Catching Feelings

Chapter 3

I called Julian today, I was missing his voice so much but I guess I could have just searched him on YouTube to hear it... a lot has changed since he became a member of the most famous band on earth. He is a part of a band called The Collective, they were formed on XFactor Australia nearly two years ago and basically he auditioned as a solo artist and was put into a band with 4 other guys, Trent, Jayden, Will and Zach. I am great friends with his band mates, I hung out with them a lot before they went on their world tour, they ended up winning the show which was no surprise to anyone because they have such incredible talent and they instantly after one month become famous internationally and their fame just grew from then on.

I met Julian way back when we were as high as my knees, we went to the same kindergarten together and our mothers were best friends so we spent a lot of time at play centres together and went to the same Primary School. We didn’t even have a choice of being friends, we were basically a forced friendship but he was the greatest person to ever enter my life.  He went to my high school as well until 10th grade when he dropped out to be in the band and have the pop star life. It was hard back then, we hardly spent a week away from each other our whole lives then everything changed but I am used to it now. It was hardest when I needed him most and he was no longer the guy that lived down the street that I could go talk to about anything, we didn’t have endless conversations about nothing or go to the movies to watch chick flicks even though he hated coming but he would do anything for me and I would do anything for him. After the band formed and won he got busy, I totally understood but it was just hard, he tried making it like it used to be, his effort was good but never enough. Hardest part was....I was in love with him.

So you can imagine how scared I was that he was touring with millions and millions of screaming girls wanting him, and he not having anything to stop getting with any of them because I hadn’t told him I loved him.

I lot of his band events happened over the summer holidays, I was most scared about going back to school because now Julian wasn’t there and I had no other friend, not one like him anyway. But it was a new year and in my class was the new girl, Nina. Nina and I became friends instantly, without her I would have been a loner at school. Over the year I became friends with the other girls and met Justice Crew who were the popular boys... who knew I would go from the girl who lost her bestfriend to a band, becoming friends with the new girl and now in the popular group. A lot changed that year. So that is when I met Len, he made me feel good and no longer alone, his presence gave me the male bestfriend needed in my life basically to do what Julian was no longer there for. Once I met Len, he helped me get over Julian and I fell for him instead, they are so similar, I guess in a way... Len replaced Julian.

Sometimes I wonder what could have been if Julian was never in the band, where our friendship would be, if we would be dating, if I would have told him I loved him, I wonder about the what if’s a lot when I am alone, usually laying in bed thinking like I always do before bed. I couldn’t be any happier though, Julian has now showed his amazing talent to the world and I have found Len, and all my new friends.

On the phone to Julian I asked when he was going to be home next,

“Next Friday I get home” he said with so much joy.

I told him all about my party and asked for him to be there and he said he would, I don’t think I could be any happier with that, I haven’t seen him in nearly a month since his last visit, he was so happy he gets to see me too and now I can’t wait even more till my party. We talked for hours about how his tour was going, the other boys, the fan encounters and I shared some memories from Justice Crew’s concerts and a bit about how I was doing and my relationship with Len.

I wanted to tell Len the great news so I called him after I got off the phone with Julian,

“Len! Guess What!?” I said so enthusiastically.

“What?” he replied

“Julian’s coming home next Friday, same day you do, he is going to be able to come to my party and I am going to pick him up at the airport and spend Friday with him!”

“But I thought we were going to see each other on Friday, I miss you” He replied with, he brang my happiness down a bit as he wasn’t so happy but I hope he understands that I miss Julian and need to see him.

“ Yeah I know, I am sorry... Maybe you can sneak in again at night” I said with a cheeky laugh, trying to make him smile.

“Nah, you have fun with Julian” he said bluntly.

“Why are you acting like this?” I said softly,

“Acting like what?” he said with anger this time, I can’t even believe he is acting like this right now, why isn’t he happy for me...

“Len, I have done nothing wrong, why you speaking to me like that, I was expecting you to be happy for me” I said so confused

“You know I hate Julian, now he is taking away my Friday to spend time with you” he replied with in so much anger

“He isn’t taking it away, I asked to spend time with him, I haven’t seen him in a really long time, don’t you understand that?” I said trying to make him understand.

“He clearly means more to you then me” he said

“I am not choosing between my bestfriend and my boyfriend!”I said now angry.

“Well maybe you have to, or we can’t be together” he said and hung up.

I burst into tears, I can’t believe he just did that, I have done nothing wrong, he knows what Julian means to me and how long he has been gone, I have been away from Len for nearly 2 weeks and we have talked every night. I even said he could come over after I spend time with Julian. Len and Julian never got along but he should still be happy for me, I hope he calls back and apologizes.  How dare he even put me in that position to chose between them to, and threaten me that I have to or we are over. So many feeling were rushing through my head, and so many questions... I cried myself to sleep.