What is it about someone that makes them unlovable? Is it the way they look without makeup? The way their voice sounds? Is it who they are as a person? Or some trait they're just born with? What is it about me that is so unlovable?
I huff and shake my head to clear myself from the sad, thoughtful daze I fell into. I looked around my bedroom from my position on the floor and sighed at the now empty walls. I lingered on the spots that had help pictures of Elijah and I. He was my first love and I gave him everything I thought I could. And how did he repay me? He slept with my best friend and threw it in my face! I guess I should be over it by now, it was months ago. I don't love him anymore but it still hurts ya know?
I glance at my phone and cursed the world when I saw I was going to be late, again. I run out of the house and start up my old yellow beetle. I zoom out of the driveway and try to turn the ten minute drive to school into a five minute one. I pull into my usual parking spot and speed walk up the ramp into the school. My wedges thumping the concrete with each step and my long, navy chiffon blouse flowing around me, grazing the thighs of my black leggings.
As I open the door I hear someone yelling to hold the door and I look behind me to see Jude. Jude is an old friend who has always been so sweet to me, which is probably because he was kind of in love with me.
"How do you always manage to be late?" Jude laughed, once he got to the door.
"Who are you to talk weirdo?" I joked as we walked into the office to check in. As we swiped in I could feel the office lady staring me down for being late. Once we were done, we got out of there as quickly as we could.
"Let me walk you to class?" Jude asked, he smiled at me so genuinely I couldn't help but smile back. So I told him I would love for him to walk me and we were on our way. I could see Jude staring at me from the corner of my eye, he was looking at me like he wanted to say something but didn't know how.
"I know this is a little late but how are you? With everything going on," he looked sorry that he had even asked. That's the thing about breakups, no one wants to say the words but everyone want to know the details.
I smiled at him and started to lie but when I saw the genuine concern, I stopped.
"Honestly, I'm not at my best but I am doing better than I was yesterday." I laughed weakly. We stopped outside my classroom and he wrapped me in a firm hug. He held me for a minute and then he held me at arms length.
"You are beautiful and strong and you deserve someone who can see that and cherish you for it." His words were quiet but firm. And his utter belief that I was worth something repaired something deep inside me that would end up leading me to great things.
I whispered 'thank you' so quietly he could barely hear me. We hugged again and he walked to his own class. Once he walked away, I was filled with guilt because I knew I would never love Jude the way he loved me.
And with that final thought, I stepped into class.
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Why is Love Never Enough?
العاطفيةThis is a story about a young woman who struggled through life and through love but who would fight passionately when it came down to it. But when would someone fight for her?
