Musical One-Shots

'My Generation' (DEH)

Trigger Warning ⚠️

Was this a rant? Yes. Do I want people I know in real life to read this? Not really. Do I honestly care at this point? No.

Connor POV

Cutting isn't really my style.

Well, that's a lie. I cut, but very rarely.

Hands shaking and frantically searching for a pencil sharpener, I can't seem to unscrew the damn screw that held that majestic peice of metal that could comfort like no other. So, I do what I usually do.

Pinch, punch, watch the blood poor.

Its getting inflamed now. I'll just pass it off as mosquito bites tomorrow.

Now you may be asking why I could relapse after two weeks clean? Well, my old friend that I thought u had finally murdered in cold blood decided to show up.

Internalized Homophobia and Condescending Speech. My man!

"Your generation injects these inappropriate topics into media."

You know what dad, you can fuck yourself. Oh, I'm sorry, that would be gay and Satan knows that we can't inject children's media with this poison!

I'm not inappropriate.

I'm not wrong.

I'm not something that's a horrific disease, something you hide from children in order to preserve their innocence.

I just wanna go a day being able to kiss my lovely girlfriend in public, and not hear a mother gasp and cover her child's eyes in the background.

Is that too much to ask?

The only people I should need to ask for my marriage blessing are my parents. I shouldn't have to ask 329,524,838 people whether I even have the right to love somebody of the same gender.

Is that too much to ask?

I just want to go a day where I can not be on the verge of an anxiety attack, where nobody criticizes 'your generation...', where I don't need to joke about self harm and suicide as a coping mechanism...

Is that too much to ask?

I wish I could go a day without anxiety, but that would only make the anxiety worse because I know it's inevitable, simply basing it's time and deciding whether to maul me like a saber tooth tiger or nip at me like a cat. It's gonna hurt either way...

Is that too much to ask?

I just want a normal teenage girl life, where my biggest worries aren't about my friends' abuisive parents, or whether I'll ever see them again outside of a casket, or whether I should cut my nails or not because what if I need to self harm soon but I'm getting better but getting better only means that you're getting worse without knowing-

And I don't want that. I want my biggest worry to be some high school boy I'm swooning over, not the latest high school boy who's been killed at gunpoint...

Is that too much to ask?

I want my world to not be fucked up. 'My generation' has to worry about if going to school will be the death of us, whether it's by gun or by rope. 'My generation' jokes about our mental health not because we don't take it seriously, but because that's the only remotely healthy way we can deal with in it. 'My generation' is always typing away on our phones because we're ranting to a friend about how our parents just said something so painfully ignorant that in that moment we want to go jump off of a bridge. And we all think this, but it's fine since it's 'all in out heads'. 

So the next time you talk about how hard your life was walking to school instead of taking a bus, think about how hard I have to restrain not walking into traffic.

So you can go just shut the fuck up or smarten up. Take your pick, but I already know what your answer is going to be.