A Short Rope

Chapter 7

All I need is a cliff. Or a roof. Something high off the ground that I can jump off. Because I need to die. Yes. Die. Dying is nice. No pain. No issues. No toxic friends that ruin everything. Because they ruin everything. Yes, they do. They don't. No. CAN'T understand what I am going through in this mess of a head. Maybe they don't understand because I'm not going through anything. But I am. And if I am. Then why? Why the hell do I have to go through it? Why? That is a good question. It is always a good question, but why. Why can't I understand? I can understand. But can I? No, I can. Can. Jar. I want a jar. A jar full of pretty flowers. Flowers. They bloom. Yes, bloom. I want to bloom into something amazing. I just have to wait. Wait. Waiting. I can't wait. No. Not anymore. I have to....
Die?
Yes.
Why? So you can upset the one person that cares for you. How thoughtful.
Shut up. You don't understand.
Sadly I am stuck inside this hell so yes I can.
Your lying.
If I am lying then aren't you just lying to yourself.
...
And she is at a loss for words. Congrats.
I open my eyes to the nightmare that is the world. A world. The world. The mistake of gods. I wish there was a god to help me. Sadly they either don't like me or well. I should just die. Yes, l. I should drown. It was in a dream once. At first painful but then bliss. Does that dream translate to reality though? No. Dreams are dreams for a reason.
COLD. I scan my surroundings as they come into view. It seems I walked to the lake by my house. How fitting. Fitting. Fit. Do I fit? No. Maybe.
Outcast.
Go to hell.
Sure I'll join you on your trip.
The words spoken make my feet move. Deeper and deeper into the depths of the lake. Legs wet. Then body. And now my shoulders. Soon my head is under and then my breath short. Seems I was right. Drowning is painful, but it will be over soon. Soon. Is it soon yet. Yes, it is. Bye.

-~~-
Drowning is a shitty way to die. I wouldn't recommend. I am still alive. Bye.
-the author