Our Dance: Shawn Mendes ✔️

60

Lila Hamilton
- next morning

Shawn
I love you and you got this. I'm sorry again for the other day, I want to be there for you and I'll try my best for you. Please, please don't hesitate to call me baby. Your worries are mine.
This will all be over before you know it. I'll be home and we're having a baby! Focus on the positive honey 💗
And good morning

Me
I love you so much, you have no idea
It's afternoon in England right? 💛

Shawn
Yep but it's morning for you
How's my baby?

Me
The baby is all good

Shawn
I meant you...

Me
Oh haha yeah I'm okay
Send me pictures of yesterday's performance please, I could use a new lock screen!

Shawn
Okay love
Are you okay for today?
Andrew said the lawyers are really nice, it'll be a team of three and I've already paid them so you do whatever you need to do. And tell me if it gets a little too much

Me
I'm good, Carmen is staying with me
And I'll tell you it all xx
Gotta go now 💃🏻 I love you 💗

Shawn
Ahhh I miss your dancing... in your underwear, in the bedroom, just us

Me
Baby 💛 ft tonight? Gotta go xx

-
"So I'll see you after Okay? Just call me" Carmen tells me. "I will and thanks again" I smile getting out the car.

"Hey Lila!" Two girls come up to me. "Oh hi, can I help?" I put on a smile, I've been getting recognised more and more now. It's okay when I'm with Shawn but now I felt panicked when someone come up to me.

"Can we have a picture? If that's okay?"

"Yes of course" I nod. We take a few pictures and then I go into the studio, glancing back I see a few more people taking pictures. I brush it off putting my bag down.

"Hi Lila, Jane wants you in the office" Austin, a fellow dancer tells me packing up his stuff. "Oh she's here?" I ask confused. Jane was the owner of the studio, she had opened one in Miami a while back and moved there, leaving Yasmin in charge here.

"Yeah, she came to check up. Said she wanted to see you. It's urgent" he smiles. "Okay well thanks"

"No worries" he says happily walking out. I go to office knocking, hearing a faint "come in"

"Hi, Jane so nice to see you again" I exclaim sitting opposite the desk. "You too Lila" she smiles then looks up at me.

"So you're probably wondering what I'm doing here huh"

"Well of course, Austin said you came to check up on us"

"Yes I did and Lila" she pauses and her face falls a little, that face when you're about to give bad news.

"I know you're close to Yasmin and she lets you off easy, giving you time off to be with Shawn and that's great but before him you were here every day" she sighs.

"I'm so sorry, I've been going through-"

"Through a lot? I know it's all over the press. We have the paps out there every day, Lila we have children, couples, the elderly coming to dance with us and it's not safe, they don't feel safe with all the cameras and people just sitting out there because Shawn Mendes came here once or twice" she wasn't shouting but she seemed pissed off.

"I can have a word with them, get them to back off-"

"That's just not it Lila. Look, the absences, causing scenes at your place of work and all this bad coverage on your name because your dating Shawn, it's just not what we want here"

My eyes begin watering. "I'm sorry... Jane I've been coming here since I was a little girl. I love it and I love dance-"

"I get that but we've found better. I can give you an amazing reference and I know so many people who would be lucky to have you but just not here" she sighs. "I hope you understand" she sends me a faint smile.

I nod wiping my tears. I get up walking out the room without another word. I grab my bag and I'm about to head out but a bunch of little girls run in.

"Miss Lila! Where are you going?" One asks me. "Home darling, you're getting a new teacher" I smile sadly down at them.

"What about you?" She asks. "I'm having a baby remember?" I can't break this little girls heart like mine just got broken. "I have to go home and look after my baby"

"Forever?"

"Yep, you know how your mummy looks after you? I have to look after my baby" I gulp trying to hold it all in. "Okay" she nods. "I'm going to miss you and prince Eric" she giggles and runs away.

And with a heavy heart I walk out the studio.
-

"Hi, Yvonne Leeds" a woman in a white suit shakes my hand as she walks into my home. "Hi, Lila" I give her a faint smile.

"And this is Darren and Laurel, my associates. We're going to help you Mrs mendes-"

"Oh it's Hamilton. Not married" I chuckle awkwardly, forcing it slightly since I was not in the mood to smile at all.

"My apologies"

"No worries, let's sit. My friend Carmen is in the living room" I tell them. We all get seated and I take a bottle of water in my hands squeezing around it to release some tension i was bottling up.

"My understating is your pregnant and mr mendes is away on tour?" Yvonne asks. I nod instinctively rubbing my hand over my tummy, not a bump yet, more like fat.

"And you want to file a restraining order against Jasper Henry?"

I nod again.

Then they start babbling away. All this legal jargon going in one ear and out the ear.

It was hard to pay attention. Today I felt the most sorry for myself, I felt the most alone I've felt in so long.

A baby, no job, Shawn away living his dream and a legal mess.

So yes, today I'm stressed and anxious and that's an understatement. I wanted to be held, I wanted to hear my baby's heartbeat and start planning the nursery, I wanted to be able to sleep with the boy I love.

After maybe a year of misery Jasper had caused then a year of happiness with Shawn. I was getting kinda use to the happiness. I craved it. I craved wanting to smile and not to force it.

What I really wanted was to be happy. But it doesn't come easily when you need it the most.