Particles Of Youth

three

I'm growing older I realized as i was setting in the bathtub , I closed my eyes and remembered my childhood memories , I was running in a field with her , she looked back at me and screamed "Aris ,come on  ! The last one gonna be the loser " she said and her braids were swaying kissing the back of her green dress , I tried to keep up , but at that time I was a skinny short boy with a want to reach the sky , so I closed my eyes and stretched my hands up , up , up , I felt her smile in the air that time , I opened my eyes back to the present and sighted I'm gonna be late .

     Closing the front door of the house I adjusted my head phones in my ears and headed to the subway , on my way there I looked at the moon it was visible so early in the morning and it looked out of place on baby blue sky but its still pretty , the day light moon reminds me of her too , I scratched at my head , everything reminds me of her , I went on pushing my fingers in my hoodie , I tried to capture all the details of the road , the way the trees rustle to the manner people interact with each other , in a way this morning felt like life finally isn't speeding off away from me , like the air is embracing me and the sun is delicately touching my skin , I wondered would I've felt that way if I didn't play that piano ?

     After class was over I headed straight to the door , I don't wanna be late I want to see the piano and smell future dreams "hi ,uhhh  you're Aris  right?" A guy said to me , he was tall taller than me which made me look up , "yeah " I said , "well we are hanging out me and my friends ... And my sister too , uhh  she really wants you to come " he said awkwardly , I don't blame him I feel awkward too so instead of giving him an answer I tried my best to look at absolutely nothing "hmm , I'm sorry, I have to go to work maybe next time ?" I said out of being polite " yeah sure dude , have a nice afternoon " he said , and for the first time I looked at his face he looked strangely familiar like I've seen him a lot but I don't know where , I shook that thought off and ran out of campus .

I waited for a moment before I got into the shop , I heard her faint smile and I just wanted to see her again, her finger tips were lightly touching the painting I saw the other day , it was a painting of hundreds of birds with so many details and all shades of whites and blues and browns decorating their feathers , she looked at me and that big smile appeared again I smiled back " you're just in time , go ahead take a seat I'll go fetch us some tea, oh and by the way that's my dog Ruby " she said pointing a fluffy small white dog I nodded and bent down to pet ruby , a moment later she returned with two cups of steaming tea " I assume you're a college student ?" She asked "yeah " I said , "well that means you'll work after noon shifts " she said I nodded " and for the work I want you to play the piano "she said with an amused smile seeing my reaction my eyes went wide and I looked up from my cup to her face " I don't get it " I said " well its simple " she said bring in her hands on the table " all you need to do is help out cleaning and play the piano " she said with a smile she was amused obviously , I assume I turned red  , after a moment I nodded " right that's a deal Aris" Julia said reaching her hands to shake mine  , I took her hand, it felt cold .

    After cleaning up with Julia , we settled on the chairs in the middle of the shop , it felt strange to be next to her , I try hard not to look at her for long , so I clench and unclench my hands "I know you want to play , go ahead play the piano " she said without looking at me she had this small smile on her face , it made her look pretty , I sighted what's going on with me ? , I nodded and sat next to the piano , it was screaming for me to play it , my fingers itched to feel the familiarity of the keys so I closed my eyes and played , my uncertainty , my distress , my numbness , all seeped out of me , and before I know it I was surrounded with people , I didn't even notice the entrance bell scheming and there was so many of them , but at that moment I only played for one person for the first time in a long time , I played for her , for Julia .

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Author's note
You can ignore your feelings , you can try to let go , but the only way to move on is to keep your loved one inside your heart , living there in the kingdom of your bones , that's how you move on .

                                           For gypsy girl.