Arrogant Smirk (A Rihanna Fanfiction)

XXIV

XXIV

The concert was in half an hour, and I was not there.

I had slipped out, meaning to only get air for awhile, because I did not want to perform. I didn't feel like singing. The birds outside did, just because. Because nothing was bad for them. I just sat down near a bush and watched them. They were so free, and that was so beautiful.

My phone kept constantly ringing and ringing. It got to the point where I chucked it a few feet away and decided to forget about it. I didn't want to leave just yet, I wanted to stay here long enough that I would get my piece of freedom but still won't get in trouble. But then I heard something from my phone that I hadn't heard in awhile. It was the ringtone I had set for Robyn: Diamonds.

"We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky." The recording said as I picked up my phone.

"Hello?" I sounded small, and my voice was raspy.

"Get back inside! Where the fuck are you?!" She yelled.

I winced. "Robyn?" I wasn't even sure if that was her. The voice was harsh, demanding. The voice Robyn had was more melodic and slower in which you could appreciate her accent.

"What, Margot?"

It was her. My heart sank into an abyss of loss. "Hi." I managed to utter.

This was expectedly ignored. "Matt wants you inside immediately. Don't be late."

She hung up. I felt like I was repeatedly dipped in ice cold water, and then was finally flung without a single thought. She sounded so cruel. It was quite a difference from the usually comforting woman I had known. What had happened since the phone call a few days ago?

I trudged to the door I had snuck out of, and made my way to my dressing room.

I splashed water on my face. Perhaps I misunderstood the phone call. Maybe she was just worried about me, and came off the wrong way. Anything but angry. Anything but that. I grabbed my comb and gelled my bangs to the side, to make a quiff. My reflection looked scared. Tired, even. It was sad that I was done with fame, even though it had been a few months since the band had been discovered. I found that I did not have the drive for anything, not even performing.

Someone opened the door. It was Matt. He glared, and reminded me, "On stage in ten minutes. Don't ever leave again. Alright?"

"Yes." I sighed.

"Do your makeup." Matt commanded before slamming the door shut, making me jump in alarm.

I grabbed a brush and put dark brown eyeshadow on my eyelids, then mixed some gold with it. My hands were a bit shaky, but it looked okay after I put on mascara. I looked okay. Rydel could have done better, though.

My eyes peered at the reflection of my electric. It had once been my painkiller, and that had made me suddenly nostalgic. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my guitar gingerly and walked outside the dressing room.

The guys were outside already, patiently waiting for me. I saw looks of fear, then a forced calm. Max gave me a small smile. "Hey, Mars."

"Hey." I gave him a hug. It didn't feel as nice as it used to.

Logan gave me one after. "You look nice." I fought the urge to laugh. He'd never say that kind of thing to a girl he would try to pick up.

"Thanks." I said and hugged Harrison. He smelled strongly of cigarette smoke. It was a bit weird, but in the kind of way that I couldn't get used to.

"Are you ready?" Lo asked. He looked at me like he didn't want to hurt my feelings or something. Peculiar.

"I think so."

"Then let's go." Max grabbed my hand, and we all left for the stage. The hallway seemed to be so short. I swallowed before I walked into the flashing lights.

"Good luck, Mars." Harry whispered as he passed me.

I will be honest in saying that I don't remember what happened after that. I know I was singing and playing but it didn't feel like I was doing anything. I even dropped out in some of my parts and let the guys take over. That's what they tell me. I don't know. I had the sensation of being rocked to sleep, all warm and comfortable.

What I do remember are the screams, the blurs, and the lights. So many lights.