.