I thought about this time and time again
And questioned why anyone would use narcotics to numb themselves
Now I truly understand
Because being high actually makes me happy, it's temporary but for the first time in a long time, I actually want to continue living
And that's how I feel when I'm with the ones I love
I'm able to enjoy the little things in life sober but when my demons darken my thoughts. I can't get rid of it right away
Being high smokes them out for me. I can smile hard enough to where my face hurts
I can laugh and enjoy myself even if I'm feeling down , even if I was about to go numb and have an anxiety attack so bad that I pass out.
I even if I was about to question myself and my feelings twords everything
It may be wrong but atleast I know I'm okay
