The Professor: Battling The Past

Chapter 10: Conquering Internal Battles

"Hey man, what's up? How are you two doing? Did he open up to you? Did you two do it?"

Jason remained quiet throughout Eric's rambling and tried his best not to break down. Eric caught on to Jason's silence and knew something wasn't right.

"Jason...Jason what did you do? What happened?"

Jason tried to respond but there was a lump in his throat making it difficult.

"Jason, are you okay? Talk to me."

There was a pause and finally Jason swallowed thickly and told Eric what had happened. Eric didn't respond right away. He just listened and let his mind absorb everything Jason was saying. Once Jason finished, Eric took a deep breath and began to respond choosing his words carefully.

"I don't believe you" Eric said sternly. His tone of voice catching Jason off guard.

"W-What?" Jason stammered.

He'd never heard Eric use that tone of voice before and it shook him a little bit.

"You're really going to just give up because you're both scared of being loved?" Eric continued on as if his question to Jason was rhetorical. "No, you're going to grow some balls, man up and fight. You heard him, he wants you just as badly as you want him. Just because he's obviously hiding behind the crutch of the teacher-student rue, doesn't mean you should back down. You have to go after what you want, even when it's hard. Even when the odds are stacked against you. And you have to remember that anything worth having is worth fighting hard to earn it. If you give up on him now, so help me I will come over there and beat the piss out of you so bad your heart won't be the only thing aching." Eric finished with a snap to his tone.

Jason was so stunned, he didn't know what to say. Eric had never lectured him in such a harsh tone before. But he knew Eric well enough to know not to argue with him when he was trying to be supportive. The more he thought about it, he realized Eric must see something in him, he's failing to see in himself. He had to in order to want to push this in spite of both Jason's and Professor Michaels' fears and insecurities.

"I don't know what to do Eric. He doesn't want to see me" Jason said softly.

"Make him want to see you Jason. Don't give up on him just because you're afraid of being pushed away again. I mean I may not have met this man yet, but from what you've told me about him, he's a good guy. He's not Brandon."

Jason flinched at the mentioning of Brandon's name. His mind suddenly drifting back to the day he got his heart ripped from his chest. He remembered it like it was yesterday.

"Brandon, you wanna hang out after school today?" Jason asked. "Sure man. Meet me at my car after school and we can head over to my house, alright?" Brandon said. "Alright man, see you then" Jason responded. They both left their lockers and headed for their last two classes. After school, as Brandon made his way to his car, Jason was leaning against the passenger door waiting for him. He unlocked the door and they climbed into the truck. The car ride was quiet as both Brandon and Jason seemed to be in deep thought. "We're here" Brandon announced, pulling Jason out of his thoughts.

They entered the house and headed to Brandon's room where he locked the door behind him. Jason was so uneasy. He really liked Brandon and wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. But he didn't want to ruin the friendship or run him off by expressing his feelings. So he suppressed them. He was afraid that if Brandon found out, he'd hate him and would turn on him. But what Jason didn't realize is that Brandon had already figured it out just by the way he caught Jason constantly gazing at him.

They ended up sitting on the bed and that's when Brandon made his move. He leaned in and kissed Jason's lips. Jason was so caught off guard, he immediately pulled back. But his lips were tingling and his body was heating up. He was staring at Brandon with shock and want in his eyes and he suddenly realized there was lust resonating in Brandon's eyes. He became incredibly nervous as he felt Brandon's hand on his cheek, stroking it gently then latching onto his neck. The room's temperature continued to escalate as Brandon leaned in again and claimed Jason's lips. This kiss was a little more aggressive and Jason couldn't help but moan into the kiss. He leaned in closer to Brandon, opening his mouth and letting his tongue seek out Brandon's tongue. As the kiss deepened, Jason was barely aware of the articles of clothing that were swiftly being removed from his body.

Soon, they were both naked and Jason was laying on his back with his legs being pulled apart and spread open. Panic shot straight to his brain and he broke their kiss abruptly. "N-No..too fast..I-I'm not ready" Jason panted. He was a virgin and had never done anything with a man before. He only fantasized. At seventeen years old, he was curious but also very scared and Brandon fed off of Jason's fear. "I've seen you watching me Jason. I know you want me" Brandon mused. He kissed a path down Jason's neck making him shudder. Brandon's hand rubbed down Jason's body until he reached his hips. Jason lay there panting "N-No I'm not ready." But his body was responding to Brandon's touch. "By the looks of things, I'd say you are ready and want this pretty bad" Brandon responded. Jason was rock hard and his dick was leaking precum but his fears outweighed his arousal as he tried to get off the bed, but to no avail. Brandon was much stronger and as he looked at Jason's arousal, he took that as his cue and grabbed a hold of Jason's hips in a firm grip. In one swift motion Brandon rammed his dick into Jason's ass all the way to the hilt. Jason cried out in pain and tears began to stream down his face. He didn't want this. He was in so much pain, he was on the verge of blacking out.

Brandon gritted his teeth as the walls of Jason's ass surrounded his manhood, squeezing securely. "You're so tight" he managed. Jason lay there suddenly ashamed and confused begging Brandon to pull out and let him go. But to his dismay, Brandon just started moving inside of him, not giving Jason any time to adjust to his massive girth. And the more he complained, the faster and rougher Brandon got. Soon Brandon had lost all control and was fucking Jason with urgency and desperation. Jason lay there crying out in pain and just wished it would all be over. And soon it was. Brandon's pants and groans grew short and his muscles taut as his body began to lock up. He let go of Jason, pulled out, leaning his dick towards Jason's face. He let out a long guttural growl and began cumming all over Jason's face.

After he was done, he didn't bother to ask if Jason was okay or why was his ass now bleeding. He didn't even apologize for hurting him. Instead, he threw Jason his clothes and said "Get dressed and get out." Jason obeyed and ran home to his room, locked the door, and cried himself to sleep. The next day at school was hell, and all the days that followed. Suddenly the whole entire school knew he was gay and they ridiculed him for it. So on top of the physical pain he was forced to endure from having his ass forcibly ripped open, he had to endure the constant teasing and taunting that came along with it. And even though Eric had beat Brandon down within an inch of his life, it did nothing to numb the pain Jason suffered. He was never the same after that.

"You can't hold on to that pain, you have to let it go" Eric was saying as Jason came out of his flashback.

He realized that Eric was right. He hadn't let go of the pain because he still felt rejected. He felt rejected even more so now than he ever did. All of the years he thought he had overcome the feelings of rejection, but in reality, it had not yet left him entirely. It was still clinging on to the fear that never disappeared. Jason still didn't know what to do, his teacher had already made up his mind. And even though he was conquering the battles within himself, he didn't know how to win the battle that meant the most to him.

"What do I do Eric? I-I need him" Jason asked at last.

He felt so empty, so alone without his teacher.

"Tell him that Jason. Tell him how you feel. How he makes you feel. Pour out your heart to him. And don't be afraid to be vulnerable with him" Eric answered.

Jason paused for a moment and said "Okay I'll try my best." He ended the call but not before he thanked Eric for being such a good friend.

Jason gained his composure and got up to go after the man he loved. He knew that the fear of rejection was just another internal battle he had to fight but he wasn't giving up this time, not without a fight. He made his way to Professor Michaels' hotel room door and began to mentally prepare himself for whatever was to come.