lifeless // l.s.

chapter one

landfill / daughter

A picture is slapped down on the desk in front of me, interrupting my daydream. It's a picture of the group, Niall, Zayn, Liam, and Louis. I'm awkwardly standing beside Lou, but we're still standing together, which will most likely cause chaos in the One Direction fandom.

"What have we told you about this?" Terry inquires, crossing his arms over his protruding stomach.

"You aren't supposed to be placed beside Louis Tomlinson in a photo. Now how hard can that be?" he shakes his head at me.

Terry Briar is apart of Modest! Management. He has a wife and two kids. They live in a cottage on the outskirts of town. I've been to his house for a mandatory meeting before. It's a humble abode but too normal. Terry is too worried about keeping his position on Modest to keep up his marriage, so I'm expecting it will end soon.

"Harry, are you even listening?" he steps in front of my line of vision.

"What?" I snap, giving him an annoyed look.

He closes his eyes stressfully.

"Just....don't let it happen again. Please? It puts all of us at risk," he sighs.

What about my risks?

"Oh sure, no problem," I give him a sarcastic smile.

He gives a deep sigh.

"You may leave now," he motions to the door.

I stand up from the uncomfortable chair and walk towards the door, thankful to get out of the room.

"Harry, one more question," he stops me right in front of the door.

I turn around to find him chuckling to himself, holding his phone out in front of him.

"Do you ship Elounor?" he asks.

I grumble a 'go fuck yourself' under my breath before turning around and slamming the door shut, probably giving him the response he wanted.

I hurry over to the elevator on the end of the hallway passing the multitudes of office doors. Once I get to the elevator, I push the button. It dings too soon and opens to reveal a man. My whole body becomes tense at the sight of him. He looks thinner than when I last saw him at the end of the tour. His cheeks are sunken in and he looks gloomy as his face lifts up and I stare into his eyes. Those orbs used to look lively and happy. I picture us laughing together. How they used to light up and crinkle on the sides every time I'd do something goofy. I almost smile.

His eyes turn hard and cold. His grimace doesn't faulter as he glances at me, hurting my heart in the process. He stalks passed me quickly, keeping his head down.

I walk onto the elevator and turn around, watching him knock onto the same door I just came out of. He has allowed his hair to grow out, just like mine. It looks greasy like he hadn't bathed in days.

He must be getting a no-standing-beside-harry-in-pictures lecture from Terry. As he waits, he stares at his feet while I stare into him from the elevator. It dings and the doors slowly start closing, but right before they shut, Louis glances down the hallway.

For one split second, I see a sad smile on his face.

But it was enough to make my heart ache, my mind anxious, and my stomach fill with butterflies.

The elevator takes its precious time moving down the floors. Finally, it dings to a stop, and the doors separate. I walk into the quiet lobby and quickly slide my black sunglasses on. Before I walk out into the London streets, I flip my hood up over my head.

I adjust my scarf as the icy breeze flies onto me after I open the large glass door. I zip my leather jacket up to my neck and shove my hands into my pockets, quickly passing busy people on the sidewalk. I parked my car a few blocks down in an alley so I head towards that direction. It was already turning dark when I walked into the Modest building for my assigned meeting, so now the bright moon was out, a contrast across the black sky. The stars were clouded by London's pollution, but the moon shone brightly through the fog. I hurry as I turn the last block, trying to avoid people.

I finally reach the alley and jump into my Porsche. After I turn the ignition, I switch on the heat and click the power button for the disc player. A random disc plays and I turn the volume up too high as the beat escalates, blocking out all thoughts. I spin out of the alley onto the London streets.

The traffic isn't bad, but there are many vehicles parked on the sides of the roads. I turn on the street leading to the closest bar.

My phone buzzes in my jacket pocket; I look at the caller ID. Gemma's calling.

I throw my phone into the passenger seat.

I had forced myself to push my big sister away. If I did something drastic to escape from this cruel world, I didn't want her to get hurt too much.

The phone stops buzzing. I sigh, a sign of emotion almost slipping out of my eye, but anger replaces it immediately. That's how I've become, angry.

I turn to the side to park. After I've stopped the car, I take the key out of the ignition and open the door, sliding out of my car.

The brisk winter air causes me to shiver as I walk onto the sideway to join the many people going out on a Saturday night. As I walk towards the bar, I think about where all of these people are at in their lives. I wonder what they're thinking. But I never ask.

Once I'm to the entrance of the bar, I instantly smell the stench of alchol. I hate the taste of any type of alchol from beer to vodka to Bloody Mary's, but I come here for one thing and one thing only.

To forget.

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