A Court of Fire and Ash

Feyre

It had been one year since my mate died.

One year since he was brought back by the Highlords of the seven courts.

And yet every time I woke up in the morning I feared that he might be gone.

It had been a hard year for all of us.

Nesta still grieved for our father, whom she treated without any respect all his life.
She mostly tried to drown her feelings in alcohol.

Elain tried the best she could to adjust to her situation, while Lucien couldn't let go of his feelings for her.

Cassian tried his best in achieving gender equality in the illyrian camps, but still hasn't made much progress.

Mor had to cope with our alliance with Eris and with the memories that followed.
Azriel had been even more withdrawn and closed than ever.

And Amren had to adjust to the changes that followed her becoming a fae, while also making out with Varian-a lot.

And even though Rhysand and I had to deal with all the destruction that followed the war and rebuilding the courts of dreams and nightmares, while arranging a healthy environment, where all our people could feel save in, it had been the happiest time of my life.

7 Months ago i found out that we were going to be parents.
That was all I could think about right now, I was going to be a mother and I had Rhys by my side.

I couldn't be happier.

Wouldn't it be for all the pain and puking.
God, I hated that part.
My back hurt like hell and i could alredy feel the sickness in my throat.

Calmly I pushed Rhys arm off of me and found my way to the bathroom.

Oh yes, I really hated that part.
I didn't even know why I was still puking, but who even knew what would happen at this point.

Fae pregnancies weren't normal.
They were painful, risky and different from anything I knew.
To be honest I didn't know much about them and even though I tried to read every book I could find I felt like I still didn't know enough.

But to be fair I was never prepared to become a Fae and to have a living breathing Fae in my belly so.

As I flushed the toilet and washed my hands, I heard Rhys lingering steps approach.
Then a small, hesitant knock on the door.

„Feyre Darling, are you all right?"

Even after seven long month he stilled asked me every time.
That was only one reason why I loved him.

„I'm alright, Rhys. Just give me a moment and go back to bed."

As I heard him going back to bed I felt a light touch on my mental barrier and I opened a small crack only Rhys could get through.

You know we don't have to get up, we can stay in that bed and I could do things to you, I know you would like.

He sent a picture that explained well enough what he wanted to do.
I felt heat coming from certain body parts and I knew he could feel it too.

Rhys, you know we can't. We are expected to show up at the court of nightmares today.

I'm their Highlord I can do wathever I want.

A small chuckle escaped my lips.

But Keir wouldn't really like that, right? We've made such progress with him, we wouldn't want to lose it just because you don't want to get up.

As I went to the door a wave of pain rolled through my back.

Feyre Darling come here.

Ignoring my aching back I left the Bathroom and entered the bedroom.
Rhys was sitting on the bed.
Different than last night, he wore a pair of trousers and his upper body was naked.

„Come sit down", he purred and gestured me to sit down in his lap.

I did as I was told and when I could feel his warm breath on my neck his hands started to move along my back.

„I went to Madja yesterday to ask her for a soothing ointment for your back. So I decided if I was forced to get up from the bed than you should at least get a back rub, that eases your pain."

He applied pressure to my back and I couldn't prevent a groan coming from my mouth.
Rhysand placed a small kiss on my neck and continued.

At first it didn't feel good at all.
His touch let to more and more pain, until it eased my suffering.

In the last seven months he had been so sweet and had always tried to make me feel better.
I turned around and kissed him on his shoulder.
Then I went higher, leaving a trail of kisses until I finally placed my lips on his.

This kiss made me feel safe and reminded me once again that I was free and would never be taken advantage of again.

Never.

I intensified the kiss and stood up from his lap.

I love you, Feyre Darling

„I love you too."

Then I went back to my old room, where Cerridwen and Nuala where already waiting for me to get dressed.