- Illness -

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from august 2 of this year
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"look guys. don't worry! i'm fine!" kaito says as he wipes the blood from his mouth. it was a petty lie, and yet the remaining students believe him. as i offer my help, kaito sharply denies and claims he can go alone. of course, maki ends up going with him.

despite him being mad at me, i'm not gonna just let him off the hook like that. as we all head back to our rooms, i see maki's door closing. i sigh and make my way to kaitos door and ring the bell. "harumaki i said i'm—" the sight of me brought silence.

"ah...shuuichi." kaito looks away before i can make eye contact with him. "momota-kun," i glare at him. of course, he doesn't notice. "momota-kun!" i grab him by the shoulders. that gets his attention. he quickly looks at me with a shocked expression. "stop. i wanted to save everyone. i didn't want to vote for gonta! you know that! your just...your just stubborn!! you call kokichi our for lying, when you lie to us about your health! that's not okay, kaito!! that's..." i look down. i didn't want to cry at this moment. i couldn't cry now.

it takes a few moments before kaito finally reacts. he simply lets out a low chuckle and looks me in the eyes, "you're really something, shuuichi. seeing through my lies. yeah, your right. i lied about my health. i think it's an illness. but i don't want you to worry about me!" he flashes a smile. i keep a straight face despite that smile making me want to just beam back. "no, momota-kun. I want to worry. we need to worry! you need help, momota."

kaito stays quiet. he looks away. and i only chuckle. "don't cower away now." he looks back at me, "alright. i'll...accept your help." i realize something. kaito looks upset. almost sad. maybe sad. but a thing i didn't realize is the fact that i grabbed his hand and began dragging him down the stairs to get him to my room. the moment he walks in, i close door and lock it.

"so why did you bring me here, hm?" kaito turns to me curiously. i take a step closer to him. "sit on the bed, momota-kun." kaito does as i instruct, and i sit in front of him. and i hug him, which seems to surprise him greatly. "shuuichi, i—"

"shh.." kaito hesitates before slowly hugging back. we sit like this for what seems like forever, until kaito cuts into the silence. his voice is forced and strained. "sh-shuuichi, i gotta..." he lets out a tiny cough. "go ahead. i don't care if anything gets stained or anything like that. you're gonna be okay." i whisper to him. and he lets me go and sits up, still staying close. i place my hands on his arms as he begins to cough more and more.

next thing i know, blood is dripping down his chin. i feel so bad for him. having to deal with this. the blood begins to stain his clothes. it runs down from his nose, from his mouth, and makes a horrible mess of him. he grabs onto my arms and leans his head against my chest. "you'll be okay, kaito..." i whisper as reassuringly as i can into his ear. he slowly looks up at me with a pained look.

and he kisses me. i feel pure shock as he pulls me close. of course, i kiss back. the taste of blood isn't pleasant, but the kiss is sweet. i wish this could last forever.

he slowly pulls away. "that was sudden.." i mumble and smile. kaito chuckles, "yeah, sorry b-bout' that..." we sit in an uncomfortable silence for a good 5 minutes. until i speak up.

"i love you, momota-kun," it takes me a few minutes to realize what i said. i only realize when catching kaito's shocked look. i feel my face heat up instantly, "i-i'm sorry momota-kun i-i—" "shuuichi." he grabs my hand. "call me kaito."

"k-k..."
"kaito."
"k...kaito..."

he chuckles at me as my face goes red in embarrassment. kaito slowly puts his hands on my cheeks. "shuuichi your...crying," kaito mumbles. i run my finger under my eye. and he was right. "i don't...i..." he smiles sadly, "shuuichi, i think i'm dying. and i'm probably not wrong. so if we're gonna...do this, you have to be prepared for the moment where potentially drop dead."

i let out a sob as he speaks to me softly. "you have to be prepared for what could come, shuuichi. be prepared. for me. even if and when i die, look forward. believe in yourself." he smiles as i cry. "i-i ca-cant..." i manage to choke out. "no," he says sternly, getting a good grip on my shoulders.

"you can.
because your shuuichi saihara
and your dating kaito momota, luminary of the stars."

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