What if Saitama became Fourze?

Space is in your hands!

People: A monster!/ Run away!

There are people running away as they encountered a massive crab humanoid monster, with muscular body, big goggly human eyes, but wears Underwear and Muscular Human Legs with drawn Nipples due to Permanent Ink. In front of him was a man wearing a suit with shaggy black hair and emotionless brown eyes. This man is Saitama, three years before he became the One Punch Man.

Crablante: Hah?! Why aren't you running away?! You sure you don't want to run away?!

Saitama looks at him before he sighs.

Crablante: I ate so much and too many crab that transform me into this, Crablante! So why are you not running?!

Saitama: Well... not quite.

Crablante blinked in confusion.

Saitama: I couldn't care less about everything. So I'm in no mood to run. While I am a salaryman, I don't have a job and I was recently fired earlier.

Crablante then points his pincer claws near Saitama's face.

Crablante: Your eyes are lifeless, just like mine! From one set of lifeless eyes or another, I'll let you go. Besides, right now...

Crablante's eyes cracked and grins that would make the Joker claps his hands and laughs at his face.

Crablante: I've got a different prey to hunt. Big-chinned brat that has the size of a human's ass! And when I find him, I'll tear his ass forcefully making him eat it! Because that would made him look like an ass, eating his own ass! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

He walks away as Saitama looked bored as usual as he walked he heard a football getting kicked as he saw an ass-chinned boy kicking his soccer ball.

Big-chinned boy: What are you looking at?

Saitama: *mind* He's right, his chin looks like a man's ass. And it is so big no woman could never resist in getting jealous of it's size. If he's caught, he's dead!

Saitama: Hey kid, I have a question, were you the one who mess up that big crab monster earlier?

Big-Chin: Well he was sleeping at the park so I drew nipples on him with a marker.

Saitama's eyes widened.

Saitama: *mind* It's definitely him, goddamn kids and their curiosity, he's going to get killed at this rate! Should I help him?

The Big Chin boy then continues to play as Saitama shook his head.

Saitama: *mind* Nah, it's none of my business, besides he literally looks like an ass. Nobody even cares, really.

Then Saitama walked away as the kid kept practicing. Until Crablante suddenly appeared.

Crablante: KEKEKE! FOUND YOU!!!!

Big Chin: Huh?!

He tries to kill him with his Pincer but Saitama grabbed him and saved his life.

Saitama: *mind* What the hell am I doing?! Why am I saving this kid's life?! Is this because of instinct?!

Crablante growls.

Saitama: Kid, he's after you, run!

Big Chin: Why did you save me?

Saitama: That Crab Monster is after you because of your curiosity, now stop talking and run! I'll handle this!

Big Chin: But my soccer ball...

Crablante smashes it with his foot as he grins.

Crablante: You again?! What's the big idea?! I'm going to kill him for what he did to me!