House of Memories (JHope Oneshot)

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This is a oneshot I took off my tumblr and wanted to share on Wattpad as well. It's kind of short but I was pretty happy with how it came out and I hope you enjoy it.

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His eyes open. He feels something weighing down on him, stopping him from moving. He stares at the ceiling, then looks over at the bedroom window, there’s no sunlight pouring through the curtain. He cant move his neck, shifting only his eyes over to the clock on the bedside table. The blue digital numbers reading 2:30 AM. Hoseok closes his eyes, hoping that he’ll just drift off to sleep again.
“Hobi? Where are you?"
Hoseok’s eyes snap open at the sound of your voice coming from somewhere downstairs. His eyes move to the bedroom door, his chest swelling with excitement. Finally, you’re home. He knew that you would come back. He tries to grip onto the bedsheets on either side of him to lift himself up, but no matter how much the muscles in his arms and hands tense, he can’t close his fist. He can’t move, like cement has been poured through his veins. He hears what sounds like your keys being set down, then hears you moving around as if searching for him.
“Hobi?"
Hoseok tries desperately to yell out for you, but he can’t open his mouth. Instead he lays there with his chest heaving and his lips quivering, only managing small whimpers between his pursed lips. The footsteps start to get closer, and Hoseok hopes that you’ll find him and help him. Hoseok’s breath gets faster and heavier as he tries again to sit up, the footsteps arrive at the door and  the knob slowly starts to turn. Hoseok is suddenly torn from his trance, his skin stings as if someone has thrown cold water onto him. He quickly sits upright, gasping for air and taking only a second to collect himself before he runs towards the closed bedroom door. He throws it open, hoping to see you on the other side, but instead he is faced with the empty hallway. His chest rises and falls as he stands there a bit longer, the darkness staring back and silently mocking him. Then he slowly starts to step backwards, until his thighs hit the bed and he falls back onto it. He spends the rest of the night with his head in his hands.

—–

It happened again.” Hoseok says as he pulls out one of your jewelry boxes from the dresser, brushing off the thin layer of dust that has began to form. He hadn’t touched your things since you’d passed away.
“The sleep paralysis?” Yoongi’s voice asks from the other end of the phone.
“Yes.” Hoseok rubs his eyes, which are tired and swollen from multiple restless nights like the prior one.
“I think we should go see a doctor if they don’t stop. Maybe some sleeping meds will help.” Yoongi suggests. Hoseok nods as he examines the jewelry box, he’s been going through the things you left behind after the members suggested that getting rid of some of the clutter would help him be at peace of mind. Instead, he had found himself getting lost in the memory of every object. He opened the box and let out a sound of surprise when a piece of paper fell out, slipping past him and settling on the ground. He picked it up as Yoongi asked what he found on the other side of the line. Hoseok unfolded the paper, and the first line he read was “To My Hobi,” written neatly in your handwriting at the top of the page. He could hear your voice clearly in his head as he read it again, closing his eyes briefly to collect himself.
“I’ll call you back, Yoongi.” He didn’t wait for a reply as he hung up, staring at the letter in his hands afraid of his eyes comprehending the words written on it. Finally, he took a deep breath and began to read the letter.

To My Hobi,

Hey, it’s me, Y/N. I am writing this letter as a precaution, because I do not seem to be getting better. I feel weaker each day, and spend more time asleep than awake. This was just supposed to be a cold. It wasn’t supposed to be this bad. I won’t tell you that I wrote this letter, because I know that it would hurt you that I am thinking like this. I am not saying that I will die, but I am just being prepared. I know that if you need to, you will find this letter.
If you are reading this it means that I have already passed. I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling or how you are taking this, since it hurts to picture such a beautiful soul like you having to deal with such a terrible situation. I am sorry to part with you like this, I am sorry that I left before you. But I want you to know, how much I truly love you. You embodied the word perfection and basked in all of its glory, and not a day goes by that I do not call myself lucky to be able to call you my husband. It is okay to be sad, it is okay to cry, it is okay to miss me. But please promise me that you will learn how to smile again. Please promise me that you will continue to live, and that you will not be afraid to love again. You are too great of person for me to not let go. Other people deserve to know Jung Hoseok, and other people deserve to feel the way you made me feel. Please continue to share your gift and your smile, with the world. You were my hope and sunshine, even in these last painful days. But at least now you will remember me as I was, and I will live forever in your house of memories. I love you. I will always love you. So please, smile for me. 

Sincerely, Y/N

The paper was stained as if a tear had dried on it before. And now there was a fresh tear falling directly next to it, the paper shaking slightly in Hoseok’s hands. He set the paper down and settled his back against the dresser as he allowed himself to cry, letting his grief out in loud sobs. It hurt so bad to have lost you, to know that he could never hold you in his arms or hear your laugh. It had absolutely crushed him. That's where his sleep paralysis had come from, because hearing you during paralysis was better than never hearing you again. But perhaps he had been doing this all wrong. He had these episodes because he had tried to bury your memory and forget about you and what had happened. He thought that if he could erase all the feelings you’d given him, the pain would become enough to bare. But instead of treating you like a memory he wanted to forget, he should have treated you as a cherished recollection in his heart. He needed to find peace and accept that you had brought him love and happiness, but that you were gone now and you weren't going to be forgotten. For you, he’d build a palace in his house of memories.
After he had calmed down enough, with his eyes puffy and his nose bright red, he called Yoongi back. He told him everything, and later that night, Hoseok went out to eat with the members for the first time since you’d passed away. Hoseok finally smiled again, and laughed. That night was the first night that he finally slept through.