You Could Make A Religion Out Of This, and other shorts

Like Water Rushing Over Stone

Summary: How does a demon fall in love with an angel? How does an angel fall in love with a demon?

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A/N: This was originally done as a characterization summary in private, but I liked it enough to post it as a microfic. It was originally posted in two chapters; here I'll be posting it as one. First half is Crowley pov, second half is Aziraphale.

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D'you know, the first time we met? You know? So. So-

Okay, so. We're in the garden, right? THE Garden, and I've been messing about causing trouble like I was told to and things have just gone all-- all-- all apple-shaped, right? So. So I look up on the wall and there's this angel up there, beautiful and-- and ethereal and... just... really pretty. Oh he was so pretty up on that wall...

Where was I? Oh, right, so, I decide, nnn, why not, y'know, go up an have a chat? What could it hurt? So I get up there, and, okay, I've seen him in the garden already, right, and I know he's got this flaming sword and I'm, I'm thinking, y'know, don't want to go meeting the business end of that, right, so, so, I'm all, I'm looking for the flaming sword while we talk and I don't see it, and I'm all, y'know, oh where's your flaming sword, right? Yeah.

And d'you know what he said? You know what he said? He said. He said. Oh I. Gave it away.

Gave it away! Can you imagine? The Almighty gives him a flaming sword, really nice, and he just... gave it away! Well naturally I wanted to know why, and he just... starts fretting about the humans. Adam and Eve, you know. It's dangerous out there. There's wild animals, she's expecting, God's inventing rain. And I'm thinking, here you are, an angel of the lord, given the huge responsibility of guarding the Eastern Gate with a great flaming sword, and all you can think is, gosh, I hope those humans are going to be alright. And I mean, he was fussing, he's always fussing, but he was mostly worried about whether maybe he'd made a bad decision that would hurt them even more. Not 'I hope I didn't do the wrong thing for the Great Plan', but 'I hope I didn't do the wrong thing for them.'

I think that was the moment for me, really...

He's like that, you know. Really-- really cares, y'know? 'Bout the humans. Oh, he can be ruthless if he needs to, or if he's put on the spot, or if they're being really bloody-minded about buying one of his books, but. But. But he just really cares, on a personal level I've never known anyone heaven or hell to do. He frets and he fusses and he worries over whether he made the right decision but he always decides to do the thing that will help then and worry about it afterward.

And, and don't get me wrong, I mean, he is a stone-cold bastard when he wants to be, but he's just. He's so warm. He cares. He loves. He Loves. He really does.

I don't know how I was supposed to not fall in love with him. I don't know how everyone doesn't.

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Would you like to hear about the first time we met?

It was in Eden, you know. The Beginning. I was standing on the wall, watching over Adam and Eve as they left- I know there was nothing I could do, but at least I could keep an eye on them for that little bit longer, you see. And as I'm standing there, a snake slithers up beside me and forms into this... well, the most beautiful being I'd ever seen, honestly. I was a little startled-- I'd heard that demons were stripped of their beauty when they fell, and I remember thinking, gosh, if this is how he looks after being stripped of his beauty...

Hmm, yes, what was I saying? Of course, the Garden. So, we're standing on this wall, watching the humans, and we start discussing the matter, and I-- oh, I knew who he was, of course. It wasn't exactly difficult to figure out. And I'd known he was around, I just hadn't done a very good job of, you know, doing my job. I was never very good at my job. Being a soldier never suited me.

Anyway, one of the first things he said was, 'bit of an overreaction'. Yes, I know! 'First offense and everything'. And I remember thinking how much I agreed, and had been privately feeling the same thing, only, of course, you don't Question the Almighty.

Well! He clearly disagreed with me, because that's just what he kept doing. Asking questions, I mean. And I remember thinking. But you're a demon. Shouldn't you be trying to tempt me? To use your demonic wiles? But he didn't even try. Honestly, he seemed more like he just wanted a bit of company. Lonely. Yes, that's the word. He seemed lonely. So terribly alone. Like all he really wanted in the world was someone he could have a nice chat with.

Looking back, I think that's where it started. You see, I was just as lonely as he was, just as desperate for some company. And he made such endearing company. He made me laugh. It wasn't always things I should be laughing at, but he did. And I loved that about him. There have been so many times that I found myself in dire need of a laugh.

I've spent the past six thousand years with him, the two of us gravitating around each other. We've kept each other company, and I've learned all of the wonderful, terrible things that course through him under the surface. I know his weaknesses, I know his strengths, and most importantly I know the things he will not say aloud, because it hurts him to do so.

I like to think he's a little less lonely now. He's got me, you see.

And I know I'm a little less lonely for having him.