Open to possibilities

Chapter 41

Amelia POV

I'm woken up by the comforting smell of fresh coffee and the cute giggles of my precious children. When I open my eyes I'm greeted by the vision of my beautiful husband holding our little sleeping Stacey and my four little monkeys snuggled next to me.
"Good morning,sweet mama" Link says to me
"Morning,sweet daddy" and I smile...big because I've dreamt Christopher too and I feel blessed because Arabella made me open my heart to say goodbye to him and let him go.
"How did you sleep?" He asks me
"Good...very good,actually" I say "Link,he came to see me" and a little tear escapes my eyes
"Yes?" And he looks really overwhelmed too
"I think...I'm ready...to let him go,to let the pain go and cherish the minutes I had with him. He gave me peace. Do you believe that I've never dreamt about him in 11 years? Arabella set me free,without even knowing"
"You look...different"
"I'm grateful for everything I had in my life: I'm okay knowing that I'm the mother of six beautiful children. I'm grateful for Chris,I gave him all my love in those 43 minutes and I have no regrets. He is the reason why I'm alive and I will remember him till my last breath. And Link,look at these kids,aren't they the most perfect miracle you have ever seen?! And we made them...we made them" I say to him "I would spend my entire life like this" and it's true,my aim in life is on this bed. "Can I hold Stacey?" Atticus places gently her in my arms "hi my little princess,do you know how much mommy loves you? Yes,that's right: too much. You've been a good girl tonight huh? My sleeping beauty".
"Mom?" A small voice calls me out
"Hey Bella...how did you sleep?"
"Good,very good, mommy...and...he came back again! I think he is my bff" and I know what she is talking about and I silently thank her for what she innocently asked me.
"I dreamt him too" I say caressing her soft brown curls and I smile,much bigger than usual.
Bella sits up next to me and puts her head on my shoulder "you look....happier" she says "and I know you miss him,mom" how can a small kid like her be such a gentle soul ?"but...I think he is here too...it's just that we can't see him" she finishes.
I look away not to make her see a little tear rolling down my cheek: it's a cloudy day and staying in bed with the kids is the best feeling in the world but  there will always be a small piece of the puzzle missing. Bella rolls gently down the bed and goes by the window and sits down putting her hands together she whispers "make mom know you are here...because I feel you but she needs to believe this too...please,Chris...please...I love you" and she comes back on the bed next to me.
All of a sudden,a little ray of sun filtered between the clouds and she jumps on the bed "SEE MOM!! He is here!!!" And I can't do anything more than smiling because she is right: he is here too and this is comforting me,so much.
My daydreaming gets interrupted by my phone ringing,it's Owen.
"Amelia...Amelia....I need help" and I jump out of bed
"Okay,What is happening? Owen,I need you to calm down...OWEN! TALK TO ME" I almost scream
"Allison...I don't know...I think she is having a seizure and it's not stopping! We are on the ambulance but I need you there" he is talking very loud but with a shaking voice.
"Owen..."
"I know you are on maternity leave,I know...but you are the only doctor I trust around my daughter"
"I'm coming. You are heading to the Grey's right?" While talking I'm putting on jeans and shoes "stay on the phone with me,Okay? I'm here" and I'm freaking out...praying that Allison won't need my medical help because it would be like treating one of my children.
Atticus gets in the room probably alarmed by my conversation and I look at him "I gotta go. Allison is seizing and she is not stopping"
"Do you need me to drive you  there?"
"No honey,I need you to stay here with these babies"
"On it...go!".

I'm in the car,currently driving in a way that would cost me my driving license but I don't care. I need to go there as soon as I can, possibly before them to get prepped.
As I enter in the ER I starts shouting orders
"Deluca,I want you in the pit now. I want a trauma room on standby and the same goes with the CT room. I need my operating room ready with my team prepped to go in. Someone page Grey and Karev,now! Move people,MOVE!" And I say in my mind "Okay Amelia,I need you to be in your superhero mode". My concentration is interrupted by sirens entering the pit and I rush out. When they open the door,Owen steps down in tears and I understand why when I see Allison: she is definitely unconscious and her body is shaking uncontrollably.
"Amelia please...AMELIA"
"OWEN,SHUT UP! Let me do my job!" And as soon as I finish my sentence Allison starts coding "DAMN IT" I scream jumping on the bed starting CPR "stay with me,honey...Allison,don't do this to me! DON'T!" .
In the trauma room we are able to get her pulse back and I inject a few milligrams of diazepam stopping the seizures "let's take her up for a CT scan". I feel devastated already but I have to keep going,her life is in my hands.

Owen POV
This is a nightmare.
I'm outside this room waiting and the wait is killing me.
When Amelia comes out with Allison unconscious on a gurney I run to them but I'm unable to speak. She looks at me,she is tired and sweaty "we are going up for a CT...I think it could be a ruptured aneurysm. I'm doing my best,Owen" and I see a sweet smile trying to comfort me "I know,Amelia. I can't lose her too" and I see a little lighting in her eyes "you are not losing her,not today" and it reassures me seeing her this determined.
The minutes of the CT seemed to be an eternity but Amelia comes out running "we have to go up to the OR. The damage is bigger than I expected: I need to go in,NOW"
"Amelia...Tell me more,please"
"Owen,I need you to trust me now. You are not losing her,I'm going to fight with every single inch of my being to give her back to you. I know how it feels to lose a kid and I'm not let this happen to you too. You can stay in the gallery if you want,but not a single word okay?".
She is literally running and when Amelia runs is because there is no time. She is controlled like always and what helps me not to break down and cry are those eyes: she looks like a tiger and this is good. She is in the superhero mode.

I'm in the gallery watching the surgery and a part of me wants to run away but the other part of me can't look away. I would spend my entire life watching Amelia operating: she is elegant,calm and collected.
While operating on Allison she talks to her,like she wants to reassure her "Hey Ali,you decided you were too bored huh? You should have called me instead,you know I'm funnier than this right? I know you are scared right now,but I've got you. Not that long ago I had been on this bed too...I had a huge tumor and I was terrified! You don't have to hold back the fear in these situations,you know? Fear is normal...it is what makes us human" and all of a sudden,a flat line appeared on the monitor.
"She is coding!" A nurse says in horror
"Too much swelling...damn...let's try some mannitol and keep her on fluids. Crash cart here please"
After 5 minutes of trying still flat line and I'm panicking.
Amelia sits next to Allison and holds her hand "Allison don't do this to me! DON'T EVEN TRY! I won't let you go and you know this! FIGHT ALLISON, we are superhero!you are a superhero! DON'T GO,ALLISON! STAY WITH ME" and I hear the fear in my ex wife's voice "COME ON,ALI! COME ON! Listen, I  know how it feels losing someone you love more than life itself and I swear to God,I won't tell your father you are gone,Okay?! So come back,Ali...please. PLEASE!".