Chapter One-Memories

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I've always wondered: If you lose all your memories, then are you a different person? Technically, yes. If you don't have any of the experiences you did before you lost your memories, then your personality will be different. An extension of that is who you're friends with, what your favourite things are. In short, everything about you and your life is decided by your memories. So- if you lose your memories, everything that you've built up to a certain point... Who are you? Are you the person that you were before you lost your memories? Are you the person that you are after you make new memories? 

A month ago, I woke up in a hospital bed with a girl sitting next to me. She comforted me, looked at me with loving eyes. Those eyes... They were deep, and blue like the sea, but with a sharpness to them, a spark of intelligence. I didn't remember anything about those eyes. She told me that I was her lover, that I'd promised to go out with her... That we'd spend our whole high-school lives together. When I saw the keychain, with the little cards on it, she told me that she'd made it. So why didn't I remember her? Such a big part of my life... A lover, a friend all the way through high-school. 

As much as I wracked my brain, I couldn't conjure up one memory of her. It got worse, though. The next day, I was discharged from the hospital, in a wheelchair, only to be greeted by two people who called themselves my family. Family? As far as my memories were concerned, I had no family. And yet... There they were. A younger sister and an older brother... How could I have forgotten them? What could have put me under such mental strain that I would forget about the only family I had left? We took a photo, along with some blond-haired girl who said she was my friend, and also a celebrity. I'm sure by now you know the drill. I didn't recognise her.

I said that I was excited for the future, for what was to come. But how could I be excited about a future surrounded by people I barely knew? It was terrifying. Walking through streets where people kept recognising me, but I didn't know them. I had to smile and nod, pretend that everything was okay. But it wasn't. Who was I? Why did I forget everything? I became convinced that my 'friends' were hiding something from me. They had told me everything about my life, but for some reason, very little was said about my high-school life. Why?

That was when the nightmares started. Dreams of wearing an old hoodie, and beating up thugs in dark back alleys, eating something sweet. It tasted like chicken, but then again, it was dream food, how was I supposed to know what it was? I had one, extremely vivid, nightmare, where I was standing over a man, holding a skewer in my hand. I was about to stab  his eye out. And, impossibly, in that moment, I wanted to do it. I wanted to see the blood pour out of his mangled eyes socket, see the other thugs scream in horror and scramble away. I wanted see every last moment and relish it. 

I knew that these nightmares must have been from my lost memories... But why? Why would I have acted that way? What could have driven me to be so sadistic and cold? The nightmares became more frequent, and I began seeing more glimpses into a life which I almost couldn't believe was my own. I'd had some sort of superpower, at least... That's what it seemed. I had one nightmare where I was laying in bed, voices coming at me from all angles. They wouldn't stop.. I felt like my head was splitting open.

"What should I have for lunch today? I wonder i I can still catch the train... The girl is pretty hot..." I screamed for them to stop, but they just kept getting louder. They were thoughts, I realized. Other people's thoughts, that I was listening to. I didn't want to hear them! I didn't need to know what they were thinking! "BE QUIET! BE QUIET! BE QUIET!!" The phone rang, but, as my mind slowly succumbed to the insanity of the voices, my power expanded, and shattered it.

"Hey! Yu-Kun!" I look up, realising that I've probably been silent for too long, mulling over my fragmented memories. It's Nao, my girlfriend. "Oh- uh. Hey, Nao-Chan. What is it?" Nao sticks out her bottom lip, in mock anger. "Weren't you listening?" I shake my head sheepishly, and she smacks me on the back of the head. "H-Hey! Cut it out! What were you saying?" Nao sighs, sitting back down on the couch. "I was SAYING," She begins, emphasising her words and looking at me pointedly, "That we should go on a date sometime! Isn't that what lovers do?" I smile weakly. "Well, yeah, but-"

Nao shuts me up by putting a finger in front of my lips. "No buts! I don't care if you're still in this stupid wheelchair, we're gonna go on a fancy date, like NORMAL people!" She says normal like we're not, and I wonder if that has anything to do with our past. "Uh- I guess I can't refuse then, can I?" Nao nods enthusiastically. I can't help but wonder what she was lik before we began dating. I imagine Nao being the Tsundere type, but how can I tell if I can't remember anything? 

"Where do you want to go, then? On this date, I mean?" Nao contemplates my question, before grabbing my hand. "I know!" She doesn't continue, leading me to pursue the answer myself. "So.. Where?" Nao's smile widens, and I smile too. Her happiness is infectious. "The pancake restaurant we used to go to! Remember?" That wasn't a tactful thing to say. I stop smiling. "Erm- No. I don't remember." Nao instantly draws back, realising what she has just said.

"You took us there.. Me, and the rest of the school council at our high-school. You said that a girl from your last school took you there, as a thank you." I frown, and then realise that this is a chance to dig for more information on my past. "A thank you for what?" Nao answers, totally calm. "You saved her life. A massive truck almost crashed into her, but you got her out of it's path." As much as this information is interesting, I realise that it won't lead me anywhere. Any high-school kid could save a girl from a truck. While it's definitely out-of-the-ordinary, there's nothing supernatural about it.

I guess I'll have to do a little digging on my own, then. After the date, of course.


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⏰ Last updated: Aug 08, 2019 ⏰

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