this was written last month. this is not a letter but this is something I want you to know. during the time you have been gone, it has been hard for me. I want you to know all the changes I went through. this is something I will never tell you and never let you see.
I wanted to forget
I grew up with you, you have seen me go through so many phases in my life, you gave me everything. now, you're not here with me to see the things I'm doing, you can't see give me everything. you missed a year of being with us. we have changed a lot. I feel like I changed the most, I have been doing these things you as a father would never like to see their child do. I'm sorry for doing these things smoking, lying just so my mum would let me out by saying it's for school, doing things that would get me in trouble, lying to you when you ask me how I'm doing in school. I'm sorry, I know that's not enough. I'm not the best. ever since we left Georgia and you got taken away. I just started doing fucked up shit that you would never see GC do. I did these things just to forget who I was back in Georgia, forget what I lost, forget who I left, forget who left me, forget what ruined me, I just wanted to forget everything. I cut my hair just to get rid of my old image, so people here don't know me the same way they knew me in Georgia. Having you gone was really hard for us and it still is. she wasn't the reason I forgot who I was this time. it was me. I made myself forget and I hate who I am now.
~G.xx
Sorry for becoming this monster. this isn't the kid you last saw when you left. I hated seeing that kid, that you loved so much. I hated seeing the same scared kid. I hated doing things I used to do. don't worry though, I still remember everything we would always do. when you come back I would love to do everything we did back when we were all together. I hope soon when you come back and have all the money we need we could go back to Georgia and restart. I kinda hate living here in Kansas. we really miss you. I hate seeing my mum all stressed. I hate seeing my siblings cry. it's hard seeing them like this. I have to stay strong in front of them but I can't.
~G.xx
YOU ARE READING
Dear Me,
Short Storyi added some entries from my journal in here. it's really weird to put it out there but, hey who really cares :/ this was all written in 2017. i was like 12 or 13 when i wrote all of this.
