Concerning That One Thing That Kind of Happened | Good Omens Short Story

Concerning That One Thing That Kind of Happened at One Point in Time

Some time in 48 BC, (perhaps a Tuesday,) Egypt

Crowley watched silently from his hiding place, observing the troops of either side yelling abuse at each other and doing even worse than what they were saying. He grimaced. It was a complete lie to say that the murder and anger pleased him, but he knew all too well that the mortals were just being themselves and that the war would run its course. You're a demon, this is meant to be fun to watch. He chided himself, slipping out from where he was hidden. Miraculously unnoticed, Crowley weaved through the battle. A sword nearly caught him in his chest. Swiftly side stepping the dueling warriors, the demon broke out from the fighting crowds. 

Hurrying up the slope, he quickly caught sight of his destination. The looming form of the library of Alexandria towered above him, glorious and casting a dark shadow over him. He had never had an interest in architecture, but he could at least appreciate the effort that had gone into making the library look grand. Casting one last look over his shoulder, Crowley stepped through the doorway. 

Immediately after entering, Crowley was met with an uncomfortable feeling. A sense of holiness and overall goodness shrouded the shelves crammed to the brims with books of every appearance. Some of the spines were worn, others were in perfect condition. He reached for a book on the closest shelf, drawn in by the tattered cover and faded colour. The writing on the spine was worn down to the point where it was unreadable, only a few dull letters visible. "AH-" As soon as he touched the red book, a burning pain shot through the demon's fingers. Crowley quite literally hissed, quickly retracting his hand. He then turned it over to examine it. There were red marks on his palm and finger tips, like he had burnt them on something hot. Lifting his gaze to look at the book he had tried to retrieve, he soon saw the reason for the pain. Although a lot of the letters had been worn off, a few were still readable. "Bible..." He muttered to himself, scowling at the golden letters. "Of course. Should've known!" Backing away while massaging his hurt hand, his snake eyes scoured the shelves surrounding him. 

"Of course whoever thought it was a good idea to get every single book in existence would have bibles." The demon growled. "Pretty dismal for the apparent home of some of the most precious knowledge in the world, huh?" He said to no one in particular, noticing the thick layers of dust coating some of the books. "Eh, head office will be happy if all this is so important." With a snap of his fingers, flames leapt into his uninjured palm. "Sorry, people." 

With a simple flick of his wrist, the fire flew from his hand and met the floor. Immediately, orange and golden flames leapt up, greedily devouring the old paper and consuming the entire room. The interior of the library was practically made of everything flammable. Soon the ceiling was completely hidden by a thick, black blanket of smoke and shelves were starting to fall. Seeing as he had accomplished what he intended to, Crowley swiftly exited the burning library. My work here is done. Shame though. The mortals are going to be quite upset, especially the one who started it. The demon mused, glancing back at the hungry flames starting to lick at the stone walls and spilling out of the open doorway. He quickly made his way back down the slope, deciding to move around the edges of the battle this time. More and more soldiers saw the fire, and the ones closest fled, most likely afraid that the fire would come down the hill to get them. Soon, the entire battle field was in disarray, the fighters torn between the growing flames and stabbing their distracted enemies. 

Soon Crowley was safely out of range of the chaotic war grounds and spreading fire. Somehow the fire had spread out of the library and onto the docks, where Caesar's enemies had their ships. He glanced at the flaming boats, feeling a pang of pity for those who were undoubtedly on board. Okay, so maybe using hellfire was a bit too much. I'll just make sure everyone miraculously escapes.