Crave || Harry Styles (on hold)

0.15 || Fall

"Can't take my eyes off, can't take my hands off you." (Fall- The Vamps)

~

I was sweating when I jolted awake. I felt restricted before I realized that Harry had his arms wrapped around me. My breathing was quick and my body heat built up swiftly. My eyes searched frantically through the blackness, landing on Harry's face.

"Flower?" Harry mumbled, his eyes fluttering open before he squinted through the darkness trying to pinpoint my face. "What's wrong?"

My hands shook under the covers and tears began to roll down my face.

"Lily?" Harry was wide awake now, watching me break down in front of him.

"It was just a dream," I sobbed. I could feel my chest shaking with my sobs. My whole body felt like it would fall apart.

Harry sat up in the bed, the covers falling off his torso. He scooped me up and cradled me against his chest.

"Sh, sh," he murmured quietly. "It was just a dream." I could barely hear him over my sobbing, but the words registered, making me cry harder.

"Thats the problem," I croaked out, before burying my head in his chest.

"What do you mean?" Harry mumbled, obviously confused.

My dream was of home, safe, hugging my mom and seeing my friends and me. It was a simple dream, just their smiling faces and mine, but it was before any of this happened, when I was happy.

"It was a happy dream," I choked out. Harry's shirt was nearly soaked with my tears. I gripped it tightly in my fist, holding on for dear life.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Harry offered. I shook my head against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and stroked my hair.

Eventually, my heart rate lowered and my sobs stopped, leaving my cheeks sticky with dry tears and eyes puffy. Harry still held me tightly to his chest, protecting me from whatever he thought was hurting me in my head.

I leaned into his warmth and his arms squeezed me tighter. I pressed my eyes closed, but images of my family and friends flashed behind them. I decided to keep them open, to try and distract myself from the pain they caused.

I gazed up at Harry through the darkness while he looked down at me.

I should have wanted to hit him, the one who caused all this pain; without him those images wouldn't hurt me, but all I wanted to do was kiss him.

So I did.

He was surprised when I reached up, molding my face to his. I tangled my hands in his hair, forcing us together. His warmth surrounded me, filling in my missing pieces, easing the pain.

He fell back onto the bed, letting me straddle him as his hands gripped my waist. I pressed my entire body against him. I could feel every nerve ending buzzing with the high of the kiss.

I detached my lips from his, kissing down his jawline to his neck before burying my face there. Our breathing was heaving and I felt dizzy from the loss of air.

His body fit with mine naturally, as if he had been made to fit the contours of my body.

I lifted my face from the curvature of his neck and rolled off of his chest before snuggling myself into his side. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer, before kissing the top of my head.

We lay in silence for a few moments. Through the window, the pink hues of the sunrise began to reveal themselves, coating the room in a baby pink light. Slowly, the colors changed, from pink to orange until the sun showed its entire self, brightening the room.

Harry's voice broke the peaceful silence of the morning.

"I guess now isn't the best time to tell you," he informed me quietly. "But, Niall is coming over tonight to discuss business."

Memories from the night Niall had been over played through my mind. I never knew I could make so many mistakes in such a short span of time. 

"Is Cindy coming?" I lifted my head to look at his face, eager to see my new friend again. Much to my disappointment, he shook his head.

"Niall got rid of her," he mumbled. The words were barely audible even in the silence of the room.

"What do you mean 'got rid of'?" my voice shook with the question, quite scared to know the answer.

"Sent her home," he told me, causing my anxiety to decrease. Cindy was fine.

"Home?" It was hard to hide the hope in my voice. Harry nodded stiffly.

I couldn't help the flicker of hope inside me to ignite into a huge flame, fueling the fantasy of my home.

Harry read the emotions in my face. He obviously knew what was running through my mind, so I tried to even my features and act more natural.

"Niall is very," Harry spoke, choosing his words carefully. "Unattached, so to speak. He lets things go very easily."

My flame burnt out, leaving charcoal residue in my lungs, making it hard to breath, and a sour taste in my mouth.

Harry was nothing like Niall. Harry was adhesive, once he found something, he wouldn't let anything take it away from him. He wouldn't let me home if he got bored of me, because he would never get bored of me.

I had to find my own way out.

"Won't Cindy talk?" I thought out-loud. Maybe she would share what has happened here, what hell we've gone through.

"Money shuts people up."

I gazed out the window for a long time, just wishing I had some pixie dust and my very own Tinkerbell, so she could grant me the power to fly away from here.

"Come on," Harry used his shoulder to nudge me. "Let's get breakfast."

Dazed, I got out of bed. I didn't really feel my feet as I floated down the hallway. The exhaustion of staying up half the night weighing down on me.

We ate breakfast quietly. The morning air was cold against my bare thighs, covered only by flimsy shorts. The crisp air was the only thing I felt, too numb from lack of sleep. Breakfast passed in a blur and before I knew it we were back in the bedroom and I was drifting into a nap.

Harry shook me awake at some point, instructing me to shower and dress 'presentable for company'. I had no idea what that meant.

The shower was the only heat I felt that morning, I hadn't made contact with Harry since the night before. I felt cold and empty without his gente hands on my waist or his soft kisses decorating my body with reminders of where he'd burned his touch into my skin.

The air was even colder when I stopped out of the hot water, forcing me to quickly dry off and dress in the outfit I had picked. I spent a good amount of time on my makeup and hair, making it look natrual, but like it required a bit of effort. 

I opened the bathroom door slowly, revealing myself to Harry. His eyes skimmed over my body, taking in my appearance. I leaned my weight on my left foot and waited for the uncomfortable silence to end. 

"Flower," his strides were long as he walked towards me. "You look beautiful."

I blushed at his compliment and he tucked a piece of fallen hair behind my ear before kissing my forehead gently. 

A knock sounded on the bedroom door. The voice of the butler that had offered to make me breakfast a few days ago announced Niall's arrival. 

~

ive been pretty good at updating lately im proud of myself (except for this chapter bc i was at a demi concert last night lmao)

& also im sorry if what day it is is confusing throughout the story but its supposed to be like that bc lily has no way of counting the time & this is from her pov so we dont know the time frame either yadda yadda yadda anyway

ty sooooo much for reading ur comments & votes honestly make my day

tysm again if ur reading this ilysm & i hope u have an amazing day keep smiling & stay positive :)