Intrusive Thoughts

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Hey, so I've been having a lot of intusive thoughts lately, and I have found out how to maybe explain them from my point of view at least

So imagine you're in an apartment or house with like your best friend in the world, you're both laughing and having the best time, then suddenly you hear a knock at the door

It's the thought

And they know they're obnoxious
Your friend gets up and leaves because they don't want to be around them either

So now you're alone with them
They start being all obnoxious and telling you all these things that aren't true and showing you images that make your stomach churn

You want to react violently and shout at them to leave and/or punch them, kick them etc.

But you know that will only make it worse because they'll go to the police

If you try to calmly ask them to leave, they'll just keep saying and showing things no matter what you say

So you ignore them or look up things to calm you

And it works for a short while and they leave and your friend comes back

Then it's the next day you hear a knocking on your door
You ignore it

But it just gets louder and louder and leads to shouting

So you open the door and they come barging in once again

You glare at them as your friend leaves

You're sick of them for ruining everything

For making you believe things that aren't true

For making you have visions of things you're most against

For making you overthink and linger on any little thought you have

For not letting you be happy for two god damn minutes

For making you scared of yourself

For making you not trust yourself
or any of your joys of life

For making you doubt everything you once held dear, such as your identity or beliefs

Then it hits you.....nothing this thought is saying is true

It's not YOU

It's someone else saying it

You're STRONGER then them

You can overcome this thought

It will be okay

So you stand your ground, and
take in the realization that these thoughts do not define you or even are you, and then the thought starts to grow smaller

Their voice becomes small and almost humorous

And then, they're not threatening anymore, so you pick them up and put them in a small jar

You can still hear them, but its way smaller, then you say "Hey, you're NOT me, I am me, I know what I want, YOU cannot control me, I control ME!"

Sometimes they'll break out of the jar when the fear comes back, but each time, you're getting stronger and stronger at fighting against them

And soon enough, you'll be able to ignore them and coexist and have your friend be over without them being obnoxious or bothering you, they're simply just there

They can't hurt you or anybody else for that matter as long as you don't react to them or do the things they say❤️

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