Tonight's Tennants {Bandom Halloween Fic}

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Pairings: Jon/Spencer, Ryan/Brendon, Pete/Patrick, implied Pete/Ryan.

AN: This is my first 'crack!fic' (are those a thing anymore) and really, it wasn't supposed to be one, and it also wasn't supposed to be the story of Pete Wentz, the psycho manager of a dirty hotel full of insane staff. It also wasn't supposed to be a Halloween fic, but why not? I'm not sure if I'll continue it or not though. 

Warnings: Swearing, sexual jokes, really really unfunny jokes im so sorry.

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The constant smell of weed and vomit with a hint of various rat-spread diseases was a combination Pete could never really get used to. Every time he thought he had, the over-powering scent was increased by more weed, vomit and rat-spread diseases.

In the first year of Pete's reign as manager in the most unappealing hotel this side of Vegas - there was apparently a much worse one on the other side, according to Pete - he had believed that he wouldn't be working in the hotel long enough to have to get used to it.

Five years on however, Pete's come to terms with the fact that he could very well die in this place but he will still not be used to it. And the smell most certainly won't change. Even in his final breath the smell will undoubtedly still be just as strong and slightly disgusting as it is today. In fact, his decaying body will be doomed to forever linger in the foul smell, because it will certainly be added to the pile of other decaying bodies in the motel.

There's a room full of them on the third floor, after all. Pete keeps meaning to clean it out before he gets in trouble with the police or something. He needs to go shout at the cleaner sometime today anyway; he always does.

Pete gets up from his desk in his office at the back of the motel, that he hopes will someday upgrade into a hotel - although that would mean extra work -, and makes his way along the ground floor to the cleaner's supply cupboard.

He knocks on the door, a strange tune he made up on the spot because Pete is a musical genius. When there's no answer, he knocks again.

By his 34th knock, Pete's composed a new hit song and decides that he's given the cleaner enough warning, so he opens the door.

The familiar smell of decay hits him as soon as the door is pulled open, but he's used to that smell. It's certainly strange how someone can get used to the smell of a 9 hour old dead body but not the permanently lingering concoction of odours from weed, vomit and a hint of rat spread diseases.

He smells it so often that Pete decides he probably should have called the motel that instead.

Yes, "9 Hour Old Dead Body" does have a ring to it. HE should tell Spencer to get right on it. After all, that is the job of an assistant manager like Spencer; not an important manager-man like Pete.

Maybe he should tell Spencer to get everyone to call him 'Important Manager-Man Pete' while he's at it.

Not right now though, he needs to find a new cleaner... and someone to haul away this dead body. Usually the cleaner would have done it but he can't because he's dead and Pete is so not doing it because touching a dead body?

Fucking gross.

So he backs out of the death infused cupboard and has to make a choice between calling Ryan, his intern, or Spencer, the assistant manager.

He's pretty sure Spencer hates him and he cannot take another bitch-face today, he just can't. Besides, Ryan totally has a thing for Pete.

Pete gets out his fancy new Nokia 3310 and logs into his old AOL account to 'shoot Ryan a message' as the kids would say.