I'm Here | ✓

36 - Guilt

If this didn't feel so nice, I'd sleep on the couch.

Of course, Steve and I woke up tangled in each other again, legs twisted together, noses inches apart.

I don't dare move, except to tip my head a little closer to his.

He shifts a little, but he's not awake. He will be.

"Steve?" I murmur, barely a breath against his lips.

He hums a bit and shifts his head.

"Steve?" I say a little louder, trying to extract myself from his arms. His eyelashes flutter open, but he squints, taking a moment to reorient. I groan and roll over top of him, grabbing his ringing phone from where it slid out of his pocket last night. He grunts when I slip back to my side of the bed, my fingering hovering over the answer button.

"You squished me," he moans.

"Yeah. Now shh." It's that agent, Natasha. I blink the last of the sleep out of my eyes and answer the phone.

"Steve?"

"It's Bucky. Steve takes longer to wake up than I do."

"Okay, umm... is he near?"

"...yeah." I hand the phone off to Steve. He squints at me in confusion, and I shrug. He rolls back over.

"Nat? Is everything okay?"

There's a pause. "I'd say yes, but the true answer is everything's gone to hell."

"Are you alright? Is it Tony?" Steve seems wide awake now, shooting upright in bed with a ferocity that surprises even me. I continue eavesdropping, even though I probably shouldn't.

"No, no, I left Tony's a few days ago. I've got some... personal problems I should deal with before it gets too severe, but I was just gonna let you know before I go off the grid for a while."

"Can I help?"

"I've got my own demons, Steve. I have to handle this. There's somebody in Russia..." She sighs. "I wasn't ever the only Black Widow, and it's coming back to bite me."

Steve rubs his face. "Okay. Okay. I trust you. If you need anything at all, let me know. Please be safe, Nat, okay?"

"I'll meet up with you as soon as I can. There are other threats that need to be dealt with after this one, but I can take this on my own." And with that, she hangs up the phone.

Steve and I trade confused looks. I'm the first to speak. "What was that about?"

"Natasha has a dark past. She's a skilled fighter and a loyal friend, but I guess it's caught up to her now. I want to help, but it doesn't sound like I can."

I furrow my eyebrows. "What do you mean, a dark past? She's one of the original six Avengers."

"Do you really want to know?"

"Now that you're hesitant to tell me, yes."

Steve sighs. "She used to train with Hydra in the Red Room."

He says those two words and I feel like I'm sinking. The images come on like a tidal wave, so fast I can't even put my hands up to stop them. One second, I'm sitting in bed with Steve, and the next, I'm standing in the corner of a dance studio, watching, waiting, observing.

A thin woman with her hair pulled back in a slick bun watches the girls with thinly veiled interest. Her eyes flick over them, watching each movement as they leap and twirl and pose, hands curled behind their backs, all in perfect sync.