Memories Of Love (Sequel Call Me Monster)

Chapter 30

Kyungsoo

It was like I had a second chance to be there for Jongin when he needed me the most. He must have looked the same way when he had fell and hit his head. The white sheets making his skin look tanned but unusually pale at the same time. His hands unmoving next to his body.
I wondered if it would have gone differently when I had been the one he had seen next to his hospital bed and could tell him how things were. But at the same time I doubted it. Which was kind of a relief. Feeling like I couldn't have done anything.

I reached out and caressed the top of his head, slowly moving my hand down to cup his cheek. After I heard why Xiumin didn't like Jongin, I had been mad. Jongin always seemed to find a way to ruin things. Intentionally or not. Now I felt a different kind of anger.

"I am going to the toilet and get some coffee. Want some?" Jongin's mother had immediately left work as soon as she got the call and she had been half asleep on the big chair next to the bed.

I shook my head, "no thanks."

She nodded and left the room, leaving me alone with her son. Jongin's fingers started moving and his eyes fluttered open as if he had been waiting for her to disappear. The suddenness frightened me a bit and I noticed my breath had hitched. "You are awake," I choked out.

His eyes scanned the room before landing on me. "Are you the only one here?" His voice was rough.

"No. Your mother will be right back." I replied, leaning back a bit. "How could you, Jongin?"

He narrowed his eyes in confusion. "What?"

"You didn't go back to the hospital when your wound didn't heal as it should have," I started. "Plus, you have been drinking while being on medicine. Is this a joke to you?"

"I..."

"Why have you been so careless?" I swallowed thickly before continuing. "Do you realise what you are doing to the people around you when you act this way?"

Jongin pushed himself up on his elbows. "I didn't," he admitted. "Honestly, I didn't think at all. I Just wanted the world to start making sense."

My expression softened. I had been so caught up in my own feelings that I hadn't realised how it must feel to be the one that couldn't even trust his own mind. Maybe I should have noticed all these things about him. "I get it."

"I'm sorry." He put his head back onto the pillow and breathed out. "For everything."

I sighed deeply, not ready to tell him everything was fine, but I also didn't want to leave him hanging. So I reached out and touched his hand with mine.

Jongin stared down at them. "I just want to be a good person."

"You are." This wasn't something I had trouble saying. "And I still love you because I can see it."

I had expected him to complain or something else, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me on top of him, taking me in his arms. I hugged him back, letting myself melt into the moment. I could pretend like nothing had happened and that we were just cuddling in bed. I wrapped my arms tighter around him and buried my face in his shoulder. 

A cough echoed through the room, making us part. I turned to see who the sound came from and quickly watched the reaction of the guy beside me. Jongin looked just as surprised as I was at seeing his father in the doorframe. 

The man raked a hand through his hair as he smiled faintly. "Hey, boy."

Sehun

To say I was surprised was an understatement. I was taking steps backwards away from Jongdae, at a loss for words. What could I say? How could I not hurt him? There was no way I could think of. "Chen... I... don't..." I stammered. 

"Sehun, I didn't..." Jongdae searched for words. His eyes were already gleaming and I knew I was going to make it worse.

"Chen... I am so sorry." I turned around and rushed away. I just couldn't do it. I pushed people aside while running towards the toilet. I had to get away. As soon as I was inside I grabbed the sink with both hands, bending my head. Please don't follow me in, I thought as I closed my eyes. 

"Are you okay?" 

I quickly turned around, resting my back against the sink. I sighed in relief as I realised it was Lay. "I don't think so."

His expression softened. "What's wrong?"

I didn't even hesistate as I poured out my problem to him. "There's this guy that has a crush on me, but I don't. I can't." 

"Why not?" Lay asked.

I moved to lean against the wall and took a deep breath. "Cause I care too much about someone else."

"Do you feel bad about it?" He stepped closer to me and carefully placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I do." I turned my face away from him. "But that's not all. I did something for the other person. Something I still regret."

Lay pulled away, but not in a troubling way. "What is it?"

I shook my head. "I cannot tell you."

"Is it that bad?" He questioned in a tone that was supposed to make me feel better. Like he did not believe it was.

"You have no idea." My voice was as bitter as I felt. No one had any idea.

Lay furrowed his eyebrows, not having expected that answer. "Can I help you to fix it?"

"I'm afraid it was hopeless as soon as it happened."

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Hello,

I am so sorry for not publishing these past weeks. I rescued a kitten and I have been very busy with taking care of her, so I couldn't write.

But I am back AGAIN. 

Hope you guys don't mind too much.

Love y'all.