Secret Sky

4.

"Do you like looking at the night sky, kid?"

I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry when I heard that question. I decided it won't be any use doing either of those things.

"I think the sky betrayed me. I went after it with all my heart and it took everything from me. If it were up to me, I would never look up towards it again. If only I could turn my face away right now. This is torture."

"What? I love the night sky! I wish I could look at it for a while before my time ends."

"Why don't you, then?"

"You see, I consider you very lucky right now."

"Because I think looking at this sky is torture?"

"No."

"Why can't you look at the sky?"

"Because I'm in a situation similar to yours. The difference in our situations however is that while your gaze is stuck pointing towards the sky, mine is fixed towards a tree."

"Trees hate me more than I hate the sky."

I heard the man chuckle as if he knew what trees had done to me.

"Hey Kid, how does the moon look?"

"It looks like a thin bent branch."

"Are there any clouds?"

"No."

"Good. The stars must look especially pretty then."

They did look prettier than usual.

"Have you ever seen the night sky dance, kid?"

Now I really wanted to look at this man and see who he was.

"I have. I mean, I don't really know about dancing but I did see it move in a very weird way. But that only happened once."

"Would you like to see it again?"

"I would."

"Then stop talking to me or anyone else in your head and really see the sky."

Really see the sky. Okay. Shut myself off from voices and look. As if through instinct, I understood what he meant when he said really seeing.

To my astonishment, it worked. The sky slowly started to swirl and the stars formed a spiral above me. A hole formed in the middle of that spiral and the sky began to slowly sink into it. There it was. I blinked as little as possible so I won't miss a thing. I didn't even have to worry about any angry tree that'll throw me to the ground this time. The hole got wider and wider as if to make room for more stars. I could feel through myself that the hole was a portal to the center of the universe. I wasn't able to enter it but I felt honored to be able to be present at the gate and witness all of its glory. Tears started drenching my cheeks and my heart had never throbbed this hard.

"You're Abram, aren't you?"

"Well, yes and no."

"Then who are you?

"I am the night sky, you and everything between you too."

This time this answer didn't annoy me. I smiled. My tears tickled my face but I couldn't wipe them off. I stared at the swirling sky for hours.

"Is this your beloved Secret Sky?"

"Ignore all noise and distractions, around you and within you. When you do that and really look into the sky with proper curiosity for its beauty, it gives you a gift. It becomes even more magnificent than it usually is. It wants you to look at it. It even starts moving to keep you interested. It gives proof of the vastness of the universe and ensures how insignificant we are in comparison. However, despite our tiny size, it also makes sure we understand that we're not unimportant. Take joy in the fact that you can see the Secret Sky! It dances only for those that it thinks deserve its performance."

No one said a word for some time after that. After an hour or so I broke the silence.

"You're not really here are you? Am I talking to a ghost or a spirit? Or am I just talking to myself? You told me to stop talking to you or anyone else in my head. Are you just a figment of my imagination?"

"There is a man in your village that really hates me. He hated me so much that he banished me from his village. Even though he wasn't sure if I really even existed, he taught people to be very careful about me."

"You're probably talking about the village elder"

"The village elder? That kid?"

"Kid? How long ago did you meet him?"

"Probably a long time ago if he's an elder now. He couldn't turn off the noise from his mind even though he had seen the Secret Sky twice by luck. He got so frustrated with not being able to see the gates to the center that he promised that no one else will see them either."

"I would've showed him a thing or two if I could go back now."

"Then why don't you? Go and fix what he's ruined."

"Have you forgotten the situation we're in now?"

"What situation?"

"I'm totally incapable of going anywhere, Abram. I'll die here."

"No you won't."

Something clicked.

"I'm hearing answers from you that I want to hear. You must really be in my head."

"You're not hearing answers that you want to hear, kid. You're hearing those that you need to hear. About your incapability of doing anything, you want to know the best thing about the night?"

"Sure."

"The best part about an ongoing night is that it always comes to an end, and when it does, it makes way for a new day and through this new day, a new beginning."

I don't know how that was supposed to help me but I believed him. I finally closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, I found out that I was lying under the tree that I thought had thrown me into the stream. I jumped to my feet in shock.

I jumped to my feet?

I inspected my body and to my surprise, there were no injuries. I was absolutely fine. What I saw last night was too vivid to be a dream, though. I ran downstream in hopes of finding where I met Abram. I paced swiftly for many hours until it started to get dark. I must've really dreamt that. I was relieved that I was going to live but I started doubting this journey's objectives now.

Night started to creep in. I decided to lie down and rest myself. As my back touched the ground, I realized how tired my journey had gotten me. My belly is shouting at me to feed it and my legs are vibrating from fatigue. However, lying down allows me to see the sky above me and marvel at how enchantingly beautiful it can be. This is a special night. I can feel it. There is no moon in the sky and only the shine of the stars light the world around me and the path to my destination.

I close my eyes and clear my mind. When I feel a powerful silence in my head, I open my eyes and see what the canvas of the universe has to offer tonight.

"Ignore all noise and distractions, around you and within you. When you do that and really look into the sky with proper curiosity for its beauty, it gives you a gift."

He was right. The Dancing Night, Gate to the Center, Secret Sky. Whatever I want to call it. There it was. The swirling sky that took me on a journey.